You would return to Jehovah's Witnesses if...

by Shawn10538 26 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  Shawn10538

  someone else suggested this so I just figured, OK let's do it.

  1. All present JWs died and I became the sole leader of the entire religion

  2. Then I would dissolve the religion and burn every last memory of it ever existing

  3. All books would be burned, all buildings destroyed

  4. all WT lands including all Kingdom Hall land would be disced and returned to the natural state of local geography and be dedicated open space that can never be built upon or developed ever again for all time. all indigenous plants would be restored.

  5. Once a year parties like Burning Man would be held on former JW land, including all houses by the now dead JWs, and we , the exJWs will get together and party, take lots of psychedelic drugs and dance around camp fires, do drum circles, and burn effigies of WT symbolism and laugh our heads off about how stupid the whole religion was and vow to never make up religions again.
• 

  av8orntexas
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  Black Sheep

  ... they admitted they were a scam and donated their Real Estate holdings and bank accounts for rehabilitating their converts and their affected families.
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  Twitch

  they bought me beer and KFC
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  transhuman68

  ....Fred Franz was brought back to life and made to eat every word he ever wrote...
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  wha happened?

  they turn each of their publications into a musical
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  3rdgen

  Wha Happened, Hilarious! I can see it on the marquis now: 1975-The musical
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  wha happened?

  Young People Ask the Musical - Is wanking it to 3 part harmony grounds for losing priviledges?
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  WTWizard

  Nothing. Chances are good that, even if I were promised the opposite sex for merely looking at a rag, they would welsh on the promise. It would be the start of a long road of chasing the promise right down to the Value Destroyer Training School. If I was too old for that rubbish, they would instead send me on a mission to the place where the witlesses seem to be growing the fastest--Nigeria and Western Africa. I would never trust Jehovah for anything--even a little tiny gesture would be merely the start of chasing the reward to lifelong missionary or monastery work.

  I recall Christianity as putting faith in Jesus' dying as a sacrifice that is perfect, complete, to which nothing ever need be added. If I get called on to make even the tiniest addition to that sacrifice, I have violated that perfection--as has the church calling on me to make it.
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  out4good3

  ...I was totally and completely lobotomized.