I feel sad when someone relatively new on this board signs off because they have been offended by some posters comments

by smiddy 43 Replies latest jw friends

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  smiddy

  Many people who" become JW`s" through the ministry are people who are , at the time , in a vulnerable state.{ lets face it had you been in your right mind you would never have accepted it right ?}

  Many of the people who are" born in" are by that very fact vulnerable they never had a chance and were indoctrinated from an early age .

  Of course their going to have a lot of issues to deal with that history shows can take many years to shake off,if at all.

  All I`m saying is I think we should give people a lot more space,and allow them to see the bigger picture that we can show them on this site,Give them time to absorb the information thats available on this site,some of the things you learn here is a bit much to take in at first,beleive me I`ve been their

  I would appreciate your comments

  smiddy
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  steve2

  That is a worthy aim. It must be a shock for some to post here for the first time and get roasted. On the other hand, I think most new posters are welcomed and have their accounts validated. Now and then a new poster appears to be baiting readers or preaching or both. While there's no excuse for total rudeness (see Posting Guidelines) there have been times when new posters have taken sharp exception to being questioned or criticsed. In the final analysis, this is not a uniform group of posters so you're bound to get a range of responses. But I do agree that, in the main, new posters should be welcomed.
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  bigmouth

  Be aware too that when someone posts a comment you naturally create a persona for them. You read their post in a 'voice' that fits one of your world experiences, and if that 'voice' conjures up a bad memory then the poster may get a harsh response from you.

  You don't know them. You can't see a wink or a smile. You can't gauge tone of voice or inflection.

  They may not put their idea over well if their English isn't too good.

  We all need to behave better toward each other than Witnesses do. It shouldn't be hard.

  Bigmouth. Whoreally isn't a big mouth.
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  Broken Promises

  I think most new posters are warmly welcomed and have their stories validated.

  The only time I see hostility is when they start telling stories that don't add up, so posters become suspicious that the new poster is either trolling or just not being honest with the group.

  This is a pretty laid-back website. You can't expect posters to act Disney-fied or have the fake Witness smiles for everyone. We all have a variety of backgrounds and will thus have a variety of responses. And variety is the spice of life!
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  Aussie Oz

  I know i would be very cautious about having my kids on here...

  i would clue them up to what to expect first!

  facebook battles between teenagers have some merit as it teaches them that not everyone will agree or like them, and that the internet is not always a friendly place.

  Oz
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  Azazel

  I agree with you smiddy and the other commenters too. It's really a big deal for an active JW to come to the forum or a newly DF/DA or just faded. I figure if theirunder 100 posts they have theirL plates on. Ps till 1000 then your at a level to say what you mean. I agree BP that some come out all guns blazing at us or speak (as an active JW) in non WTS terminology and thats suspicious. I do love nothing more than a good Troll hunt now and then but i feel all new comers here receive a fair and warm welcome and we extend a measure of trust in their word untill they may prove otherwise.

  Smiddy was this thread in part over chemical emotions? i beleive someone roasted her, she is so young only 17 and in a difficult relationship.

  Az

  PS is it just us Aus/NZers who care for newbies?
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  soft+gentle

  people make throwaway comments on this board and these comments are then understandably taken very seriously if the person asking for help is in a bad place. This happens in real life too - but at least then you can see who is making the comment and you can evaluate their facial expression. A young person would probably say what do you know about me you middle-aged so and so and promptly forget about their comment. I tell my daughter to say this in her mind all the time when elderly and middle-aged authoritarians upset her. If she thinks that they are partly saying something wise and useful then take that on board but throw away the rest.

  the wts taught us thought control didn't they - even as babies. This is still a useful skill to use against those who upset us inordinately.
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  steve2

  It is sometimes rich when a new poster slyly or more openly calls into question the integrity of ex-JWs on this forum with sweeping negative statements. They then become all shocked and hurt when those he or she has maligned react. Those sorts of new posters must expect that, if you attack people's integrity, they'll defend themselves - and for some that may include telling the new comer to "sod off". By sharp contrast, I have never ever seen a case where a newbie comes onto the forum and tells their story from their heart and then been subjected to rude responses.To a last one, they are usually given a warmly receptive welcome.
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  bigmouth

  "PS is it just us Aus/NZers who care for newbies?" - Azazel

  No, it's just that as the Kiwis and Aussies are on their computers thinking about bed, the other countries are coming up behind us to carry on the love.
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  VampireDCLXV

  Some assholes here have tried to run me off from time-to-time BUT I don't leave or stay at anyone's pleasure. I come and go as I damn well please!

  V665