The real truth is that you know you've recovered when you stop caring about JW's

by gubberningbody 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • Twitch
    just keeping in touch with a part of 'who you were'.


  • jemba

    Although well into recovery I still have flare ups of anger, hurt or frustration at something that reminds me of my 37 years stuck in the cult.

    You cant just turn off a lifetime of involvement in anything overnight. It used to BE my life.

    I now follow the JWs beliefs in a positive way, Im still learning about ways the GB have scammed us, Im still learning to turn off my automatic reactions to situations. Many of us come here as we unlearn the JW way and learn to live life without it controlling us.

    This site is an amazing support to many people, being here helps us see how far we have come and how good our lives are with this freedom we have away from the org.

    As Flipper said, many of us have family still in, its good to keep educated on the direction the org takes and be ready to catch those who are ready to leave.

    You might be an expert in the field of War or Homicide, it doesnt mean you like those things but with the information you learn you can help others and you find it interesting to study. Same us many of us ex-JWs who continue to research the org.

    Its even more interesting to be involved with the JW religion from the outside than it ever was to be stuck inside.

  • gubberningbody

    It's clear we're all different, but as a person who was a pioneer for 15 years, a servant for ten and an elder for 16 years who started out as Catholic, then atheist, then JW, then agnostic-JW, then agnostic-I-think-I'll never-know, I feel I've moved past the squabble of JW's recognizing this one to be personal, but then again just another in an endless series of squabbles that different people according to the experience, experience.

    BTW the reason anyone continues visiting or revisiting a web site is a function of how much of themselves they've poured into the site. I suspect a bit of loss avoidance, rather than gain.

    With this site, for me on further reflection at 3:14 am, it has to do with the unique experiences we as JW's had that are simply not relatable to anyone who's not had a similar experience.

  • ambersun

    I can never stop caring for a very good reason. Whenever I look a my lovely young JW nephews and nieces with their lives ahead of them, yet not being able to think for themselves or get an acceptable career other than pioneering, and with the sure knowledge that one day they will hit retirement age with no pension and maybe realise too late that it was all a sham,

    I want to yell at them to wake up and smell the coffee! Yet I can't do that without ringing their apostate warning bells.

    I HAVE to keep caring so I can be there if any one of them DOES wake up and needs their dotty old aunt who would know only too well what they were going through. Maybe for that reason alone it is good if I never fully recover.

  • sizemik

    I feel a bit of an obligation . . . I don't mind admitting it.

    I knew quite a number who took their own lives. Two in particular, I could never forget them if I tried. Sam . . . a teenage kid with unbelievable talents and a heart of gold. I grew to love him like a son . . . even though I have 3 of my own.

    The other was Phil, my best friend. He's still the finest human being I've met. For a man of such humor, intelligence and strength to go like that means he was dealing with some real serious shit believe me.

    I'm ex-JW, always will be. I can't cure cancer, make the deaf hear, or restore sight . . . I don't know how. But being JW is something I do know about . . . I know it as well as anybody. And if there's another Sam or Phil somewhere I want to know and be involved . . . because I believe I can offer something of value. It's not guilt or anything . . . it's because I can, and it feels right. "Phils" and "Sams" arrive here regularly . . . I have quite a few ex-JW friends aroung the country. Helping out in some small way makes me feel good.

    The contributions from some of the more intellectual posters and deeper thinkers on this site I wouldn't have missed for the world either. I think the negativity we carry as ex-JW's belies the real value of how some have responded to "the change" . . . but some are asking the right questions, and getting the right answers. Being among an ex-JW community has been one of the most positive, stimulating and productive things I've done in recent times . . . why ditch it?

    I question the validity of "moving on" in a total sense, as being necessarily healthy . . . since you've gotta let something die to do it. Doesn't sound like much of a recovery.

  • Hermano

    Guess it depends on how deeply you were impacted and whether or not you still have loved ones who are or may be impacted....

    And then of course, some people just want to help others.

  • Hermano

    Guess it depends on how deeply you were impacted and whether or not you still have loved ones who are or may be impacted....

    And then of course, some people just want to help others.

  • blondie

    I wonder if Steve Hassan knows this. I wonder why he wrote 2 books and still continues helping people. I wonder why Ray Franz did the same. Were or are they flawed emotionally. I'm sure there are qualified professionals that know while the jw aspect lessens, it is not healthy to think it will go away.

  • wasblind

    When I was recieving radiation treatment for a non- cancerous tumor

    as I sat waitin' to be called.

    There were volunteers there who would make the patients comfortable

    talk to them or simply hold their hand for encouragement if needed

    Who were these volunteers ??? cancer survivors, yes, they chose to

    return to a place where most would like to forget

    I for one am glad she was there for those who were in need


  • MrFreeze

    Recovered? That's a bullshit word. I'm not even sure what that would entail for an ex-cult member. You might think you've completely forgotten about it but there is always some piece that stays with you. I'd like to think that working out issues revolving around being a JW involves a sort of half-life. Little by little it goes away, but it will never really be gone.

    And wasblind, that was a very profound post on the matter.

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