Have you ever been falsely accused or blamed?

by Fernando 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • Fernando

    Read this on the internet today:

    "Within Jungian psychology there is a concept known as The Shadow. Most of us encounter our own shadows in the form of projection. That is to say, we disown the characteristics and behaviors we cannot stand about ourselves and project them onto others. We then insist that they carry our shadow for us and may even punish them for the things we hate about ourselves. One example of this might be a minister who openly despises gays while privately engaging in closeted homosexual activity.

    Those who cannot accept their shadow will reject it in favor of embracing their Persona. The persona is the idealized image we present of who we really are. And still ... The Shadow Knows when we are lying to ourselves and those around us. The shadow contains our every fear, our every terror, it knows our every truth -- especially the ones we can't stand to face about ourselves."

    Does this fit in some way with your accuser/s?

    Can you see them being guilty of what they have falsely accused you of, or blamed you for?

  • Morbidzbaby

    I used to think the answer to that was no. Now I'm not so sure. I've been accused of some pretty heinous things that are simply not true. And a part of me wonders if the accuser themselves are not the guilty one.

  • ohiocowboy

    Fernando, What you have written is the truth! I have seen it happen several times. Here is a personal example:

    Even though I have dated a Black Lady, then dated a Mulatto Lady who had Mulatto Children, have been intimate with people of many different skin tones, have donated to the NAACP and other Orgs, have been sponsoring children through Children International for 10 years-(None of whom were/are White), live in a neighborhood that is only 7% White, have advocated and sent letters approving of Herman Cain as President, been in business with a Black Lady and a Lady from Mexico, have signed several petitions against racial injustices, etc. I have still been accused by a few people of being racist (IN NO WAY am I mentioning any people in particular on this or any other website). When I have looked back, I have noticed that many of those same people who have done the accusing are having issues in their own lives, so they project their own insecurities onto others, hoping that all eyes will be taken off of them.

    So, in answer to your question, Yes, I have seen it happen, not only to myself, but others. It really sucks to get blamed for something you are not or have not done. I used to let it bother me, but since realizing that the problem often lies with the accusers, I try to take it with a grain of salt, and find myself pitying them instead. Besides that, the people who really know me, know that the accusations are not true anyways, so it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

  • wasblind

    Alot of that is projected when folks no longer want to be part of the WTS

    other JW's say they left because they want to do worldy things not because of doctrine

    The very ones accussin' those of leavin' for worldy things are the ones that desire

    those things themselves

  • ohiocowboy

    One example of this might be a minister who openly despises gays while privately engaging in closeted homosexual activity.

    This reminds me of high School. There were two guys who would constantly call me Queer, Fag, etc, and stick post it notes on my back, such as "Kick me, I'm Gay" and "I c***m my jeans for a muscular man", and they would try to act all macho around school. They used to constantly hang around each other, but I never really thought much about it. About 6 years later, I was visiting my hometown-(in the meantime having lost weight, grew a mustache, and changed my wardrobe), and while I was walking from the beach, this maroon van pulls up and this guy asks me if I wanted to Blankety Blank Blank. I recognized the guy right away as one of the guys who used to taunt me. I was soooo tempted to remind him who I was, but I just ignored him. I later found out that him and the other guy had been bonking each other for years.

    Even though I really am Gay, it reminds me of how hypocritical they were. They taunted me about being Gay so that people wouldn't put two and two together about their own Gayness.

    Us Humans can be interesting creatures!!!

  • tec

    Yes, and yes I have noticed that. When I have been accused of something falsely... and also when I have seen friends accuse others of things that they, themselves, did. I had a friend many years ago who used to lose it on her boyfriend if he so much as smiled at another woman... and yet she was the one cheating on him, on multiple occassion. SMH.



  • wasblind

    As Shakespear said " Doth protest to much " that's a red flag

  • trebor

    I'm willing to wager that the majority of those who have left the Watchtower have been falsely accused. Personally, I had accusations of being too "prideful" or/and "haughty" for leaving 'The Organization'.

    After all, this is what the Watchtower Society teaches of those who leave, is it not?

    My reply to the accusations was quite simple:

    It is an overwhelming humble and humiliating experience to realize that I was so wrong about so many things for so many years and having to admit it to myself and feeling the need to apologize to the many people I encountered, cut-off, or tried to prove their beliefs were 'wrong' and mine were 'right'.

  • Las Malvinas son Argentinas
    Las Malvinas son Argentinas

    One of the elders who was on the judicial committee that disfellowshipped me had aggressively courted me in the past. I went on one 'date' with him, and quickly found that there was no connection with this man. He forced a kiss on me when he dropped me off, which I still reel from when I think about it. Since I didn't kick him between his legs or slap/push him, he must have taken that for a 'yes, we're together now'. So the very next day my mother congratulates me on my new 'relationship'. We had a meeting that night, and so he goes straight up to me, takes my hand, and leads me to where I was to sit with him. Everyone knew we were 'together', and I just wanted to throw up. So I was forced into the unenviable position of 'breaking up' with someone I wasn't even with to begin with. His family then accused me of leading him on and of being a loose woman.

    So there he pops up again, on the judicial committee. Not to my surprise, he was the one who asked all the dirty questions. I could almost see him getting aroused while talking about it. I didn't play his game and refused to go into details. They knew what I had done. They could draw their own conclusions from that without the full scoop. Since I refused to humiliate myself further, he stood up and said that there was nothing further to discuss, and that I was being uncooperative by refusing to answer these probing questions. I was to get my answer soon, he said, couldn't wait to get me out of the room.

    I still feel that it was his way of getting back at me since I had publicly rejected him. To me it was never that way at all, and he brought the 'public' part of it on himself by announcing it to the world without bothering ask how I felt about it.


  • straightshooter

    I was falsely accused of slandering an elder. I never said anything bad about the elder, but two elders accused me of saying bad things about another elder. Of course the two elders were puppets of the so-called slandered elder. Because I did not apologize for something I never did, a judicial committee was formed and railroaded me.

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