Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 07-15-2012 WT Study (STRAINED MARRAIGE)

by blondie 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • blondie
    blondie

    Comments You Will Not Hear at the 07-15-2012 WT Study (MAY 15, 2012, pages 8-12)(STRAINED MARRIAGE)

    Review comments will be headed by COMMENTS

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    TAKE A POSITIVE VIEW

    OF A STRAINED MARRIAGE

    “To the married people

    I give instructions,

    yet not I but the Lord.”

    —1 COR. 7:10.

    OPENING PICTURE: BLACK MAN AND WIFE IN NATIVE COSTUME; WOULD THE ELDERS ALLOW THEM TO WEAR THAT TO THE KH?

    OPENING COMMENTS

    I can say that out of my generation of pre-1975 married jws, over 50% are now on their 2 nd marriage. I grew up in a “divided household” and I see jw women leaving in droves, not staying the 25 years my mother did. I can remember the elders telling my mother that if she were a “better” wife her problems with my father would go away. And don’t believe the WTS here when they say it is your decision.

    START OF ARTICLE

    CAN YOU EXPLAIN?

    In what sense does God yoke

    marriage mates together?

    How can elders help Christians

    who have marital problems?

    How should we view marriage?

    START OF ARTICLE

    1. How do Christians view marriage, and why?

    WHEN Christians get married, they make a

    vow before God—a responsibility not to

    be taken lightly. (Eccl. 5:4-6) In the sense

    that he is the Originator of the marital arrangement,

    Jehovah has “yoked together” those united in wedlock.

    (Mark 10:9) This yoke exists in God’s sight regardless

    of the laws that sanctioned the wedding.

    Servants of Jehovah should view marriage as a binding

    arrangement whether they were his worshippers

    at the time of their wedding or not.

    COMMENTS

    Christians = only jws

    Baptism is a vow, marriage is a vow, yet getting married at 10 as a jw is severely frowned on by the WTS, but not baptism. Is marriage a lesser vow then?

    So if non-jws get married they are not responsible to the god of the bible, their marriage is not valid? Do non-jws have to get remarried when becoming jws as they are required to get rebaptized?

    Servants of Jehovah = only jws

    The religious aspect of marriage was more important to the WTS in that they allowed jws to marry and remarry that did not fulfill the laws of the country they lived in, those that did not allow divorce.

    ***True Peace book tp chap.13p.148par.16***

    What if the laws of a land do not allow any divorce, even on the ground of sexual immorality? An innocent mate in such a case might be able to obtain a divorce in a country where divorce is permitted. Circumstances, of course, may not allow for this. But some form of legal separation may be available in one’s own country and could be sought. Whatever the case, the innocent mate could separate from the guilty one and present definite proof of Scriptural ground for divorce to the overseers in the local congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses. What if that person were later to decide to take another mate? The congregation would not act to remove him as an adulterer if he provided the congregation with a written statement containing a vow of faithfulness to the present mate and an agreement to obtain a legal marriage certificate if the former marriage should be dissolved either legally or by death. Nevertheless, the individual would have to face whatever consequences might result as far as the world outside the congregation is concerned. For the world does not generally recognize that God’s law is superior to human laws and that human laws have only relative authority.—Compare Acts 5:29.

    *** w77 3/15 pp.183-184 par.31***

    “I, ......., do here declare that I have accepted .......... as my mate in marital relationship; that I have done all within my ability to obtain legal recognition of this relationship by the proper public authorities and that it is because of having been unable to do so that I therefore make this declaration pledging faithfulness in this marital relationship. I recognize this relationship as a binding tie before Jehovah God and before all persons, to be held to and honored in full accord with the principles of God’s Word. I will continue to seek the means to obtain legal recognition of this relationship by the civil authorities and if at any future time a change in circumstances makes this possible I promise to legalize this union.

    “Signed this .......... day of ........., 19..... Witnesses to my signing: .....................................”

    2. What questions will be considered in this article?

    2 A successful marriage can result in great happiness.

    But what can be done if the marital bond

    is strained? Can a weakened marriage be strengthened?

    What help is there for those whose marital

    peace is threatened?

    COMMENTS

    Amazingly, the marriages I saw that were most likely to be strained and end in divorce were elders…in fact, 4 in the last 2 years in the last congregation I attended. Hmmmm…………so do they teach by example?

    WILL IT BE A JOY OR A HEARTACHE?

    3, 4. What may happen if a person makes an unwise decision

    when choosing a marriage mate?

    3 When a Christian’s marriage succeeds, it is a

    joy and brings honor to Jehovah. If it fails, it is a

    heartache at best. An unmarried Christian who is

    contemplating wedlock is in a position to get marriage

    off to a fine start by following God’s guidance.

    On the other hand, a person who makes an unwise

    decision when choosing a husband or a wife may

    experience dissatisfaction and grief. For instance,

    some youths begin dating when they are not ready

    for the responsibilities associated with married life.

    Certain individuals find a prospective mate on the

    Internet and rush into what proves to be a very unhappy

    marriage. Others commit a serious sin during

    courtship and marry anyway, but

    they may begin their married life with

    little respect for each other.

    COMMENTS

    Christian’s marriage = only jws

    God’s guidance or WTS guidance? Remember this is the same god that allowed polygamy. And did not allow women to divorce their mates but allowed men to divorce wives for reasons other than adultery.

    Unwise decision = marry a non-jw

    Youths begin dating…not ready for married life---what age, 9, 13, 15? But old enough to get baptized?

    *** w01 5/15 p.19 par.11***

    Knowing when we are ready to marry is vital. Since this varies from one individual to another, the Scriptures do not stipulate an age. They do show, however, that it is better to wait until we are “past the bloom of youth,” when strong sexual impulses can distort good judgment. (1 Corinthians 7:36) “When I saw my friends dating and marrying, many in their teen years, it was at times difficult to apply this counsel,” says Michelle. “But I realized that the counsel is from Jehovah, and he tells us only what is for our benefit.

    4 Some Christians do not marry “only

    in the Lord” and suffer the often painful

    consequences of a religiously divided

    household. (1 Cor. 7:39) If that is

    your experience, pray for God’s forgiveness

    and help. He does not remove the

    effects of a person’s past errors, but he

    does assist repentant ones to cope with

    trials. (Ps. 130:1-4) Put your heart into

    pleasing him now and forever, and ‘the

    joy of Jehovah will be your stronghold.’

    —Neh. 8:10.

    COMMENTS

    So did Esther suffer when she married the Persian (non-Israelite) king; a marriage her family head, Mordecai, encouraged?

    Are they suggesting that Naomi’s sons died because they married non-Israelite women…or that they were unhappy….or they died childless because of god’s intervention?

    Most women married to non-jws that I knew were married to them before they became jws…should they think that they need God’s forgiveness; should they leave their spouses as Ezra encouraged the Israelite men to do, as well as send away the children?

    Who does have sin every day and need God’s forgiveness (per Christian thought)?

    And don’t forget Deut. 21:10-14 allowing marriage to unbelievers as opposed to Deut. 7:3,4 which talked only of Canaanites.

    WHEN MARITAL BONDS

    ARE THREATENED

    5. Regarding an unhappy marriage, what kind

    of thinking should be avoided?

    5 Those who experience heartache in

    the marital relationship may wonder: ‘Is

    my unhappy marriage really worth saving?

    If only I could turn back the clock

    and begin again with another marriage

    mate!’ They may dream of breaking the

    bond—‘Oh, to be free again! Why not get

    a divorce? Even if I cannot get a Scriptural

    divorce, why not separate and enjoy

    life again?’ Instead of thinking in those

    terms or fantasizing about what might

    have been, Christians should make the

    best of their current state by seeking

    God’s guidance and following it.

    COMMENTS

    What about abusive marriages? Or ones where one mate has reduced the family to poverty?

    At one point the WTS would not allow divorce on the grounds of homosexuality or bestiality but then reversed its edicts a few years later. If you had divorced before the reversal and remarried, been df’d, the df’ing would not be reversed.

    At one point, the congregation I was in had 3 separations, both jws and 2 elders…perhaps because they knew you could not be df’d for getting a separation.

    6. Explain what Jesus said, as recorded at Matthew

    19:9.

    6 If a Christian were to get a divorce,

    he or she may or may not be Scripturally

    free to get married again. Jesus said:

    “Whoever divorces his wife, except on

    the ground of fornication, and marries

    another commits adultery.” (Matt.

    19:9) Here, “fornication” includes adultery

    and other serious sexual sins. It

    is vital to weigh prayerfully any thought

    of divorce when neither mate has been

    guilty of sexual immorality.

    COMMENTS

    But one mate has to PROVE to the elders satisfaction that the grounds are scriptural. They have the power to interpret what is scriptural.

    *** tp chap.13 p.147 par.14***

    This is emphasized by the fact that he acknowledges only one proper basis for divorce. Jesus showed what this is: “Whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication [por·nei′a], and marries another commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:9; 5:32) Por·nei′a, as we have seen, refers to sexual relations outside of marriage, whether natural or unnatural.

    ----------what are sexual relations though, mutual masturbation, touching a breast (female but not male?), phone sex with a living person while masturbating? Does this clear it up? Some people think that the only purpose God had for sex was procreation.

    *** w11 11/1 p.5***

    Por·nei′a also refers to other acts that deviate from God’s original purpose in creating the human sexual organs, such as adultery, homosexuality, and bestiality.

    7. What may observers think if a Christian

    marriage fails?

    7 A failed marriage may cast doubt

    on one’s spiritual state. The apostle Paul

    raised this serious question: “If indeed

    any man does not know how to preside

    over his own household, how will

    he take care of God’s congregation?”

    (1 Tim. 3:5) In fact, when both mates

    profess to be Christians and yet their

    marriage fails, observers may think that

    such individuals do not really practice

    what they preach.—Rom. 2:21-24.

    COMMENTS

    So who will doubt a person’s spiritual state; is it automatic that both mates are responsible? But then the WTS is only worried about the man, the one who presides.

    So why would jws judge them without the facts, thinking they do not practice what they preach. What about David, he committed adultery, killed the woman’s husband to hide his capital sin under the Law, did the nation of Israel think he did not practice what he preached? Did god judge him, saving him from execution under the Law code?

    8. What must be wrong if Christian mates decide

    to part?

    8 When baptized marriage mates are

    planning to separate or to divorce each

    other on unscriptural grounds, something

    surely is spiritually wrong in their

    life. Scriptural principles are apparently

    not being applied by one partner or perhaps

    by both partners. If they were truly

    ‘trusting in Jehovah with all their heart,’

    there would be little reason for believing

    that they could not avoid a failed

    marriage.—Read Proverbs 3:5, 6.

    COMMENTS

    Unless the following occurs….but a means to separate or divorce, but not scripturally, not able to remarry.

    Where is the imperfection clause elders apply in their cases, that “scriptural principles are apparently not being applied.”

    *** w88 11/1 p.22 par.11***

    Extreme physical abuse is another basis for separation.

    Absolute endangerment of spirituality also provides a basis for separation.

    Willful nonsupport is one basis for separation.

    PICTURE: (Young white couple, she’s being a good wife topping off his coffee as he reads the paper…not even a WT magazine and she has bible and bookbag in hand on the way to the KH. So a strained marriage is going to be helped by pouring coffee?)

    Jehovah blesses Christian mates who make

    efforts to strengthen a strained marriage

    9. How have some Christians been rewarded

    for their patient efforts in connection with marriage?

    9 Many marriages that seemed to

    be headed for failure have in time

    turned out to be very successful. Christians

    who refuse to give up quickly on

    a difficult marriage often enjoy a fine

    reward. Consider what can happen

    in a religiously divided household. The

    apostle Peter wrote: “You wives, be in

    subjection to your own husbands, in order

    that, if any are not obedient to the

    word, they may be won without a word

    through the conduct of their wives, because

    of having been eyewitnesses of

    your chaste conduct together with deep

    respect.” (1 Pet. 3:1, 2) Yes, because of

    his mate’s fine conduct, an unbeliever

    may embrace the true faith! Such

    a saved marriage honors God and can

    be a great blessing for the husband,

    the wife, and any children they may

    have.

    COMMENTS

    So if they seemed headed for failure …was doubt cast on their spiritual state that scriptural principles were apparently not being applied?

    Won without a word…so is the wife responsible for her husband’s abuse because she is not a good enough wife?

    So why is the unbeliever always cast as the husband; are there no jw husbands with non-jw wives?

    10, 11. What unexpected problems may arise

    in a marriage, but of what may a Christian be

    certain?

    10 With a desire to please Jehovah,

    most single Christians choose dedicated

    fellow believers as marriage mates.

    Even then, however, circumstances may

    take an unexpected turn. On rare occasions,

    for example, a mate may develop

    serious emotional problems. Or some

    time after the wedding, a spouse may

    become an inactive publisher. To illustrate:

    Linda,* a zealous Christian and a

    devoted mother, watched helplessly as

    her baptized husband unrepentantly

    embarked on an unscriptural path and

    was disfellowshipped. What should a

    Christian do if his or her marriage bond

    seems hopelessly frayed for such a reason?

    *Names have been changed.

    COMMENTS

    So mental illness and being an inactive jw even being df’d are not grounds for the other jw mate to divorce. But how many on JWN were divorced by their mates for WTS nonscriptural grounds.

    11 ‘Must I keep on trying to save my

    marriage no matter what happens?’ you

    might ask. Nobody can or should make

    such a decision for you. Yet, there are

    sound reasons for not giving up on a

    marital bond that is weakening. The

    godly man or woman who endures the

    trials of a difficult marriage for the sake

    of conscience is precious to God. (Read

    1 Peter 2:19, 20.) By means of his Word

    and spirit, Jehovah will help a Christian

    who makes earnest efforts to strengthen

    a strained marriage.

    COMMENTS

    While the WTS says “nobody can or should make such a decision for you” “must I keep on trying to save my marriage no matter what happens” on what basis can other jws:

    So if they seemed headed for failure …was doubt cast on their spiritual state that scriptural principles were apparently not being applied?

    THEY ARE READY TO ASSIST

    12. How will the elders view us if we seek their

    help?

    12 If you face marital problems, do

    not hesitate to seek the spiritual assistance

    of mature Christians. The elders

    serve as shepherds of the flock and will

    gladly direct attention to the inspired

    Christians who do not give up quickly on a

    strained marriage often enjoy a fine reward

    counsel found in the Scriptures. (Acts

    20:28; Jas. 5:14, 15) Do not conclude

    that you and your mate will lose the respect

    of the elders if you seek spiritual

    assistance and discuss a serious marital

    problem with them. Their loving regard

    for you will increase as they see that you

    earnestly desire to please God.

    COMMENTS

    Mature Christians – the WTS does send women to older female jws

    How successful are the marriages of these elders; are they already on their 2 nd wife or in some cases 3 rd wife?

    Lose respect – but the WTS says they could be viewed that their spiritual state is weak and they apparently are not applying scriptures.

    13. What counsel is found at 1 Corinthians 7:

    10-16?

    13 When asked for help by Christians

    living in religiously divided households,

    elders refer to such counsel as that of

    Paul, who wrote: “To the married people

    I give instructions, yet not I but the

    Lord, that a wife should not depart from

    her husband; but if she should actually

    depart, let her remain unmarried or else

    make up again with her husband; and a

    husband should not leave his wife. . . .

    For, wife, how do you know but that

    you will save your husband? Or, husband,

    how do you know but that you

    will save your wife?” (1 Cor. 7:10-16)

    What a blessing it is when an unbelieving

    mate is won over to true worship!

    COMMENTS

    So a wife should stay but are husbands told to stay by elders?

    14, 15. When might a Christian spouse consider

    actually departing, but why is prayerful

    and honest consideration important?

    14 Under what circumstances might a

    Christian wife “actually depart”? Some

    have chosen to separate because of a

    mate’s willful nonsupport. Others have

    done so because of extreme physical

    abuse or the absolute endangerment of

    a Christian’s spirituality.

    COMMENTS

    But who judges that the husband is guilty of this, the wife, the elders? Does it matter whether the husband is a jw or not?

    15 Whether to depart or not is a personal

    decision. However, the baptized

    mate ought to give this matter prayerful

    and honest consideration. For example,

    has the unbeliever been totally responsible

    for the endangerment of spirituality,

    or has the Christian been negligent

    about Bible study, inconsistent in meeting

    attendance, and irregular in the

    ministry?

    COMMENTS

    Is it a personal decision, or will their spirituality be called into question?

    So how do the elders assign blame to the wife….since they are not under the roof to see how the non-jw husband acts?

    16. What should restrain Christians from making

    hasty decisions regarding divorce?

    16 The fact that we treasure our relationship

    with God and are grateful for

    his gift of marriage ought to restrain us

    from making hasty decisions regarding

    divorce. As servants of Jehovah, we are

    concerned about the sanctification of

    his holy name. Surely, then, we would

    never scheme to get out of one marriage

    while our heart is planning on another

    marriage.—Jer. 17:9; Mal. 2:13-16.

    COMMENTS

    So what is “hasty”? Who decides, the elders; it is one year, 2 years, 5 years….?

    Servants of Jehovah = jws, but why not Christians

    (Acts 11:26) . . .it was first in Antioch that the disciples were by divine providence called Christians.

    Sounds like too many jws are manipulating the WTS rules re divorce to marry a new spouse. Remember though that Ezra told the Israelite men to send away their non-jw wives and children (!).

    17. Under what circumstances could it be said

    that God has called married Christians to

    peace?

    17 A Christian who is married to an

    unbeliever should earnestly endeavor to

    keep the marriage bond intact. Yet, a

    Christian need not feel guilty if, despite

    the Christian’s sincere effort to preserve

    the union, an unbelieving mate refuses

    to remain with the believer. “If the

    unbelieving one proceeds to depart, let

    him depart,” wrote Paul. “A brother or a

    sister is not in servitude under such circumstances,

    but God has called you to

    peace.”—1 Cor. 7:15.*

    *See “Keep Yourselves in God’s Love,” pages 219-

    221; The Watchtower of November 1, 1988, pages 26-

    27; September 15, 1975, page 575.

    COMMENTS

    So the unbeliever can leave but not the abused jw wife? Who decides and how do they decide the effort is “sincere.”

    PICTURE: (Same woman outside KH with a couple talking to her)

    The Christian congregation can be a source of

    comfort and spiritual assistance

    HOPE IN JEHOVAH

    18. Even if it is not possible to save a marriage,

    what good may result from efforts to do so?

    18 When dealing with any marital

    problem, look to Jehovah for courage

    and always hope in him. (Read Psalm

    27:14.) Consider Linda, who was mentioned

    earlier. Her marriage eventually

    ended in divorce, although she had

    put many years of effort into trying to

    save it. Does she feel that she wasted

    her time? “Not at all,” she says. “My

    efforts gave a good witness to onlookers.

    I have a clear conscience. Best of all,

    those years helped our daughter to stay

    solidly in the truth. She grew up to be a

    zealous, dedicated Witness of Jehovah.”

    COMMENTS

    Put MANY years of effort…so what happened to make her decide to stop trying?

    Good witness – or a holy pretense?

    Did it teach her daughter rather to stay in an abusive marriage?

    But did she grow up to be a Christian?

    19. What may happen if efforts are made to

    save a marriage?

    19 A Christian woman named Marilyn

    is glad that she trusted in God and

    put forth extra effort to save her marriage.

    “I was tempted to separate from

    my husband because of financial nonsupport

    and spiritual endangerment,”

    she says. “Yet, my husband served as

    an elder before he got involved in some

    unwise business arrangements. He began

    missing meetings, and we simply

    stopped communicating. A terrorist attack

    in our city frightened me so much

    that I withdrew into a shell. Then I realized

    that I too was at fault. We started

    communicating again, resumed our

    family study, and became regular at

    meetings. The elders were kind and

    very helpful. Our marriage blossomed

    anew. In time, my husband again qualified

    for congregation privileges. It was a

    hard lesson with a happy outcome.”

    COMMENTS

    So no jw husbands as examples of staying in a bad marriage?

    What a happy ending…unwise business arrangements…missing meetings…she’s lucky he wasn’t like Christian Longo.

    So the elders hadn’t judged them spiritually weak?

    20, 21. With respect to marriage, what should

    we be resolved to do?

    20 Whether we are single or married,

    let us always act courageously and hope

    in Jehovah. If we are encountering marital

    difficulties, we should earnestly

    seek to resolve them, remembering that

    those united in wedlock are “no longer

    two, but one flesh.” (Matt. 19:6) And let

    us bear in mind that if we persevere in

    a divided household despite hardships,

    we may experience the joy of winning a

    mate over to true worship.

    COMMENTS

    How many jw men did you know had non-jw wives?

    21 Regardless of our circumstances,

    may we be resolved to walk circumspectly

    in order to have a fine testimony

    from observers outside the congregation.

    If our marriage is threatened, let us

    pray intensely, scrutinize our motives

    honestly, consider the Scriptures carefully,

    and seek the spiritual assistance

    of the elders. Above all, may we be determined

    to please Jehovah God in all

    things and show real appreciation for

    his wonderful gift of marriage.

    COMMENTS

    So how much abuse should a jw spouse submit to be a “fine testimony”?

    Who will be scrutinizing our motives?

    A failed marriage may cast doubt

    on one’s spiritual state.

    When baptized marriage mates are

    planning to separate or to divorce each

    other on unscriptural grounds, something

    surely is spiritually wrong in their

    life. Scriptural principles are apparently

    not being applied by one partner or perhaps

    by both partners.

    CONCLUDING COMMENTS

    Remember that Charles Taze Russell’s marriage did not go well. J.F. Rutherford lived separately from his wife for years until his death. He lived in California at Beth Sarim while his wife lived in California just miles away from him under a separate roof. No mention was made of her in the publications post 1950 until 1993, 31 years after her death. I wonder if some thought he was not presiding well over his household?

    *** jv chap.7 p.76***

    Brother Rutherford had a severe case of pneumonia after his release from unjust imprisonment in 1919. Thereafter, he had only one good lung. In the 1920’s, under a doctor’s treatment, he went to San Diego, California, and the doctor urged him to spend as much time as possible there. From 1929 on, Brother Rutherford spent the winters working at a San Diego residence he had named Beth-Sarim.

    *** jv chap. 7 p.89***

    Brother Rutherford was survived by his wife, Mary, and their son, Malcolm. Because Sister Rutherford had poor health and found the winters in New York (where the Watch Tower Society’s headquarters were located) difficult to endure, she and Malcolm had been residing in southern California, where the climate was better for her health. Sister Rutherford died December 17, 1962, at the age of 93. Notice of her death, appearing in the Monrovia, California, DailyNews-Post, stated: “Until poor health confined her to her home, she took an active part in the ministerial work of Jehovah’s Witnesses.”

  • bobld
    bobld

    Thanks, Blondie!

    Yeah right go to the elders if you have problems.What qualifications do they have.

    They are the last persons on earth that I would go to.

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    Thanks for reading through and commenting on this crap, Blondie.

    Unfortunately, we didn't make it to our meeting today

  • PrincessPeachz
    PrincessPeachz

    This makes me feel a bit unwell - my ex-husband living with me, the unbeliever, made no 'endeavour' to keep the marriage bond intact, in fact it turned him into even more of an unsupportive, chauvanistic bastard! Yet he got to be the one they all fawned over and felt sorry for, as his 'bad unbelieving wife' left him. Ugh. So glad still that I left!

    "17. Under what circumstances could it be said

    that God has called married Christians to

    peace?

    17 A Christian who is married to an

    unbeliever should earnestly endeavor to

    keep the marriage bond intact. Yet, a

    Christian need not feel guilty if, despite

    the Christian’s sincere effort to preserve

    the union, an unbelieving mate refuses

    to remain with the believer. “If the

    unbelieving one proceeds to depart, let

    him depart,” wrote Paul. “A brother or a

    sister is not in servitude under such circumstances,

    but God has called you to

    peace.”—1 Cor. 7:15.*"

  • blondie
    blondie

    Sorry, Princess. I call that the Eve Syndrome. Though the WTS artifically puts the blame on Adam, jws in general blame the "wicked" wife for any problems in the marriage. My mother was an abused wife and it took 20 years and a doctor's note for her to be able to leave. Even then many sisters felt she had not done enough. I'm glad you found the strength to leave and stay away.

    Love, Blondie

  • Quarterback
    Quarterback

    Thanks, Blondie.

    I thought that this WT article really added salt to the wounds of the many who had no choice but to leave an abusive relationship. The article made it seem that such ones had to give it more time and put up with the abuse.

    Such a sad state.

  • FreeGirl2006
    FreeGirl2006

    With award-winning advice like "You and (ex) hubby need to take a long weekend away from the children" in response to my complaint that the (ex) hubby never wanted sex and nary a Bible in sight--yeah that inspires confidence that the Elders can help with marital issues. I left the room shortly after this stupid counsel.

    Or the other classic I was told "If you had not gone back to work after you married, your family would be in better shape spiritually." I asked that Elder if he was volunteering to pay our bills since (ex) hubby was out of work and I was the sole breadwinner.

    So what are the Elders qualified to help with exactly?

  • NOLAW
    NOLAW
    Certain individuals find a prospective mate on the Internet and rush into what proves to be a very unhappy marriage.
    Others commit a serious sin duringcourtship and marry anyway, but they may begin their married life with little respect for each other.

    Can you provide statistics? If not SHUT UP!

    What serious sin and why does it imply that they will have little respect for each other? For the only serious sin that is commited is that you want to stick your d**k in every minute detail of one's personal life and impose your p*i*k laws. Can you provide us a single scripture to support your 'legally married' bullshit. Show us from the Bible a single marriage ceremony talk. Bastards you force the couple to go through a pagan marriage ceremony. You promote satanic practices. Now take your pr*** and stick it where it belongs to.

    NOLAW

  • EmptyInside
    EmptyInside

    They seemed to make it appear that it was those mainly married to unbelievers who had problems. When,most of the break-ups I know,married other Witnesses

    I also see Witnesses resentiing their unbelieving mates. They complain about them out in service,and even in comments they make at the meetings.

    Well,in my mother's hall alone, there are three seperations right now.

    Blondie,you mentioned how many JW men were married to unbelievers. My old congregation had three men married to unbelievers. I found it rare,because it seems it's mainly the women married to non-believers.

    I also noticed how they had to throw in a dig about meeting on-line and rushing into marriage. I find Witnesses generally rush into marriage. And it's mainly because, the elders and others in the congregation, put pressure on them.

    They did bring out about one marriage mate having emotional problems. I have seen this a lot. Some have ignored the signs of mental health issues before the wedding and lived to regret it. I know one young Witness man who married a woman with bi-polar. He thought their love could deal with anything. But,he wasn't married to her long. And a couple years ago he was remarried. I don't know all the details though.

    But,it's a problem. There are some Witnesses that are beyond the general Witness strangeness. It's hard to explain,but you really have to take the time to get to know a person.

  • JW GoneBad
    JW GoneBad

    Watchtower Study meetings are becoming more and more like AA (Alcoholoics Anonymous) meetings. Meetings or therapeutic sessions run by and for people with problems, where the commentors and participants in attendance are there to cope with their problems.

    In the case of the last two WT Study lessons, the meetings have been about divorce, separation and strained marriages with most if not many of those commenting and participating have actually been divorced, separated or are experiencing a serious strain in their marriage. (LOL!)

    Just another day in Watchtarded Land!

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