Divorce: Are 'Worldly' People More Ethical?

by metatron 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  metatron

  Divorce is not, by nature, something pleasant or 'nice' in general. That said, I do wonder if there is a trend in the world that transcends the "truth".

  I can hardly read anything biographical these days without encountering someone who has gone thru an amicable divorce - at least, amicable in the outcome, anyway. They may 'still be friends' and simply come to see it as another step in their personal evolution. I think this is especially true if they have good careers or assets to fall back on.

  The above, however flawed, seems unknown in my experience in the organization. Everyone 'takes sides' and hate flows freely - as does outright slander - that the elders commonly do nothing about. If you made a list of typically 'Satanic' qualities of lying and hate and wishing ill, you couldn't find a better example in most Witness divorces. Perhaps it's the price of trying to force people to stay together.

  In recent years, we keep seeing examples of how Witnesses are 'falling behind' in morality - as with failing to fight child sexual abuse - until the law forced them into it, following from behind on racism and civil rights, their treatment of 'dissidents' or in regard to divorce related conduct...... and I could add fraud in regard to their false prophecies about Armageddon in contrast to what most companies are permitted to say about future revenues!

  metatron
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  Finkelstein

  In evaluating the descriptive word worldly, you could find that easily and clearly in many of the divorces among JWS.

  There is always a pressing game within the JW social community of who is evil, who is worldly, who is being unrighteous and so on.

  This usually gets accentuated during a divorce to a greater level.

  Even in a JW divorce the gloves come off and its all about leveraging the fault and guilt onto to other party, something that

  most indoctrinated JWS are well practiced on.
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  Simon Morley

  I believe the divorce rate amongst dubs is no more or less that that of the rest of the world in general. being a dub is no protection, hence the recent inane drama at the DC. Use the downtrodden women to force them to keep their marriages together.

  Recently, my doctor who retired stated that amongst his dub patients there were more that were having some form of marital problems than those of other religions. The one he felt had it most together - the Jews.
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  keyser soze

  I think as a rule JWs tend to get divorced for more extreme reasons. It is a frequent occurrence in 'the world' for married couples to get divorced simply because they fall out of love with each other. It is much easier to remain on good terms when this is the case. With a few exceptions, JWs don't split up for this reason, because they are encouraged to stay together at all costs. As a rule, it takes something far more significant.
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  Simon Morley

  KS: Good point. So the actual rate would likely be higher if the threshold for the pain was lowered?
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  MrFreeze

  No they aren't more ethical. We just like to bring it out about JW's because there are such strict guidelines and they pretend to have the happiest families.
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  keyser soze

  So the actual rate would likely be higher if the threshold for the pain was lowered?

  Exactly. The majority of JW married couples I've known personally had no business being married in the first place. Their only common denominator was that they were both JWs, and would never have been together in the real world. They were brainwashed into believing this was the only thing necessary to make their marriage strong. Imagine what the divorce rate would be if they split up simply because they realized they didn't have anything else in common with their mate.
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  Simon Morley

  KS: Sad, no wonder many run to dull the reality they are in with prescription drugs and anti depressants. For a group of people that are to be the happiest on the face of the earth, reality says otherwise. I know my wife and I have a much better realationship post dubdom. Especially now she is not a dubdame!
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  Giordano

  "U.S. Religious Landscape Survey 2008" by The Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life surveyed 35,000 people and presents findings on divorce/separation rates. (http://religions.pewforum.org/reports as at April 20 2008) The following graph from the report shows the Witness rate of 14% was slightly above the U.S. average of 12%.
  
  JW's divorce for a lot of the usual reasons, but also for some extra reasons. They marry too early in many cases. They often had no prior dating experience and certainly little to no sex and people do become curious. Theocratic duties that rob family time can create tension and frustration. Many are angry, depressed, unhappy living the witness life. They have changed and grown but the Society has not.

  When a witness divorces there has to be a rule breaking reason and one person is going to be blamed so the congregation targets that person.
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  JWOP

  I heard an elder once say that, when a couple divorces, it's because at least one of the spouses wasn't following Bible principles. I suppose this is true, but not in the way he meant it.