Advice please...teenager stuff

by Aussie Oz 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • yknot

    Fake ear gauges are an option...(ditto other piercings)

    It would be a good lesson for both daughter and JWmom/tool to learn compromise.

    If however you are wanting primary custody of her perhaps use this petty upset to your advantage and move swiftly...

    Then again joint custody with her dividing her time half school year and half summer with you and then with mom would be ideal at this time of her development....

  • jamiebowers
    ...but this is a major one because she is permanently changing her visible features...

    Outsmartthesystem, as I stated in an earlier post, my stepson wore those awful gauges for probably a year. The holes were HUGE! Just this morning I carefully examined his earlobes, (he thought I'd gone completely crazy until I explained why I was doing it), and his earlobes are normal.

  • Chemical Emotions
    Chemical Emotions

    I disagree with baltar- I cannot sympathize with any parent who would ever threaten to kick their 15YO old out, whether they mean it or not. Ugh. How digusting. But I do get that they are way different than earings. They are more- erm- obvious! It's pretty strange-looking. Not my thing (and I actually want to get a tattoo). But making a big deal out of it, as if it was some horrible thing would be petty and stupid. Any parent who does should just grow the hell up. And hell, at least it's not a tattoo.

    I think it's great that so many people on this thread are open-minded about it though, and so non-petty. What a difference, compared to the attitudes that I'm used to.

    But back to the original question- I agree with the posts. Be prepared in case what you think is happening does in fact happen.

    Sorry, I'm not of much help here. I just think the other posts made sense, mostly.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    To update all...

    On friday after i picked her up she told me she wanted to live with me now. I have been preparing for this for a while really, and have been aware of the stuff scully mentioned: (thanks scully for putting it very neatly)

    To answer your question though, prepare to have her move in with you. Clearly she does not want to abide by JW rules, and her mum and step-father want to shove those rules down her throat. Have a sit down with her prior to her moving in and make it abundantly clear that while you are far more liberal than her mum and step-father, you are concerned about her safety and, as jamiebowers said, will not tolerate drug or alcohol abuse, you expect her to be responsible for her overall well-being (eating disorders) and particularly so when she is sexually active (birth control) and she has to take school seriously. Set curfews for her, give her chores and an allowance, and once she's old enough to get a job, she should get one.

    and yes, i see kicking out reserved for real rebellion with stuff such as drugs etc.

    At her request i called her mother and told her the news then passed the phone to daughter to speak with her mum. It was a difficult call to make and left my daughter and her mother in tears. She will miss her little brother and sister very much and her mother asked to not be a stranger and can visit anytime. So thats a pretty good outcome. There are a few behind the scenes converataions that took place over the last month, thing both her mother and step father d=said that led to the move.

    I look forward to being a full time dad and will do my best to keep steering her in life. Stay tuned...

    thankyou all who commented on what is a challenging situation


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