Would this offend you?

by Disillusioned Lost-Lamb 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

    I am remaining "in" for the time being, for my family, so with that said...

    I fear my niece (9) and nephew (6) will be assimilated into the borganization therefore I try to covertly undermine their indoctrination hoping that if they CHOOSE to be a witless it will be just that, their choice. Regardless of their path, I know my Sister and BIL will not plan anything for their children's futures, I don't want them to needlessly struggle because they never got the opportunities a normal child would’ve and I believe that, in or out, a higher education at least gives them a chance, I was thinking of secretly starting a small college fund for each of them.

    What do you think? Would any of you parents be offended by this? Am I overstepping my bounds?

    I would be happy if my whole family woke up and left the cult, or it fell apart, but I don't see that happening soon and I don't want my Sis, BIL, niece or nephew to wake up one day and go, "holy crap we never made a plan B!"; because without a plan B they're screwed and I think these kids deserve more than that.

  • 00DAD

    Keep it a secret until the kids are 18 (or older) and then offer it to them on the condition that it can ONLY be used for education (or possibly retirement).

    How can anyone be offended by something they don't know about until they are ready to know about it?

    Just a thought.

  • Kojack57

    Dll: I'm sure that they would be very grateful to you for doing that. Your right, someone has to think with a sound mind to protect them for the future. Your are a thoughtful and caring person for thinking of them.


  • james_woods

    My grandfather did this for me - and it was a trust to be used ONLY for higher education.

    Thus, I was one of the very few witnesses who actually went on to college.

    The JWs in that era (late 60s) would grudgingly put up with college if it was insisted on by a non-witness parent or relative.

  • moshe

    This is a very nice gesture on your part- as long as it does not damage your retirement plans. The only problem I see is, if you quit or get DF'd before they start college. They might feel compelled to reject money from a relative who is being shunned- and would you want to send two kids to college who are shunning you? Probably not.

    If one of these kids get's df'd whose side would you take? If you took the side of the Df'd relative, then your status as an approved JW might be questioned by the KH.

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    A big thumbs up to that idea. Beautiful!

  • Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

    Thanks, I know you can't be offended by a secret; I just want to make sure I'm not stepping over any forbidden parent/child borders.

    My Sis and BIL are terrible with money so I know these kids don’t have a snowballs chance in hell financially. I was thinking of some type of account that I could use to pay for their tuition directly (they would not just get the money) or use for my retirement if they refused college, especially if they chose to pious-sneer.

  • Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

    I do understand the ramifications of what I'm considering, even if I fade, DA or get DF or one of them fades, DA or gets DF; this is something I will have to feel out over the years, if I can manage to do it.

    I just want them to have the option that I know their parents are not going to provide.

  • panhandlegirl

    I think that's a wonderful idea and very good of you to do this for them. I think it's a good idea for you to control what the money will be used for and by the time they are college age, they will be able to make their own decisons about accepting the money or not. I wish I had had an uncle like you.

  • tec

    I don't think there is a forbidden border when it comes to adult children. It isn't as though you're going to be pushing them to go to college as their parents are pushing them not to go. If they want to go, you will have provided a means, and once they are adults (or pretty close), you can reveal that the option is available if they so choose.

    People can get offended over anything though. But I also think it is a generous and thoughtful think you are doing.



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