Welcome. It was nice to read your story.
The worst is that I feel depressed, I feel like I can die in any minute. Before finding out that I`ve been misled I felt that I was immortal. Now when my mother drives the car, when she drives hundreds of miles alone, I always have the feeling that those are the last moments I spend with her, I mean the moments when I wish her a nice trip. I always remind her to fasten the seat belts. All day I am thinking about how old my parents will be in 2030 if they will be alive. I cry very often. (yeah, I am a guy, and 18). I try to think rational. Is this not true that we probably have 16000 more days in our life, or maybe less..16000 day, 384 000 hour.. it makes me so sad and desperate.
There are a couple of things about that comment. If you still believe in God, then you still have the hope of a resurrection, just it may be a different resurrection than you were taught by the Watchtower. If you no longer believe in God, life is more fragile and your own mortality can make you sadder, but it need not be cause for depression. Instead, life becomes more precious, and more reason to make sure you focus on the important things and enjoying each moment.