You can choose the life you were meant to live as a free an independent person or keep lying to the JWs and go hide under a rock.
Leave the KH as an honorable person with your head held high or keep lying and most likely get found out and end up disfellowshipped. Fading is the most common solution for leaving the WT religion, as it postpones the day of judgment from everyone at the KH. When JWs sneak out the back door into the world, the elders probably think the absent publisher is up to no good- avoiding them, just reinforces that notion.
an observation-- Why is it, that people avoid making proactive decisions, but wait until they have been backed into a corner and they only have one way left to go? The choice you let others make for you , due to inaction on your part, won't be the best deal for you.
As long as you have a JW mother to keep tabs on you, you can't truly live an open life. Are you willing to live a lie until your JW mother dies? That is the path you have started down by default.
But by all means, make up your own mind- I think you already know what needs to happen next.