i remember these, but as you get further out they affect you less and less. its been about 4 years since i have set foot in a KH, and now when I see witnesses i dont eve flinch. i just more on, and dont even acknowledge them unless they are in my face saying hello. then i will just say hi and keep walking. i used to get nervous when i see them, and never thought that would change. now i feel nothing but pity when i see them, so it will get better for you.
I have had a childhood of learning to let go of friendships it stood me in good stead. I don't mourn the friendships I've lost but appreciate the ones I have.
Outside I have been able to find people who like me for who I am warts and all. They call me with their news and we share our achievements and frustrations. As a witness even those women I was closer too would rarely call out of the blue to ask after me, there was always an agenda. When we started to fade I received a couple of we missed you at the meeting calls but no one was really interested in me as a person merely in the space I occupied at the kingdom hall.
It is nice not to be judged too harshly any more and to have worth as a person not as a statistic.
The woman who used to be my best friend and her elder husband are taking their 3 young children to a dangerous third world country (think child abduction and organ harvesting) to serve where the need is great. CRAZY!!
This is becoming popular now, for some reason. Has anyone else noticed this?
I've heard of 2 families lately doing this, and others discussing doing it.
Mostly moving to Central / South America, where apparently you can live like a king for a few hundred $ per month. Or at least that's what they've been led to believe.
I've said "Thanks....I am doing VERY well! Being away has given me the opportunity to do some real personal research and focus on really studying the BIBLE." After that...I am very elusive with my wording. (are you going to come back to the KH then?) "no...i am very happy where I am with things right now".
If they ask for specifics I just smile and say "the truth does indeed set one free....all I can tell you is....do as much research as you can.....knowledge is a wonderful thing"
They get the point that I've learned a lot about "the truth".....I am happy.....and I'm not going back to the KH without me tying a noose around my own neck
Isn't it amazing that they only "miss" you enough to tell you through a third party that they miss you? (or by a chance meeting?)
Rarely do they come over or call. Not that I want them to.....but in all honesty.....THAT is when you know you are truly missed.
Hmm, after reading these post I finally realized at least one advantage of being disfellowshipped: I don't have to worry about having this kind of experience.
That beings said, it's not worth it. I haven't talked to my oldest son but once in the last three years. I'd trade my problem for yours in a heartbeat. Next time you see these JWs in a chance encounter I suggest you smile, say something like, "It's good to see you! How are you?" and then talk about things that are important to YOU, not them, (avoiding of course subjects that would out you!)
Rather than tell them what they got wrong, concentrate on what they havnt got right.
One of the cleaners at work is a Witness, I allways get him to promise to tell me as soon as the society say anything about the "New World Order".
Allmost every Tom Dick and Harry is aware of the Globalist push towards a One World Government, yet those who claim to be keeping on the watch seem to be totally unaware of it!
Biblical prophesy unfoldimg in front of their very eyes, yet because they claim everything happened 100 years ago, they miss whats happening now.
So you could say, "Isnt it exciting how Revelation is coming true with this "New World Order", why even the Pope is backing it", and watch their blank and uncomprehending faces.
Use throaty bursts of, "mydemonssayjwsareworshippingsatan", followed by rolling your eyes back in your head, letting your tongue fall out of your mouth, drool. Wait for effect, then say, "BEELZEBUBouijaSTAIRWAYtoHEAVENbackwardsBAAL," then snicker, snort and wail.
At this point you will be laughing your head off at how hilarious you are. This is ok, just make sure it's maniacal laughter interspersed with babble and odd noises.
After they run out the door, laugh so the other customers will realize you were playing a practical joke. You will owe the restaurant owner an apology because she will have to clean up all the urine from the dubs peeing their pants.
How do I know? I've done it.
Frenchfree: very funny, good idea when Im feeling cheeky.
Yourmomma: Ive noticed that too, every year that passes the whole bumping into JW thing gets easier, mostly I just avoid them because they just babble brainwashed rubbish anyway. I do feel sorry for them being controlled so badly.
Nugget: I 100% agree with you, we have been conditioned to walk away from friendships easily and not one friendship Ive lost has been sad for me, actually more of a relief. Obviously they werent my friends anyway. I have friends I truly care about now that actually do mean a lot to me- what a massive difference to the JWs! Bumping into the fools is just annoying cause I dont want to give too much away but I am also very opinionated so its hard not to open my big mouth.
Sir82: your comment is very true, lots of mostly single or couples have been going to third world countries, yes there is selfish motives as from what Ive heard they are living like royalty. This couple and their 3 kids recieve a very generous (disability) pension from our government so they dont have to work, apparently they can spend a certain amount of time overseas and not have it cancelled. While us taxpayers fund their holiday.
OSTS: well you certainly are outsmartingthesystem! I should have told them Ive been researching like you said, but even thats enough to prick up the ears of ex COs and elders wives. Its true that Ive never picked up a bible so much as in the last 6 months. I did tell an unbaptised publisher that Ive been researching and have been shocked at what I found, so Im sure that will get back to the cong. (she was shocked when I told her she also needs to check her facts on the history of the org) If the elders approach me on that one I will 1. tell them to mind their own business. 2. tell them its not true. They are scared of my Hubby anyway, they know he will knock their block off if they even try and insinuate a wrong doing on my part.
OODad: exactly what Im trying to avoid. Ive been disfellowshipped once and its awfully hard to get back in (as a believer, I wouldnt want to even try and fake it) I really feel for you. Im glad I got my kids out before they had the chance to be brainwashed enough to stop talking to me.
Nambo: interesting comments, will keep that one in mind.
Rebel8: as I read your post I saw myself doing just that! Bloody hilarious!! They seem to think I dont go to meetings because I have depression, its not too far fetched to say I have some awful mental illness that allows me to talk to demons. (I did have depression until I realized it was caused by the borg BS) Maybe I could throw in some demonic phrases while having a conversation with them, tourette style. lol
"I did tell an unbaptised publisher that Ive been researching and have been shocked at what I found, so Im sure that will get back to the cong. (she was shocked when I told her she also needs to check her facts on the history of the org)"
Yeah....that response might be considered "brazen". I'd have used the word interested in lieu of shocked. "Interested" may get the person to actually look up some information his/herself. "Shocked" will scare the hell out of them and make them run back to the organizational teet for more nursing. The best approaches I've heard have been bringing up a good point to get the JW to think.....but in a way that does not sound critical. Something like "I love how bright the light has gotten recently. I can't believe we used to think that the exact generation that saw the events of 1914 would be the ones that would still be alive when the end comes. This newest explanation of an overlapping generation just makes so much more sense." Or "I was reading about this church in Georgia yesterday. The Pastor claims that God only speaks through him. He predicted the world would end on 1-1-2000 and of course, it didn't happen. But get this.....he now says "I never said that GOD said the world would end then.....I said at that time "it is evident that a worldwide rapture will occur on 1-1-2000. It was nothing more than an opinion". Can you believe that? He needs to read Duet 18:22. I'm so glad I'm not mislead like that."