has anyone lied to the two elders

by wasted 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • wasted
    wasted

    just a ? as ive got cobe and my daughters fil coming round nxt wk to grill me, first time 2 of the blighters have turned up together so im expecting the inevitable. by the way not been to a meeting in 2.5 yrs after 35 yrs in the b/s,and just wondering how much they pressure to get the answers they want. any help would be appreciated.

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    If you tell them how you feel you are likely to be disfellowshipped. If this is something you need to avoid then you will have to lie or not meet with them.

  • wasted
    wasted

    thank you Mickey Ido have to avoid that as we have grand children and the sil says he will treat me as d/f. how pushy are they to get to get you to really say what they think they know how you feel

  • Chariklo
    Chariklo

    They're doing the big round-up before the Memorial, aren't they?

    I suppose it's something you have to choose between. Do you go along quietly to the Memrial and the special talk meeting and look head-bowed and murmur kind of humble things to the 2 elders, or do you risk losing contact with your grandchildren.

    That's the wicked thing about this religion. Or just one of the wicked things, and one of the worst.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Tell them firmly that you're uncomfortable with their questions and that you'll contact them IF you ever want to talk.

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    If you are faced with the loyalty question at any time i.e "Do you believe the WT/JW's are God's Organization ?" or substance thereof, you will have to lie if you do not want to be goonered, (= DF'd or Da'd).

    I personally see nothing wrong, morally, with telling them porkies, they have no right to your innermost thoughts and beliefs, they are private, so just say what you need to say to get the result you want.

    If you can avoid putting yourself in the position, by not meeting with two Elders at all, that is even better.

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Hello and welcome Wasted. As Phizzy e said, they have no rights at all to delve into your innermost thoughts so don't have any compunction about being strategic and economic with the truth. If you want to protect your family relationships I'd go with the 'depression/struggle to be in groups of people line or similar. You might throw in the society's demands for more and more have driven you to worthlessness maybe?

    Their questions if they suspect your defection will be cleverly worded so do watch your back.

    Loz x

  • Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

    Welcome.

    I've lied to the elderberries before and didn't feel bad about it either; they don't really want the truth, they want you to kiss their ass and prove them right, so I gave them what they wanted.

    The shepherding calls and judicial committees are only to get you to either leave or grovel and, depending on what you want to do, you have to choose which way the meeting will go.

    But be prepared, choosing to grovel will require a lot of lying.

  • Nice_Dream
    Nice_Dream

    I lied and said I still believed it was "the truth" just so the elders would stop coming by. Most of the time I avoid them when they come to the door, and if they catch me by surprise I keep it short and try and be friendly. They aren't too persistent anymore, and just think we're spiritually weak, even though we missed the memorial last year.

    You have every right to tell them whatever you please. They have no control over you. You can tell them you're just discouraged, depressed, or have been busy. They just try and reach out around memorial time, I wouldn't worry about them questioning you too much. You could also tell them that you need to keep it brief and don't invite them in.

  • clearpoison
    clearpoison

    Yes, but within the same discussion my wife ratted me out by confessing her part. I think they never noticed what really happened before that. CP

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