5 Rules for Diagreeing Agreeably

by skeeter1 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • skeeter1

    Rule #1: Give others the benefit of the doubt.

    Maybe this person has made the outrageous generalization isn't really insensitive. Maybe this person has had a painful experience that made them overreact.

    Rule #2: When disagreeing with someone, always take resonsibility for our own feelings.

    Make a commitment to respond using "I" statements only. When we begin with "you" we come off as blaming and confrontational and immediately put teh other person on the defensive.

    Rule #3 Use a cushion.

    Connect or "cushion" a different opinion, starting with "I hear what you're saying . . . " Again, begin with the word "I" and not "You said . . . " or it will sound confrontational.

    Rule #4 Eliminate the wroth "but" or "however"

    Acknowledgement of the individual's point of view followed by a "but" or "however" erases that acknowledgement.

    Rule #5 State our point of view or opinion with relevant and factual evidence. Keep our emotions out of the equation by usingt the following formula

    a) Take time to reflect.

    What do I think? Why do I think it? What evidence do I have?

    b) Then speak

    "One example is . . " "This shows that . . . " "Therefore I think"

    (From Dale Carnegie Training)

  • slimboyfat

    What a load of nonsense, you fool.

    (This was meant to be ironic)

  • Glander

    I have never diagreed with anything you have said. To the canary, I feel you have always pretty much been agreedable in your diaphrams.

  • palmtree67
  • panhandlegirl

    Works for me!

  • skeeter1

    I am not saying that anyone has ever disagreed with me! I read the article this afternoon at the doctor's office. I had to have my eyes examined. Sorry if my typing was not great. My eyes are still dilated a bit. And, my new glasses will not be here for a few weeks.

    I posted this thread mainly to help those argue with "still in" JW family members and friends. But, I also posted it as a reminder to all of us on how to post. These threads get caustic, and then good people like Band on the Run, Outlaw, etc get fed up and leave.


  • Glander

    No caustic intended, Skeet. just some genital teasing. You're OK in my book.

  • skeeter1
  • fakesmile

    great points. but wont theocratic sedition be upset if we all just start being civil? you know with us not having jehoobers blessings and whatnot.

    and im not done breaking entirely possibles balls yet. wink

  • tec

    I like it, thanks :)



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