ExJW who was a former friend explains why she defriended me on FB - and my response!

by Broken Promises 44 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  MrMonroe

  MOST inactive and former JWs are still captive to the concept that WT is God's Organization. A significant percentage live in fear of Armageddon.

  Leavingwt's comment is spot-on.

  I have written before about how my wife and I (out of the cult at that stage for about a year) visited one of our old friends in Brisbane, who told us proudly we were "amateurs" -- because he had not been to a meeting or memorial in seven years. We'd suspected for a while that he had left, and he spoke with some bitterness about how they had changed their view on higher education (he felt his own life prospects had been damaged because of their disapproval of university).

  We had a long talk about why we left and why he left ... and as we parted, he said to us, "Hey guys, we have to stay in touch! I mean, it's not as if you've been disfellowshipped or anything." I presumed he was joking and waited for a laugh -- but he was serious. Seven years after he had decided he no longer wanted to be a JW, he was letting THEM decide who he could be friends with. He was still in their control.
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  ohiocowboy

  I usually have to watch what I say in front of some of my FB friends who have left the "Truth". I have seen some get offended by even small comments about the JW's. It's sad that even though they have left the KH physically, they have not yet left emotionally. From personal experience, I know that it takes time, so I just try to be patient. Still, I wouldn't trade my FB for the world, as it has allowed me to reconnect with 19 people who I grew up with from childhood that I otherwise never would have heard from again. Every time someone from my past finds me, the more joy I feel!

  I'm sorry that your friend still holds an emotional attachment to the Org. and that she defriended you because of it. Perhaps when she sees even more how loving and genuine you are, she will realise that she really has nothing to fear from those who have left. Your responses to her were great, and it looks like she is thinking a bit more clearly about things. I have found that JW's automatically think that we hate them, when in actuality it is not them, but the WTBTS itself. They are just misguided people, as many of us once were.

  I hope that you are able to continue talking with your friend!
• 

  Scott77

  The current thinking of JWs is that, worldly people are somehow, a bit better than Ex-JWs. Carl Max stated that religion is the opium of the people. I think, in this instance, the Watchtower is the opium, and the religion and its teachings that have addictive quality of hooking up JWs including some Ex-JWs. On my side,I have been contacted via email and gmail chats by JWs who knew me but I have opted to block them. Experiences show that I am a thousands time far better off without them. BP, you should consider it as a gift and an honor to be unfriended on facebook by any JWs regardless of their status in the Washtowel. Life if sweeter outside the box.

  Scott77
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  Aussie Oz

  give her time...

  i was out and still beleived they were the truth for 12 years before i woke up...

  Oz
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  smiddy

  I can concurr with Aussie to some degree on this ,I was out for years ,but their were still some things you couldn`t let go of,i faded in `93 but it wasn`t till 5? yrs ago I came on this site and now I am emotionally/spiritually free ?

  smiddy