In praise of praise and compliments

by exwhyzee 5 Replies latest social humour

• 

  exwhyzee

  I was thinking about how important praise and compliments are and how they can make all the difference to a person who may be feeling unsure, overwhelmed or sort of ordinary. I received 3 out of the blue compliments this past weekend that for some reason seem to have energized me when I was feeling sort of like just another starfish on the beach. One compliment gave me the reassurance that I am on the right track. Another gave me the shot in the arm I needed to keep going with a difficult project. The third one made me very late and makes my heart thump in my chest when I think about it 3 days later. Everyone gets compliments that are often just niceties that we say to one another but when someone compliments or praises you and is very specific, it really can get to you and make all your efforts feel worthwhile.

  What’s the nicest compliment you’ve received and how did it make you feel? Maybe you complimented someone and could see by their reaction that you had said just the right thing. Tell us about it.
• 

  whathappened

  exwhyzee, I like your screenname, it's quite clever. That's another genuine compliment!!!

  Yes, some compliments you remember all your life. Sometimes it's not what they said, it's who said it. If it is from someone who you never thought would ever say a nice thing about you, or from someone who you hold in high esteem, it really, truly is something special.

  While growing up, I was always told I was pretty and funny. My sister was alway told she was smart. I grew up thinking I was dumb and my sister thought she wasn't pretty. Neither assumption is the case. It just goes to prove how powerful compliments are. Now, I always make sure to compliment all children present equally. I never compliment one without saying something special about the other one. A compliment can truly make someone's day.

  I was told that I was the salt of the earth, another time a true blue friend. Those were special comments for me. I appreciated being complimented on something other than my looks.
• 

  breakfast of champions

  The most important, genuine compliment I ever got was from my dad (my worldly dead-at-Armageddon dad).

  He just repeatedly said over the years, (with regards to my sister and me):

  "You and your sister have two really amazing brains!"

  Words that ultimately changed my life.
• 

  fakesmile

  i have found that in management, nothing motivates your team like a pat on the back. especially when a team member is obviously having a bad day. just mention a minor success that they accomplished and watch the stride return in their step. that is a great parallel in why the elDUHs would NEVER make a good "shepherd".
• 

  exwhyzee

  exwhyzee, I like your screen name, its quite clever. That's another genuine compliment !!! -Whathappened

  See what I mean.....I used that name because I was too unclever to come up with anything better. It's true what you were saying about having to be sure and dole out the compliments to children carefully lest you make them feel pigeon holed into a certain role. Then again they have to learn that just because sister #1 is told she is pretty means that sister #2 isn't pretty.

  B.O.C. "You and your sisters have two really amazing brains!"

  What your Dad said to you probably went farther toward giving you the confidence and permission to eventually use your own head than hours of lecturing and debating over what differences he had with you being raised JW.

  Fakesmile I agree, being alert to opportunities for catching someone doing well is so much more motivating than looking for wrongdoing. It seems like some folks are stingy with praise because they think they need to keep others in their place....keep them from thinking too highly of themselves. (god forbid) If they tell you you are doing well they are afraid you'll slack off.

  I'm still on a little bit of a high from what was said to me a few days ago and it has reminded me to be on the watch to do the same for those around me.
• 

  Quendi

  I’ve received my fair share of compliments—some of them from fellow JWN posters—but one that will stay with me for the rest of my life was what I was told on the day I graduated from the University of Colorado. I had the privilege of giving one of the graduation speeches for the Geography Department. During the reception that followed, one of the members of the audience said, “I’ve listened to a lot of graduation speeches down through the years and I just wanted you to know that yours was the best one I have ever heard.”

  Quendi