Stop making sense, op.
Other questions are:
Why start with building the most power creations first (angels), then the least (animals), then the intermediate (man)? Shouldn't you start with working the bugs out as you work your way up? Obviously YHWH had a faulty design in man AND angels in the free will arena: God should've worked it out with man BEFORE proceeding to angels, with beta-testing, if Gods "perfection" ain't all that !!
The reason why it's goofy is its just a story, made by men: you find similar continuity errors in movies, TV, books, etc which SHOULD be a clue that it's a work of fantasy, like Mother Goose (although people don't feel compelled to waste their lives over Mother Goose, under threat of death if they don't preach about how great the story is).
If the story were submitted for a creative writing assignment, it would be handed back with a low grade, with words written by the teacher on the paper stating, "concept is weak: re-do scenario to something more plausible".
PS the serpent being Satan is also a late interpretation added by Xians: it's simply a serpent, a trickster figure, according to ancient and modern-day Jews.