That went pretty well, I think...

by SixofNine 10 Replies latest jw friends

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  SixofNine

  Just got off the phone with an elder who called to set up a meeting with me.

  My hands are a bit shakey, but I'm settling down and feeling better, all in all. The elder had left messeges this weekend (I was out of town), and I had heard from my mother a week previous that they were going to come gunning for me. Between my inability to come up with a proactive plan to deal with that, and a couple of other things going on in my life, I have been in an anxiety attack for the last two days.

  When I saw who was on the line this evening, I hesitated, but went ahead and answered. Figured I'd wing it. I answered nicely, and when he asked if we could get together (along with bro budda), I asked what the purpose of the meeting would be. He stumbled a bit, but said that it would be a shepherding call, they were concerned *cough*, and uh...also, they had heard that I might have some doubts and concerns, and they would like to answer if they could.

  I replied that "I appreciated their concern, but I thought that I would just deal with it on my own for the time being' (*thanks megadude, that was simple). I realized I hadn't even gotten in a subtle dig, so I reiterated my reply, adding that "I've dealt with it on my own for 1.5 years, so I think for now I'll continue to deal with it alone."

  He again said that they were truly concerned about me, and I think he said that if anything changed to let him know. I voiced to him that I would do so, and told him I believed him that they cared about me (although in truth, it is a bit hard to believe, especially about bro budda. In fact, in his case, any care he has for me is only on principle, and who needs that).

  I don't know if I caught him by surprise, or if they really don't care to chase me down and slap a label on me. Our elder body is a bit famous for being do nothings, so maybe that extends to witch hunting as well. In any case, I was a bit surprised. On the other hand, the old school side of this body is a foul lot, and the young'ns might have some energy in them, so I likely have not seen the end of this.
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  siegswife

  I hope you're right and they leave you alone. Maybe you should start trying to formulate that plan...
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  25ashitaka25

  Nice...you were calm and you shut him down. It's worked for me, too....mostly.

  I hope things go better for you. I always get nervous around them still, too. Doesn't it suck?

  ashi
• 

  Scully

  Sounds like you're off the hook for now, buddy. Congratulations!

  Love, Scully

  
  
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  mommy

  ((((((SIXO)))))) I am glad you feel okay about the convo. Tough call on if this is really over or not. My sister was recently publicly reproved after not attending for over a year. She willingly met with them, after getting her call from out of the blue. Of course she is studying again I know you are way to smart for that though.

  I think it should be mandatory that if you study with the JW's you must also study with a 3rd party out of the same literature. Just to keep a balance. Where that came from I don't know(thinking aloud again) Oh yeah and I am sure I am near my posting limit for the day and want to get as much talk in as possible.

  Wow way to run away with a thread huh? Geeez sorry I am outta here now.

  Smooch
  wendy
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  hillary_step

  Six,

  Do not worry uduly. The WTS is on a campaign at present to try to re-activate those lost sheep who have wandered of into happyland.

  This is just a standard procedural visit and not to with you as an individual. My advise is to listen appreciatively, give them coffee, thank them for their interest and tell them that you are trying to get things together and will be in touch. They will leave you alone for another year or so.

  Think of them as mutual fund salesmen who are basically nice people but need to get the message out in order to get paid.

  Best to you - HS
• 

  wasasister

  I make it a habit to spend inclement Saturday mornings away from home. From personal experience, that is when the elders in cargroups make "shepherding visits"...in order to find an alternative to walking door-to-door in the rain.

  There's usually a book or music store open at 10am.

  Hang in there, Bud!
• 

  SixofNine

  Thanks Guys.

  Unfortunately, I've been a weeeeeeee bit too vocal, Hillary. I think these guys are hoping to sell an annuity.
• 

  rem

  Six,

  Sounds like you handled it well! Boy do I know about being shakey after talking to elders or JW friends about the reasons we don't attend meetings and stuff. I just spoke to a JW workmate about it today and I got all nervous. WHY??!! It's like I feel like I have to explain things all delicately and I get these weird butterflies in my stomach - and I'm already disassociated. What do I have to fear? Very strange. I remember my wife talking to her mother over the phone about me and my doubts - I got so shakey I couldn't believe it - and I wasn't even doing any of the talking.

  Hopefully they will leave you alone, man. An elder and a sister came by my house this weekend to see if my wife "feels the same way" that I do. Fortunately she was gone. Hopefully they will just give up. It's so annoying and I'm not the type to tell them to hit the road and never come back.

  Good luck, bud!

  rem

  "We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking." - Mark Twain
• 

  DB

  Six, that did indeed seem to go fairly well. However, what happens from here on in depends upon several factors, including how dogged this group of elders in going to be about supposedly "shepherding" you. As you said, if they are generally a 'do nothing' bunch, they may indeed leave you be. Or, it may be possible that they will check back, especially if the CO comes through and notices (normally by checking cong. records). But for now, yes, that did seem to go well.