by CuriousUK 156 Replies latest social relationships
You can see already that he puts the Watchtower organization ahead of you.
He'll marry you IF and only if you change and become a JW.
If you do it and marry him, he'll still always put the organization first.
Since this will be one of the major decisions of your life, check things out first.
Visit www.jwfacts.com
Also read Ray Franz's book Crisis of Conscience.
It you don't do it now and you become a JW, they will forbid you to do it later.
They will control your thinking and your behavior.
If you have children together ... be prepared to let them die if they need a blood transfusion. If you leave the organization, he will turn the kids against you and you will be seen as an enemy of God.
You will always come 2nd to the Watchtower. You will lose everything. Divorce rate as a JW is very high. Trust me ... it cost me my marriage.
Yes that was well mentioned, whoever said that about blood transfusions, i beilve there is a scripture that JWs follow which is something to the effect of to not consume blood of any kind for it is the life and soul. (something like that) so if you or your future kids need a blood transfusion, you have to say no, which in turn could lead to you or your kids death.
And the other crazy doctrines such as these weird dates they come out with, that jesus was enthroned in 1914, and it was only then jesus decided to boot satan out of heaven and down to earth. I beilve they use this year becauseof WW1???? im not too savvy, others would know more. (i dont beileve it says anything like that in the bible, they have some kind of weird calculation for it, 1914)
Also, your ten posts you have wont last long, soon it will be out of 100 instead of 10, i forget how that works, hopefully someone else can fill you in on that post limit counter.
Keep researching about the JWs! And if you are a beilever of the bible and what it says, i may quote you 2ndJohn 1:7.
Because i forgot to mention, although Jesus was enthroned in 1914, and he kicks satan out and down to us, he is also invisible, according to their beilefs.
Hi CuriousUK . . .
The advice is pretty unanimous. All I can add is . . . you must be fully prepared to walk away from this relationship, as that is the most likely outcome sadly. More than a few here have sacrificed close relationships and family, loved ones, in order to free themselves from this cult. You will likely have to do the same to stay clear of it.
By all means prepare your strategy well and give it a shot . . . all the best with it.
CuriousUK I've just read through all the updates to this thread. I understand that you can't post again till tomorrow but i'm quite sure you are going to be checking in.
First of all, I am in the UK. I very nearly got baptised this very spring. So very nearly, it scares me. I know that my earlier post in this thread was angry....much too angry, maybe, but I am indeed angry at the tricks that were played on me. I escaped in the nick of time.
Believe me, I really do know what I'm talking about.
You wrote
"In so many ways, the beliefs of JW are not so far removed from the Church of England. But where they differ, they really differ!!!"
Actually, they are very different indeed. Making it sound at first as if they are similar is one of the tricks they have. They are trained all the time, constantly, to know how to deal with every single person they meet. They have a Reasoning Book, that deals with many questions in a variety of circumstances. A Theocratic Ministry School Book that does the same and teaches how to do it well. There is a Kingdom Ministry leaflet that comes out each month and week by week carries further practical encouragement. And they are out door to door all the time. George of England above mentioned 10 hours a week. Many domuch, much more than that, and have devoted their lives to it...they talk about it daily with each other, and if they're not out on the ministry they're encouraging each other by text message. I know. I was part of it, as an unbaptised publisher.
All of which means they can be very clever and very subtle. This is not the good old tolerant C of E. They are not tolerant. I listened to them out of politeness and tolerance, and a willingness to hear their point of view. my family and friends were aghast that they persuaded me...not at first, I argued and argued, but eventually I stopped resisting. JustRon was right when he said
DO not go into the study with an open mind! You will be converted then when you find new facts or the light changes. You can never leave
Please don't make my mistake. Although not baptised, I really suffered. I came on this site 10 months ago and people told me, but then somehow they "got" me again. because they will never, ever give up. Black Sheep's advice is very good, too.
Fundamentally, they think that they are the only people who will live through Armageddon. Their attitude is that if you want to live you must join them, and that's the purpose of that Bible Teach book.They alll look forward to the "new system of things" on Paradise Earth, and are encouraged to visulise themselves there often. They even plan where and how they are going to live on Paradise Earth. I haven't heard one of them worry about the people who are going to be wiped out. Not one sweet-faced sister has ever concerned herself about them. After all, JW's are the sheep and everyone else is a goat and deserves what they get. Not a caricature. Absolutely true.
It sounds to me as if your boyfriend must believe all this. If he were in any doubt he would readily walk away and wouldn't be trying to convert you. And yes, they do marry people they've converted, I know several instances right here where I live.
As an Anglican, you know God to be loving and forgiving. After the Bible Teach book, a "student" gets to study a book called "Keep yourself in God's love". The title is a give-away. They teach that God's love is dependent on your behaviour, and that could be anything as petty as not washing your car. I am serious. If anyone objects to anything about you, especially your study conductor who may "lovingly" mention it to an elder, if the elders tell you to improve in any area (they will tell you it is "out of love") then you are expected to view it as if Jehovah God were telling you. If you don't obey, God will withdraw his love. This is really true. It really happened. You mustn't argue, especially if you are a second class citizen, i.e. a woman. Again, I am not joking. This is true.
It is a very bad cult. Run away and don't look back.
CuriousUK said - I should also clarify that I am not currently dating this guy. We were together for three weeks, two years ago, before KH intervened and stopped him seeing or contacting me. In the last six months he has started texting me and even made plans to come and see me where I now live in London, which I thought was strange at the time as it would be very much breaking the rules for him.
Because of his status in his cong, it's unlikely that a 'spiritually" JW would want to date him. What is his true motive for contacting you now after all this time? This guy sounds selfish .
I don't understand. You knew him for three weeks, then two years later he has been texting you and that's it? Is this a test for how well we read posts? I'm kidding, but I still don't understand how you might want to spend a life time of dedication through a not so fine organization for a man you have known for three weeks two years ago?
He is an active JW and I am a practising Church of England person. ... I've agreed to do a Bible Study with an open mind, but I just wish we could be together as we are, with compromises on both sides.
Has he agreed to attend Church of England services with you? Is he studying C.O.E. teachings, and open-minded about your beliefs? Are you aware of just how contemptuously the Watchtower speaks of all other religions? A one sided "compromise" is really no better than surrender.
Some do manage to survive, even thrive in a mixed Watchtower-Christian marriage, but it is a very difficult path to follow. Having been there myself, done that, and yes, paid the lawyer when things fell apart, I urge you to consider the situation most carefully.
Another odd thing I saw a few times while in the organization. Sometimes a young man leaves the Org, too hard, to many rules, likes the world. He finds a girl he likes, marries her, goes back in the Org., gets her into the Org. After awhile he leaves the Org. again or at least any activity. She's stuck in, a couple times leaving her too.
Don't get stuck please!!
