by Chemical Emotions 54 Replies latest jw friends
Now how about you going to my thread about my son Joshua and give me the pleasure of your vast knowledge about parenting an autistic child? I'm still waiting.
And if you're confused, that was sarcasm.
That (along with your 'no practical experience' comment imo) is kinda rude. I am being really rather polite to you and you simply will not stop attacking me.
Chemical Emotions,
Since you clearly stated you are not a parent, your observations are bullshit. I've raised 4 children and each one is different, but I've never used corporal punishment on any of them, and they are all adults, well, prospering, happily married and have given me 8 beautiful grandchildren.
A non-parent gets different results from children than a parent. Children will try to "work" or "play" a non-parent, but would never consider doing that with a parent who is consistent with the rules and enforces them. Trust me, children are masters at playing people when they can get away with it. I was.
Go to your room.
Farkel
I said I had little experience dealing with kids. I was asking for opinions and advice. I wanted to learn HOW to treat kids, not share all my knowledge. If you see my comments on here, I did not attempt to pretende that I know a lot. I know that I am not knowledgable. That's WHY I ASKED THIS QUESTION. Please don't say my observations are BS. Please.
And yes, I've been with very disobedient kids who listened to me more than their parents simply because I wasn't their parent and was more of a playmate or thought they could manipulate me in some way. I know that. That doesn't mean that I know nothing about dealing with kids. It means I know nothing about PARENTING. Which I've admitted.
Sorry for all the blank posts. I was in Florida for a week on a strange computer. Now I'm in NC on a computer that I think actually works.
Basically what I was saying from experience (after 4 kids who love us to death), is that "corporal punishment", not slapping a kid around, is only one tool in the disciplenary toolbox. It is extremely effective when used for the right reason (only for defiance) and in the right way (i.e. the whys and hows of spanking)
I learned on my first son...thru trials of disobedience and anger...then I read an article that cleared everything up....when I learned the specifics of how to spank effectively.
My second son only defied me twice, (apparently the second time constituted a judgment error on my part) my daughter once and my third son - never.
Hope this proves not to be another blank.
MrsJ, sounds like Joshua's meltdown got handled pretty well. If my oldest is having a meltdown, we direct him to his room. Thankfully, they are not as frequent as they used to be and not a danger to himself or those around him. (Mine are a danger to me.) And none of them have ever required restraint *except* at school one time, and I still don't know WTF happened there. It bothers me a bit.
I hope you didn't perceive my post prior to yours about Joshua's meltdown to be judgmental in any way. I'm sorry if that's the case. It wasn't intended that way. When I said "there is always a trigger" and "what did you do to trigger it" it wasn't to finger point or blame anyone. It was merely a statement of fact and a question intended to provoke thought. And I wasn't thinking of games being the trigger (same in our house, as well). I was thinking of a school situation where something an adult did triggered the meltdown because the adult didn't understand the kid and didn't understand how to work with them. (If the adult is understanding and seeks to TRULY help, they will remember what works best to get the kid to cooperate. You know? I may not be articulating myself well. But anyway, not a parent/child situation but more of an other adult/child situation. Someone who doesn't know the kid as well as mom and dad do.)
I found myself rather irritated by this whole topic of discipline, started by someone who, apparently, has no kids. I'm all about learning, but in order to learn, you must be open minded enough to try and understand the viewpoint opposite of yours. You know? Anyway, my thoughts didn't quite flow in the manner I expected them to. Slightly frustrating. :) I apologize.
