Best wishes on your journey to good mental health and the happiness of your family!
I cant fade
by C.O.B.E.Beef 31 Replies latest jw friends
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Simon Morley
Don't worry. Initially it took me a good 6-8 months before I was ready to just stop all together. There are a lot of "moving parts" in your psyche around the issues and they neeed time to allow your cocnscience to reconcile them. Believe me, you will do yourself more harm than good trying to force yourself - the false remorse, feelings of guilt, etc are all "normal" only from your current plane of reference. My wife left first (2 months before me) that was not easy at first, but i have come to be grateful to her for taking such a course.
It will all work out in the end!
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clarity
Hi ....... there is no easy way out
Perhaps this will help! ---------------->
http://www.watchtowerletters.com/our_letter_elders.html
Good luck
clarity
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cult classic
We couldn't fade either. Too stressful, too much work. Your wife standing by you is the biggest . Good luck!
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skeeter1
"To thine own self be true, and thou canst not be false to any man." Shakespeare
Welcome, Skeeter
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Aware!
Me neither.
I'm still forced to go to meetings and service while putting a fake smile and pretending everything's okay. I can't stomach it and fear getting sick. Denial and repression only get you so far. I can't move out yet because of financial reasons. I will never forget this...
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Quarterback
I really don't fake illness, KS. I do have a legitamate health reason to slow down.
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Black Sheep
If there is anyone you want to get through to, ask questions while you are in still good standing. Don't tell them stuff, don't express your own opinion ... just ask a question and let them do the research, talking, thinking.
When you are done .... don't fade, .... just walk away and get on with your life. Don't DA, don't get DFd, that is just playing by their rules, and their rules are designed so that they win. The WT wants you to DA/DF so that their remaining members won't talk to you.
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freeintime
I agree with Black sheep...you really may not have to be disfellowshiped...my husband and I just quit going...and when quiestioned...give non direct answers...admit nothing to them...just say you are not doing anything wrong according to scripture, and have a clean standing before Jehovah...and that's all.... so far we are being left alone...yes we are shunned by most...but not as badly as if we were announced d/f'd. it's working so far for us...good luck to you....yes I said luck
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Phizzy
Black Sheep, as usual offers the best advice.
I too wanted to fade, couldn't stomach it, so just walked out of the K.H one day and that was it.
There is no need as Chris (B.S) says to DA or be DF'd ,and I think it is best not too, however it is still stressful as you have to watch your back, no 50ft illuminated Santa in your front yard at Christmas !
I too left because my Bible trained conscience ( I did not have WT trained one) impelled me to, I could not stay and be part of the blatant worship of the Governing Body.
If you want any help or advice we are here for you, PM us if you prefer, all the best for a happy future for you and family.
to your wife, she is a clever girl.