What about normalcy? Is it even an option?

watergoddess

What about normalcy? Is it even an option? Am I hoping in vain for something that won’t come? You know the regular life where you have an inner circle of friends who you can trust. Family that loves you. Getting a phone call from someone who isn’t interested in your spiritual well being. Going over someone’s house for dinner and having the everyday “how’s life treating you” kind of conversion.

How do you get over seeing an old friend just walk by you and not even blink? How do you get over the rejection? I don’t want my life to sound like a soap opera! I don’t want to be angry anymore! I don’t want my family to be victimized. Most of you have been in our shoes. How do you get through this? Am I going to be socially wounded for the rest of my life? How do get beyond the hate and move forward?

wasasister

Watergodess, what a cool name!

I don't know that you really "get over" any profound experience in your life. Maybe that's a good thing. At best we learn and grow, even if there is some scar tissue.

"Time heals all wounds" is a tired cliche, but it has truth in it. You will make new (and more genuine) friends. Try to remember when someone passes you by and does not blink, it is they who have the defect, not you.

How do you get beyond the hate and move forward? One moment at a time, Dear....one moment at a time.

Glad to meet you.

Wasa

garybuss

Hi Water,

When I was a witness I had instant friends, instant acceptance, and an instant social life complete with invitations. Everything was hermetically sealed and all laid out for me. I was trusted by virtue of my ability to keep on the approved for association list.

My life in the natural world is very different than that inside the high control group, I am glad to report. I have had to earn trust. I have had to prove I was respectable rather than just claim to be. I have had to be a friend first before I could have friends. I have had to invite people over and not expect a return invitation from them.

People in the natural world do not all have the same beliefs and likes and dislikes. Some people like to be left alone and that has absolutely nothing to do with me.

Some people like me and that also has nothing to do with me.

As for the JW's and shunning, I shun them. No exceptions.

gb

Elsewhere

I don't know. I've been trying to get "normalcy" since August 9, 1998, the day I officially left the bOrg. The damn bastards branded me for life - I was born in it, third generation. I even moved 400 miles and they still have their hooks in me, through my family and my lack of social skills.

What I wouldn't give for a normal life.

You know the regular life where you have an inner circle of friends who you can trust. Family that loves you. Getting a phone call from someone who isn’t interested in your spiritual well being. Going over someone’s house for dinner and having the everyday “how’s life treating you” kind of conversion.

Believe in yourself, not mythology.
<x ><

flower

watergoddess,

i am sure that you will find normalcy. many have. i have realized recently that some people never will. i'm one of them, i hope you arent. i'm sure you arent. very few are.

peace,

flower

Bang

Watergoddess,

People greet you wherever you meet them, at the shops, everywhere, and there are many of them who are concerned for you; i.e. your spiritual well-being. The WT crew are Scared about Their spiritual well-being because it's tied up.

Whoever is truly concerned for your well-being, your life, how your doing, is really concerned for your spirituality - not someone who's preoccupied with how you'll go in front of the monster in their own mind.

How do you get beyond the hate? I'm no expert at that. I still carry a warlike disgust of them. Be concerned with helping people, i.e. their life - I know that's a good start.

Bang

waiting

Normal life is such an individual thing!

Remember when a normal family was a father, mother, 3 kids, father working? Then changed to mother & father working, 2.5 kids, then changed dramatically with the acceptance of divorce, then changing again to recognize the families of homosexuals, etc? I believe now that 2 kids is considered average - wherein the 40's, almost 5 was average - even considered normal. Yuck, imho.

What is "normal"?

I think sometimes when we leave the borg, we assume that others usually have normal lives.....trust, friendships, happy christmas, thanksgiving, easter, birthdays, etc. Good marriages and a college education - where they actually learned and didn't drink & boff their way through college (or play sports).

Life is what we make of it. And normal is as subject as the term "my life." It will be different than yours. Do we share issues? Probably - but being women (not two goddesses), we probably share issues too.

We relearn - which is ongoing. I would like a good, close friend whom I trust - and realize that I had it in the borg also.....my grumpy old husband. Poor guy - he has me for a friend!

Nice to meet you - and few consider this forum "normal" anything - but we're addicted to it.

And it's Simon's fault.

waiting

patio34

Hi Watergoddess,

It's nice to meet you and hear your ideas. I've been out about a year now and have gone thru the same frustrating re-establishment of my life. Now what i do is what anyone would have to do when moving into a new community. We have figuratively anyway. You be where the people are.

I'm in an art class,
joining a poetry workshop,
in a walking group,
maybe a book club soon,
make efforts at being friendly, helpful, and outgoing to people i meet.
I'm also going to be volunteering for the American Cancer Society in May.

Friendships will grow out of a few of these.

But it all takes patience and time. It's getting so much better now than last year.

This board has been a great help as we're all veterans of the same war.

Just keep your eyes open for opportunities to be active in the community and things will move up from there. Just as if you'd just moved into the area. Our public library has 'happenings' in the community, and the city offers classes that i can take on the weekend. The poetry workshop is offered 2 nites a month at Barnes and Noble. I invited one of the art students who writes poetry to go too.

I also got a few books from Amazon.com on how to make friends also. One point is that you've got to meet a lot of people and be where people are in order to have friendships grow out of that.

All the best and life does get better. But hard work brings good luck.

Pat

WTBS: Quit peeing on my leg and telling me it's raining.

watergoddess

You are right Waiting, normal is relative. It’s very difficult keeping things in prospective when you feel you don’t fit in anywhere. Patio34 thanks for the suggestions. I am planning on getting involved in some stuff. Everyone thanks for the posts. I feel a little better.

WG

Imbue

I'm not trying to preach at you just listen to the understanding of this poem/prayer

GOD, grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the
things I can, and the
wisdom to know the difference.

Remembering the meaning of this poem/prayer has helped me with the anger I've lived with and had to give away. I came to understand that I had enough of my own shame and guilt to carry around. I decided to give it back where it belongs.

We can't change other people, we can't change the past, we can't control tomorrow.

We can control how we react to people and how we educate ourselves, but only for today. It took me along time to really apply this in my life. It doesn't happen over night. I was a walking timebomb.

If the head be corrupt, so also must be the members — The Two Babylons Alexander Hislop

What about normalcy? Is it even an option?

WTBS: Quit peeing on my leg and telling me it's raining.

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