I see myself as someone "who has forsaken the faith, principles, or party, to which he before adhered; esp., one who has forsaken his religion." Yes, indeed, and if that is what people say when they call me an apostate, I accept the label.
If asked to explain in my own words where I am now and why I left where I was for this place, I would say, I am no longer one who belongs to a group that is certain that their way is God's way and the only approved way. I don't think I want to belong to any such group, or will ever again.
Perhaps I have gone from being one who was certain he had found "the Truth" in one organization, to one who is searching for truth wherever it may be found. I now see that much of "the Truth" was anything but that, and I seriously question the fundamental underpinnigs of the religion.
So what does that make me? An "embracer of mystery?" (I like that one!) A "seeker of my own truth?" An "open-minded, eclectic sampler of many paradigms?" Perhaps "would-be mystic" is a good term for me.
I think the problem many of us have with the word "apostate" is that it retains the focus on what we left behind, as if it were the only thing of importance. It tends to invalidate where we are and wherever it may be that we are headed. That makes it a word of shame. "You left Jehovah's organization, and turned your back on the Truth!" it seems to say.
I propose that there is no suitable word for all of us. Take whatever new title you like, and leave the word "apostate" for the Witnesses to cling to. It just reflects their fear of thinking for themselves, really. Thus I think it is appropriate for them as JWs to use in reference to us, but not for us to use in reference to ourselves.
As far as where I have come from, and where I spent about 30 years of my life, is concerned, I am an ex-JW. I have no problem with that term.
I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery
than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.
- Harry Emerson Fosdick
