Did You Feel Truly Loved By The Witnesses?

by minimus 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • LongHairGal


    I was loved for a few years because I was young and was in the "love bombed" phase. I was invited everywhere, people smiling and kind, etc.

    But, it all disappeared like a fart in the wind and I started having one rude awakening after another. Slowly, it became apparent that all this "love" was conditional and based on my "works" or what they could get out of me. Since they couldn't exploit me, they had no use for me. It is all fine, really, because it helped me to "fade" better when I decided I could tolerate no more of it.

  • tec

    I only did a study, but I was loved by the woman who studied with me. Even after I stopped (and she was so hurt and sad for me, I felt awful), she remained in contact with me. She said she didn't care what i believed. I lost her contact information when I lost my internet provider last year, and she had just moved, so I lost everything. But I hope to speak with her again.

    As for the rest, when I want to one meeting (the memorial), I did not feel loved. Not that it would have felt real or anything having just met the people. But I did not even feel welcome by a few. Some 'sizing up' looks, and one woman had... hmm... 'hostility/suspicion'?... in her eyes. Judgmental I guess would be the feeling I got from her, and a couple others. Then there were the 'unfortunates' I called them. A man, woman, and child... skinny, clothes hanging off them, unkempt and a haunted look about them... sitting in the back at the back room. I think they were newly learning, perhaps this was there only hope. Looking back, I also wonder if they weren't df'd trying to get reinstated. They weren't happy. They were very somber, haunted, no smiles.



  • MC RubberMallet
    MC RubberMallet

    I did, because I was always considered the go-to elder. I loved the friends. They loved me back. It was never about pushing organizational rules, or appearing spiritual, but love.

    I never did shepherding calls in a suit. I'd dignify the brother/sister and wear clean pants and nice shirt, but we are a family. I tried to be a real friend. If something was wrong, there was no need to show up looking like a business man.

    I always kept letters of introduction brief and NEVER gave out info of a persons disfellowshipping or reproof (if either was lifted) no matter how recent. It was forgiven by Jehovah, why bring it back up, I reasoned.

    Many other rules and instructions never flew with me. Ironically, that's why I've always felt genuine love of the friends.

    I haven't been to a meeting/service in a few weeks. I left cold turkey. The friends likely assume I have an assigment somewhere.

    It isn't official word I'm an apostate in the congregation yet. I will see in time if it the love is real or not...

  • Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

    Love? Hell to the nizzo!

    Contempt? You betcha!

    I'm a born-in and the conned-green-nation never love-bombed me; oh and I'm a woman so I guess I wasn't worth the effort either.

  • Nambo

    Dont you know its the identifying mark of the true religion, "Love amongst yourselves".

    And dont forget Jesus parable of the Lost Sheep!

    I live 1 mile from 5 Kingdom Halls, and since falling away, initially from depression, and bare in mind I still belive in God and believed they where the true religion for a further 10 years, and continued to go to the Memorial, I have had one Elder call around, by accident, since 1996.

    Thats the religion for you.

    Individuals though are another thing, some of the best folk I ever met where Witnesses, and I do miss them so, thats probably one of the reasons I hang around here, I love you guys.

  • mamalove

    Yes in general I did. Sure there were some that rubbed me the wrong way, but when I was in, most were pretty nice and tried. Most were born ins who had little outside experience. I had a fun bunch of friends. When I quit going to meetings, it all changed.

  • mercedes_29

    I did until I until they turned on me.

  • sseveninches

    Not really...I'd say JWs are worse than "wordly" people. They don't call, text, email, or anything else to show that they just want to see how I'm doing. They use the excuse of "oh I'll see him at the next meeting" to not contact me. I'm a nice person, and do say a genuine Hello to everyone in the hall, but they only use my nice-ness to their advantage. It was a mistake letting people think that I'm technically inclined...people just contact me to help with their computer problems, and after that I never hear from them again, with some rare exceptions.

  • mynameislame

    How can you have any feelings for someone when you fear losing them at any time due to disfellowshipping. After leaving I discovered that I missed the people that were considered weak more than I missed the people that I actually called my friends. Such a judgmental group of people, at least in my congregation. I can't tell you how much time we spent gossiping about other people. If I had felt any love I probably would have stayed.

  • Nambo

    "I discovered that I missed the people that were considered weak more than I missed the people that I actually called my friends. "

    Same with me Lame,

    I used to organise social events to try and get the "weak ones" more involved, and then the strong ones would say, "why did you invite them along, you should stick to the Pioneers", ( theres Christian LOve for you, I wonder which group really had more of it?).

    I feel quite touched that some of those weak ones would seek incouragement from me rather than the more "Spiritual ones", and I feel I let them down when I moved away to try and salvage my own Spirituality.

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