So confused: Welcome to the board. Speak your mind and start healing. We are all ears.
out of the closet
by so confused 24 Replies latest jw friends
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jamiebowers
You're a grown woman with a child of her own. When someone asks about your beliefs, meeting attendance, field service, etc., just say you don't want to talk about it and then refuse to discuss it further. If they choose to shun you, it's their choice, not yours. You're not at fault. Start creating a real circle of friends, and note that any sacrifice to pay for non-jw daycare is worth it. Do you really want your jw family and/or in laws telling your kid that Mommy and Daddy are going to die at Armageddon, which, by the way, is right around the corner? You're already twisted in knots about them. Do you want your child to suffer the same way?t
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Flossycat
Hi and welcome, So-Confused. Great advice here - you have lots of people around you to help you and support you and your husband through this. Someone's already mentioned it - find a good therapist - one who knows about Jehovah's Witnesses/cult-mentality if possible.
In March, at the Australian Cult Info&Family Support conference, I met a psychologist (we'll call her Cath) who had a JW patient. The JW only came to see her a few times then stopped. Cath didn't know why. I said 'I've written a book about having been a JW, and the problems of leaving, and it includes a experiences from a psychologist who had problems trying to get through to 2 JW patients he'd had.' She bought my book. Two weeks later she emailed me thanking me so much in showing her how to understand everything. (Obviously not everything - but for her it answered her dilemma with this JW, and why therapy wasn't working.)
Keep in touch - because being able to vent and talk - as was explained at the conference - "helps bring down the terror."
Love and best wishes from Helen. Melbourne, Australia.
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just Ron
baltar447 said
Having free child care is important, but you need an exit plan since you don't want your child(ren) growing up with these stupid phobias.
They will be doing the book of bible fairy tales stories to get the kids started. Then start them asking why don't you go to the kingdom hall like grandma. Grandma says you are going to die because you don't go to the kingdom hall. It will happen just give it time.
Ron
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snare&racket
It's shocking how quickly people change from being your "brothers and sisters" to your "judge and jury" if it were all true they would be pouring love, compassion, truth, facts, unquestionable evidence all over you.... But they won't. They will resent you for being strong and raising your hand to dare ask a question, the inner strength to say "enough is enough" just makes them feel sheepish. In addition to all of this, being a JW is seriously hard work. It is intense!!!! And it heir eyes you are walking off scot free, no more early ministry, no more meetings.... They will never resent the precious religion for being such hard taskmasters, instead, again through fear they will be angry at you. Remember.... If it was all true they would be pouring love on you.... But it isn't and I am sorry to tell you they won't. It actually helps people to leave, it's the side of the witnesses you only get to see when nyou leave. I was never DFd by the way, I was asked to stop attending because I asked the elders why the society owned the majority of the shares in a military company. They told me that it was all a mistake and I should not worry about it. When I asked "what about all the people that hear about this and decide that this must just be another false religion? How can god judge them at Armageddon if they found about this scandal and so rejected the Watchtower?" this was a legitimate and heart felt question. The elders disagreed. Within weeks I was banned from being best man at a jw wedding....... And so it began.
Im not sure if you have kids or not, if you do then my words have more potency, yes it is hard, they make sure it is... But leave as soon as you can. Life is good, REAL life.
Snare x