Welcome konceptual99!
The intention of the members of this site is not to cause anyone to fall into spiritual turmoil. Witnesses who stumble upon factual information outside of what you regularly read from the Watchtower can place anyone into a crisis. I am also currently an active Jehovah’s Witness and have been for almost 20 years. I myself have been doing an objective and unbiased personal study this past year to validate my spiritual foundation as a witness. It has taken a lot of courage and at the same time an enormous amount of humility before researching the history and developments of the Watchtower Society.
We all have presuppositions (assumptions). Our presuppositions are organic and change according to data. Our beliefs are based on arguments, points, and the best available evidence. The assumptions I had about the organization came from the trust I had in the Faithful Slave and the arguments made inside the Watchtower publications. I still feel the organization offers many great things like; the fellowship network, if you travel and go to another country you can stay at a random witness house and feel a sense of comfort knowing you both share the same faith. The fellowship can be clean and enjoyable (if you avoid the Pharisaical friends). They do teach many things that are in context and harmonize with scripture. You can still find friends that have a sense a respect for spiritual accountability and a sincere love for Jehovah.
The biggest hurdle an active witness has to live with inside the organization is to be submissive to the authoritative structure of the Society. The freedom to utilize your own spiritual conscience and logic to conclude whether something being said from the platform indeed has sound scriptural basis doesn’t belong to you. There is no outlet for disagreement other than being counseled repeatedly for a stubborn heretical belief or be disfellowshipped for apostasy. Regardless of your bible trained conscience on a certain matter, it will always, ALWAYS be overridden by the faithful and discreet slave’s written word.
A great example of this is when new light is released (overlapping generations of 1914), everyone that suddenly hears this new light is expected to now preach and believe it as Jehovah’s revealed understanding. Not because you’ve researched, reasoned, or logically concluded it to be true but because 7 men from Brooklyn have decided upon the matter. I use to reason, well these same men showed me other bible truths I still agree with, as not believing in the Trinity, Hell fire, birthdays, holidays, etc. with ample evidence for support. Their track record seemed very good and it didn’t appear unreasonable to place my trust in the organization. You and I, along with 7 million other witnesses have easily done this time and time again.
It should go without saying that nothing on this earth is perfect; humans, governments, or organizations. However, when an organization claims to be the earthly agency, mouthpiece, and only true channel to God, the expectations and their grand claims need to be critically examined.
1 Thessalonians 5:21-“Make sure of all things; hold fast to what is fine.”
Here are the questions that had me on my way towards my independent bible trained thinking.
Has the Watchtower Society been entirely honest with us when detailing its history and evidence supporting their authority? What gives them the right to disfellowship, set dress codes, determine doctrine, demand submissiveness, and advance their own ideas as bible truth?
Tying Jehovah's name into their fallible uninspired bible interpretations is severely dangerous! Not only do they tie God’s name to themselves but when human error is advanced like; false prophecies, contradicting interpretations, or injustices that stem from organizational policy it places God's name in a bad light and people’s faith can be forever shaken…especially if you believe Holy Spirit guides and appoints these leaders.
I am not suggesting to anyone who reads this to leave the organization. If you believe this is Jah’s anointed organization then you would benefit in establishing the firm foundation for this belief. Give yourself the opportunity to validate or invalidate your doubts. Follow truth where ever it may lead you and always pray to God for assistance. There is nothing wrong with inspecting and researching the faith and works that your life will be governed by, that is called walking in integrity.
