by karter 35 Replies latest jw friends
My EX and i have a legal divorce.
She asked me to write a letter to the B.O.E so she can get a Scriptual divorce.
She said she had spoken to the C.O.B.E ans they would take no action against me as i haven't been to a meeting in about 12 years.
My reply "OK Get him to put that in writing"
So do you think they will put that in writing?
And would they take action if i did write the letter giveing her a scriptual divorce?
Karter.
It's unlikely that they will bother after 12 years but I'm sure they won't put it in writing. They will probably file your letter in case you ever went back.
Why would they accomodate you by signing an agmt? They are all powerful. If you are not a Witness, you are not enitlted to any civility. Heck, they don't show it to active JWs.
Divorce on what grounds? Sorry I do not want to be curious but I guess it will count for them. No fornication no scriptural divorce. Fornication = the offender gets kicked out if not repentant (provided he was a baptized JW). If you never were a baptized JW nothing to fear about.
Do you want to participate in their system and follow their rules?
Cofty: It's unlikely that they will bother after 12 years but I'm sure they won't put it in writing. They will probably file your letter in case you ever went back.
I respectfully disagree. If you put something in writing to the elders then you are acknowledging their position of authority and/or the postion of the Congregation as having authority over you. You have once again begun to "play by their rules". Additionally, it would look bad for your ex-wife to just "take up" with some other man, when there is no evidence of your infidelity. With the evidence "in hand" it would just be a matter of routine for the Elders to DF you, thereby giving here the "go ahead". Done and over. How could you appeal? You provided the evidence.
Put it in writing? Do you recall how good the word of the GB posse was with Ray Franz? We'll give you a recording of the meeting. We won't give you a recording. We'll give you a transcript of the recording. We won't give you a transcript. Theocratic warfare wins again.
Doc
KARTER- I wouldn't trust the elders as far as I could spit. Believe me. I wouldn't trust that the elders would not take action against you. I think they would ! Especially if you put it in writing that you committed adultery giving your ex-wife " scriptural freedom ". I would NOT provide anything to them. You don't owe them ANY information about your personal life, AND you don't owe your ex-wife ANY information about your personal life. If you don't want ANY hassles or interference from elders in your life - then don't say anything or sign anything.
The elders will NOT protect you or put ANYTHING in writing guaranteeing you they won't DF you. They are smarmy, you cannot trust them. And - yes- they WOULD take action against you if they found out you gave her scriptural freedom . Look buddy- I was inactive for almost 4 years not attending meetings living 80 miles away from where I attended last - and they came after me ! You cannot trust these men. If you are still in contact with JW relatives or friends whom you want to REMAIN in contact with- do NOT give your power over to these elders or agree to anything. Just my 2 cents
I wouldn't put a damn thing in writing for these people. Go on and live your life. If your ex wants to date and re-marry (highly possible if she's asking for a statement from you that you've been with someone else), then she can do so without you being involved. I wouldn't give them a minute of my time or the ink from one of my 50 cent pens. In time, if she finds you've been with someone else (you re-marry or start living with someone, for example) then she will be free according to their rules to pursue a relationship with someone else. But just because SHE wants to play by their rules, that does not mean you have to...nor does it mean you have to do anything to accomodate or placate her. You live your life, she can live hers.
Don't do it.
I agree, don't do it. First they lie all the time and if you confess to adultery they probably will df you. Why would they not? I knew a boe that used testimony from 2 eyewitness of inappropriate behavior at a party from 25 yrs prior and used it to df someone.
Look out for yourself first unless you just don't care. I would not let them do this to me for my reputations sake firstly and secondly let her abide by the rules she lives with. If you marry she has proof.
