by jam 28 Replies latest jw friends
I was thinking about this because it appear that so many
young ones are coming out. When I came out the last
person I would want to date was A ex-JW.
I look at the young lady my son is dating and they have
so much in common. Both born in, they were not aware of that fact
when they begain dating.You have dating services for old, young, Christians,etc.
But no Ex-JW. I think it would be A good idea. I remerber
in the 70,s they had A dating site for JW,s, problems with that.
Sorry, it just pop up, so there is A dating service for ex-JW.
My bag...
wow no thanks.
it's a great idea.. they have JWdating sites .. one you have to know the songs in the latest KM to enter .. another I saw . read a few post it was hillarious .. an elderly woman looking for someone to walk arm and arm with into the new system.. get real.. ha ha
most ex-JW's want to forget they were.. though..
TT
3'2 inches, 100 lbs, svelt, pelt in excellent condition... seeks male to groom, massage, change diapers, and frequent kisses appreciated. Dietary needs include banana daquari's (frequent), banana bread, plaintain soups, and beer. (not american beer)
Some anger issues, but under control at this time...
oh I remember reading those. Hilarious. I would see sisters with their laundry list of what they are looking for in a brother. 1st on the list. Money. Enough for them to pioneer. It was such a joke.
Tater-T, So funny, someone to walk with into the new system,
and kingdumb songs, too much. We had A sister in the 70,s who
hook up with A brother in another state. When he came to visit
her he moved in with her. Well that was A mess, the sisters
in the cong. came to me and told me, they are sleeping
togather, he just moved right in, no hotel . Then the sister came to me
and ask would I marry them, after they had live togather
for A week or more. Crazy.
Personally, I don't think it's a good idea. The first thing that pops into my mind is: "What if down the road they decide to go back??" If that happened, then you'd be in a committed relationship with a JW and you'd be no better off than you were before...especially if you're a fader and were never DF'ed or had never DA'ed. You might either get pulled back in by pressure from your spouse and elders, or you might get DF'ed for the life you were leading. It's not worth that chance to me.
I've gone on JW dating sites (years ago) and that was how I met my ex (MISTAKE). I think that anyone recovering from the JW mindset needs to be completely free and clear of it. Being in a relationship with someone who is in the same boat may not be healthy, as issues may continue to arise in one or both parties, putting strain on the relationship.
For example, I did meet my bf online, but it was on a message forum and we talked a long time before we decided to become serious and actually be together. In other words, we didn't start out looking for a relationship. It just kind of...happened. We realized we got along really well and were very supportive of each other emotionally and mentally. He is not (and has never been) involved with JW's in any way. His world view gives me perspective, and vise versa. When I have my moments where things from my past creep up and cause me to react a certain way, he calmly asks me "Baby, what is this? What's going on?" and will listen as I try to explain or try to figure it out myself.
There are ways to find someone suited to you (even your soulmate if you believe in that kind of thing like I do), but having the JW's as a foundation seems like "building your house on the sand". If that's the first thing you have in common, I feel it could be a dangerous thing down the road.
ya I think it's a bad idea now .. I considered it because I've had trouble in the past in relationships.. I was shunning Holidays which can be a sore spot for wordly people.. my Mom say's she quit going to meetings, because she didn't want to wait for an elderette to die to get a new mate..
Her last boyfriend broke up with her because she wouldn't celebrate Christmas.. he just wanted to take her to his grandkids.. to see the Joy of the little ones.. she wouldn't budge... the one before that broke it off because she wouldn't vote , she let me read the letters , I thought they made good points..
My last GF was my sweetheart from JR high, I bought her a ring when we were 12, we hooked up on FB, then she moved in, Iwas prepared to celebrate everything.. I told her I loved christmas... lied .. then the first holiday that came up was Mothers day.. she said you have to call your Mother.. I started to explain.. she DIDN"T Believe me, she thought I was making it up, to get out of calling.. I started a fight.. Iwish I would have just called now and offened my Mom.. LOL anyway she is Gone now for other reason, and I am alone again..
I don't know where I'll find my soul mate I'm interested in a girl now who is buddist.. I know I could never be with anyone real religious..
Ex JW is still a consideration... but not to keen after reading some posts on here... Just sarted reading CCMC.. so I have some work to do with me first, my doal is to become a new me and find 'true love'like in the Princess Bride..LOL
TT..
LOL Tater...just watched that movie last night. BF had never seen it so we bought it a couple of weeks ago and he has since watched it about 4 times LMAO.
If holidays are uncomfortable for you, maybe learning the history behind them (the real history, not the WTBTS revisionist history) will help. I don't celebrate Christmas as the birth of Christ or anything like that (Atheist...and not even 100% sure that he existed). I enjoy secular Christmas and some of the Pagan roots play a part for me as well. I see it as a time to enjoy family, to give, and to share love.
Something that helped me a lot in my relationship was explaining JW's to my boyfriend. He was (and is) genuinely curious about that part of my past because it has shaped who I am in a way. Letting him know that certain things were still tough for me because of it has eased a lot of potential issues. If you see a relationship forming and becoming serious, maybe letting the person in and telling them about it will help them to be more understanding. Because, to an outsider who doesn't know about that part of you, not calling your mom on Mother's Day just makes you look like a bad person who doesn't give a crap about his mom. It looks weird. Not celebrating certain things and not being able to explain why something makes you uncomfortable only makes a person look like a sensitive weirdo to someone who is ignorant of the triggers from your past, know what I mean? So when you have let someone in enough, make it a point to discuss it. Hell, a lot of times people will tell you right off the bat what religion they are or were raised in. That's a great opportunity to explain.
Also...perhaps doing a bit more healing for yourself is in order before involving someone else. You mentioned reading CCMC...read Releasing the Bonds as well.
