"we were just talking...shes not free to remarry...we werent flirting or doing anything wrong"

by WuzLovesDubs 25 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • Etude

    WuzLovesDubs: If you're resolute to leave him, please don't let him push your buttons. I thought: If he and the other "sister" happen to get it on because of the emotional intimacy they seem to be sharing, then he's the one who's going to be before the elders explaining himself, plus he'll drag her down with him for what happened. Either way, whether he does it or not, it shouldn't make any difference to you. I know it's easier said than done, but nothing he does further should change your decision.

    Then I thought: No. She needs to be prepared. Here's why: I knew a guy who worked at the same compony I did and his girlfriend, a nice lady. After my wife and I became friends with them as a couple, I learned that she used to be a Witless. What happened was that her husband at the time, also a Witless, had an affair with her mother. Holy crap! I had never personally heard of such a thing before. In an ironic twist, the husband begged forgiveness to the elders. The elders turned and asked my friend to come to a meeting, I guess with the intent that since the husband asked Jehovah for forgiveness that she would forgive him too. When she refused, they disfellowshipped her instead. My understanding is that he and her mother are still in the congregation and she's out.

    So, it's possible that from your actions, you'll get some backlash. So be ready. Let him eat his own vomit. I'm speaking metaphorically.

    Then yesterday he announced to me that he thought I was talking to a man on the phone..
    .and sounded disappointed that I wasnt.Then yesterday he announced to me that he thought I was talking to a man on the phone
    ...and sounded disappointed that I wasnt...

    He`s chasing Another Skirt and..

    Wants a WBT$ Pat on the Head for doing it..

    Give him a Dog Bisquit with a Ribbon on it..

    .......................... ...OUTLAW

  • NewChapter

    He is definitely hoping that you will be the one to move on first. He probably figures that you have less to lose, since you have already left the JW's. I have heard this story several times when a woman asked a JW for a divorce. One of the first things they insist on is that they will remarry! It's almost like they demanding that you have sex with someone else so they can live their lives.

    Mine was the opposite. My husband was not a JW when he left me, but he was a grown child. He wanted to move home to his parents, and adult responsibilites got to be too much. But he did NOT move on, because he was just too selfish (as far as I was concerned). Plus I think he liked the control it gave him over me to continue to control my life---without the responsibilities. I would often tell people that I had all the bad stuff about marriage and none of the good.

    I was stuck that way for 5 years as I watched my 20's fade into my 30's. At first, it wasn't a big deal. I didn't want to date, and really needed to get my head together. That marriage had messed me up. Toward the end though, it was becoming really a big problem, and I was getting really resentful. I could NOT understand why Jehovah would make such a rule. Here was a guy that didn't honor his marriage, or Jehovah, yet I was completely under his control. Stupidest thing ever, and the longer it went on the less it made sense.

    I didn't want to stalk him---I really was not interested in his sex life, but I deeply resented that to get the information that I needed to move on, I would have to stick my nose where it didn't belong. So I didn't. Eventually I ended up with my own JC, went inactive for 2 years, got married in that time, went back to another JC, but managed not to get DF'd.

    JW's have a screwed up view of marriage---everything they touch turns pathological. Anyway, I'm totally with you. No matter why you are leaving, it would be impossible to sit by stoically after finding out he may have been carrying on an emotional affair while the marriage was still intact, and that his faithful family was actually looking for someone else for him. It's enough to make you scream.

    I wish you the best. Sounds like you should prepare for some stalking though.


  • nugget

    Your husband may say he is working on the marriage but his actions speak otherwise. He wants you to be the bad guy to make it all your fault and make you ease his path to remarriage. Throwing a magazine at you and telling you that there is a witness woman who is a better wife prospect are hardly the actions of a man trying to relight the fires of marriage.

    He is the one moving on and a slave to his raging hormones but he wants you to be the one to be subjected to personal questions about your life and suffer indignity so he can get married again should his listening ear be in a position to marry.

    I find this element of JW life totally seedy and rather disgusting. He is the one bound by these rules and your life is your business. He will have to either wait for you to remarry or he will have to bite the bullet himself. If he is desperate to "move on" then you will probably find unwelcome attention. The assumption that you would be willing to sleep around or write a letter detailing your sexual exploiuts is the ultimate lack of respect.

  • carla

    You could always write NY and tell them how unchristian you find the whole darn thing and these jw women blah, blah........ how hurt you are and so forth, just when you were turning to jah for comfort...... Explain the situation and the letter WILL make it back to the elders of his current kh, he WILL get a talking to and the woman in question WILL get a talking to as well.

    Or you could let him go and make someone else' life hell and move on with yours.

    Wishing you peace.

  • somebody

    (((((((WLD)))))))) You can never say that you didn't give your marriage your all. Living like you have been for YEARS AND YEARS must have taken it's toll on your both physically and mentally. I think it's time to be HAPPY! I realize it'll be hard at first, but you'll probably be amazed at how peaceful you'll find yourself after the divorce is over and done with. I would take jgnat's advice seriously, and get on with your glorious life.

    Your husband said, "I dont plan on staying single long but then that will be up to what you do. " HA! That made me laugh. I mean...really? ! What the heck is that? Is he telling you to have sex with someone so that he can succeed in HIS PLAN not stay single long? That's the way I would have taken it. Unbelievable!

    I wish you nothing but the best and most of all, peace and happiness you very much deserve. You've been unhappy for far too long, but I understand why you stayed in the marriage as long as you have. Your children must be grown by now. I hope they are doing well!

    peace to you,


  • apostatethunder

    Wuzlovesdubs, this story seems to repeat itself over and over, they must have a secret manual on how to end a marriage and still look like the innocent part.

    Personally I think he may be having a very physical affair with this sister, I have seen elders doing that for years while giving very nice talks at the hall and fooling everyone.

    You are dealing with an hypocrite here, act accordingly.

    Enjoy the rest of your life, and give him absolutely no explanations. If he harass you in any way, call the police.

    You will be much better off without him. All the best.

  • jamiebowers
    "Youre the one who is DIVORCING ME dont forget!"

    Ha, my answer would've been, "You're the one who is supposed to be the jw, asshole!"

    With that aside, I agree with the others about not wasting your energy on feeling hurt about his relationship with Sister Not Free to Remarry. When the time comes, you can decide whether or not to give him his freedom to remarry, or you could use it as a bargaining chip during divorce proceedings. Either way, they're both going to have to wade through a world of shit to be together, because she still has to find her proof.

  • GLTirebiter
    Are you looking he said? I said um no...we arent even divorced yet. He said well....I dont plan on staying single long but then that will be up to what you do.

    It is just twisted, even downright sick, that he expects you to sink to his level just so he can marry Sister Homewrecker in the Kingdom Hall. If he wants to play the Watchtower game, he's the one who must live by the Watchtower rules. Don't let him (and the GB) manipulate you.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    He said well....I dont plan on staying single long but then that will be up to what you do.

    Here is what the conversation really sounds like:

    ''blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda nuthin' blah blah I want you screw somebody so i can get some myself blah blah yadda yadda yadda''


Share this