Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses is NOT the same as the doctrines leaving you

by Terry 52 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  panhandlegirl

  earthfire, your congregation was dysfunctional! The organization claims to be different from the world, having higher morals and living up to them, but they are just like the rest of the world. In fact, they are worse because they claim to be the only ones God approves of and that he will save from destruction. I have seen some of the things you described in some of the congregations I have attended, although the sins and bad deeds were not concentrated in one cong. My female cousin put me down for speaking to my df'd brother at a funeral saying: "I would never let a man come between me and Jehovah." All the while, she was having sex with another sister's elder husband.

  BOTH wrote:

  The reptilian brain in me still fears demons. Even when I totally am absorbed and enjoying "wordly activities," I pause and consider that I would never know such joy if I remained in the Witnesses. Everytime I see a child celebrating a birthday or Christmas, I hurt for my inner child. My profession would be condemned by them. All my volunteer work in many causes condemed/condemns me. There is a deep struggle between the child in me (which wonders if I made the right choice.

  I share your feelings. I fear the same things. It is just difficult to get long-held beliefs out of your mind/brain. It is a constant struggle for many of us, especially for those of us who have never known any other belief.
• 

  Terry

  Even when I totally am absorbed and enjoying "wordly activities," I pause and consider that I would never know such joy if I remained in the Witnesses. Everytime I see a child celebrating a birthday or Christmas, I hurt for my inner child. My profession would be condemned by them. All my volunteer work in many causes condemed/condemns me. There is a deep struggle between the child in me (which wonders if I made the right choice.

  Beautifully expressed!
• 

  Terry

  I've told the story many times...

  I was out on a date with a lady who was a psychologist. She was intelligent, well-read, interesting and non-religious.

  Somehow or other the conversation drifted (why--I don't know) thanks to me....to the "days of Noah".....

  I started telling her, matter-of-fact style, about angels who came down to earth and had sex with women which resulted in the birth of giants....!

  The expression on her face as she realized I WAS SERIOUS....instantly clued me just how damned STUPID I was for ever believing this story!

  It was like whiplash for me. An immediate brain crash from subjective to objective reality kicked in.

  I had never skeptically challenged myself when absorbing bible stories. I swallowed them whole.

  Back to the date----

  I could not stop myself as I finished my thought about how these giants drowned in Noah's flood--but--this incident was the real origin of the mythology

  of the Greeks about Titans and demigods! Then, I started telling her how the angels were forbidden to materialize and became demons.....

  but, she stopped me and excused herself from the table. When she came back she had a "headache" and we had to cut the date short.

  Who could blame her?

  After that I started questioning my own sanity!!
• 

  maccauk11

  What opened my eyes was the fact when i joined i went around telling other people how wrong they are and that their church was satanic. I remember the magazine condeming the catholic church about abuse . How the tables have turned. It dawned upon me that i was becoming a presecutor of those who love Jesus and what right did i have to take someone away form their love and faith in OUr Saviour.
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  maccauk11

  The Truth is everone is the same whatever churhc ordenomination you belong to . We are all trying to make sense of this life. We should ask ouselves what right does someone have to stumble another believer from their love and faith in jesus. Have you not realised you yourself have become a persecutor. With what judgmeent you judge it will be measured back to you. A believer is required to live a life of justice and mercy towards others
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  maccauk11

  Jesus set us free form religion.When are we going to distinguish between the two things. The true church cannot be seen or touched it is spiritual and built with beleivers . We are all still trying to earn our way into Gods favour. It cannot be earned it cannot be bought. All w eneed is Jesus there is nothing else. Everything else is counterfeit or an illusion. Once we actually grasp what Jesus says insted of keepsearching the scriptures thinking by knowing thme you hav elife. You will be set free. You can then worship and prais ethe name above evey other name to the Glory of Almight yGod. Stop looking at what u see look at what you cant see.
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  King Solomon

  (Huh, that's odd: I could've sworn I heard TEC speaking in here....)
• 

  LongHairGal

  TERRY:

  Yes, it is true that it takes at least a couple of years to get the "lingo" out of your head, even if you weren't a born-in and came in as a young adult like I did. The expression "the truth" is one that makes me want to puke and I made a conscious effort to stop saying that early on in my "fade".

  When you say "how many mothers [women] stifle their intelligence around obstinate congregation males.." Well, you can add the word ignorant to that because it was my observation that the more uneducated the man, the more obnoxious he acted towards intelligent or educated women. I am not a PhD by any means but yet there were some under-educated brothers who thought it was weird if I expounded on a point in the book study. If you had a little secular knowledge or historical tid-bit that added or gave weight to the discussion, they still resented it. Go figure.

  To be perfectly honest, the attitude of the religion towards women and especially single or educated women is the foremost reason that I walked away from the religion. I wasn't having any of their garbage or disrespect. The faulty doctrines and the scandals were just icing on the cake that made it super-right that I felt the way I did.

  I was raised to have self-esteem even in my own dysfunctional family. I certainly wasn't going to let envious, uneducated people lower my status or cause me to hold a low opinion of myself. In effect, I would not be a willing accomplice to my own degradation. Yes, that is what it truly is: degradation. Some women there who are benefiting from the status quo won't see it this way but this is literally what is going on.

  I also find that now I cannot even be in the company of certain women there who I was friends with if I see that they are servile or cannot think for themselves or have no opinion of their own. I don't even want them around me.
• 

  mamochan13

  Great thread, Terry. Thanks. We really do need to constantly monitor our thinking and behaviour and root out the false doctrines and attitudes. That's what I find so helpful about this forum. Being able to read the truth and have all the inacurracies brought to the light of day cleans out the nonsense. University helped a great deal, too.

  I was born in, but my dad and many relatives were not JWs, so I think that helped me always realize that there were good people outside. I was also a rebel and pursued music and dance for myself and my daughters, in spite of being censured for it. I did a lot of reading, so I knew more about the religion itself than many of the elders. Perhaps that kept me a bit more open-minded. Although I did swallow most of the anti-science crap, I was open to learning other perspectives.

  I do see signs in my eldest daughter, however, that sometimes worry me, as she was about 13 when we left. She is very drawn to high-control groups and cult thinking (i.e. pyramid scams). I think it's because she has never replaced the thinking and has not critically examined the teachings. Self-esteem is a big issue for me and my girls as well. We've all been drawn into dysfunctional and abusive relationships, and a lot of that is rooted in the lack of value given to women in JWs.
• 

  tec

  (Huh, that's odd: I could've sworn I heard TEC speaking in here....)

  Nope. Not 'till this moment.

  Just someone speaking from the same spirit of understanding, in CHRIST.

  Peace,

  tammy