1) Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2) In A hostage situation you are likely to be
released first.
3) No one expects you to run anywhere.
4) People call at 9PM (or 9Am) and ask, did
I wake you?
5) People no longer view you as A Hypochondriac.
6) There is nothing left to learn the hardway.
7)Things you buy now won,t wear out.
8) You can eat supper at 4PM
9) You can live without sex, but not your glasses.
10) You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
11) You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter
who walks into the room.
12) You sing along with elevator muisic.
13) Your investment in heatlh insurance is finally
beginning to pay off.
14) Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
than the national weather services.
15) Your secrets are safe with your friends because
they can,t remerber them either.
And finally, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER under any circumstance,
take A sleeping pill and A laxative on the same nite.