Welcome Smartgirl. I think you'll like it here. Hopefully, you'll get some good insights that will help you decide what's right for you.
I can empathize with being "out" but still following all the rules. I did that for quite some time. I eventually found, however, that I couldn't go back. I had seen too much hypocrisy to be able to reactivate myself and give 100 percent once again. Now I just put my faith in Jehovah rather than a publishing company.
Meeting people not in the "truth" is difficult. JW's tend to judge everyone immediately and then look to see if somehow the "worldly" people can shake off the "judgement" that you've issued on them. I eventually found that it is better to accept people for what they are....both JW's and non-JW's. Removing the preconceptions allows you to like or dislike a person for who they actually are, rather than for where they place their butt three times a week.
Any bad behavior that is committed by active JW's is due to the fact that they are imperfect. One must make sure that their own attitude is correct so that they don't judge these imperfect actions. Any bad behavior committed by "worldly" people just proves to the active JW that these people are ruled by Satan and are, therefore, not worthy of association. Same actions, but the reactions expected are totally different....depending on religious affiliation. And, it's YOUR fault if you don't like what your "brothers" and "sisters" are doing.
The more you learn and experience, the less appealing this sort of "doublethink" becomes.