Looking back, did you find yourself always worried about what was going to happen to you if you made a mistake or you even exercised your own "Bible trained conscience"?
Were You In A Constant State Of Worry As A Witness?
by minimus 24 Replies latest jw friends
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designs
When I turned 50 years old as an adult and realized I still believed in demons I knew its time for a change.
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undercover
Not a state of worry. More like a state of confusion. Belief vs information created a sense of a continual paradox. We're supposed to believe this but the evidence supports that. That's when worry kicked in. Not worry about doing wrong...but worry about, "Am I wrong? What if this is all a sham?"
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Dagney
Exactly what undercover said.
My mistakes never bothered me, or choices the WTBS did not approve of. But I constantly thought, "What if they are wrong...." which created a continual struggle mentally.
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TOTH
When I was a kid I was worried that either I would die at Armageddon if my folks failed to live up to all of it or that they might die if I was a failure.
By my teen years I was not really firm in the beliefs but because of the hounding I finally got baptized. I did try hard to earn my salvation but eventually realized what a hypocrite I was becoming. I worried that I would be destroyed for going to porn shops and for renting xxx video tapes. I got into the aux pioneer thing every spring and tried to be good but I would without fail masturbate, then crave my particular kind of porn and go through the cycle all over again.
Then I met my wife and we got into some swapping and other fun activities. We kept this stuff under our hat and the stupid elders never found out. She tries to keep her faith but sees that it is all such BS. We are fading quietly. Well me not so much. I am just being very snarky...LOL
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Londo111
Wow...
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Londo111
Yes, I was in a constant state of worry. Field service was very difficult and I was a low hour publisher and never effective when I was out. I thought I was doomed.
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3rdgen
Not until my children were born. Then I boarded the worry train. The father of my kids was acting more and more "worldly". I became a nervous wreak that their salvation rested solely on MY shoulders. I worried about setting the "proper" example at all times. Worried about entertainment, recreation, association, etc. Worried if we missed a meeting or FS. The more strict I became ,(thinking I was saving the kids) the wilder their father became. This, in turn, made me WORRY MORE because in my mind the WORST associate for my kids was their own father. You can imagine how miserable the situation became- all because of a false belief that a supposedly loving God would kill my children because of their parents errors and omissions!
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NewChapter
Absolutely! I thought it was just my emotional makeup. But then I left. I still worry sometimes, but not about nearly as much nor nearly as intensely. It's like a huge weight lifted.
NC
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botchtowersociety
Absolutely! I thought it was just my emotional makeup. But then I left. I still worry sometimes, but not about nearly as much nor nearly as intensely. It's like a huge weight lifted.
Dittoes. The last few years nearly gave me an ulcer, plus I was loaded up with congo responsibilities, which felt like I was dragging a ship's anchor around everywhere.