by Fernando 32 Replies latest watchtower medical
Not anymore ... I feel sad for them though ...
At the beginning when I became enraged and agitated at sight of them, like wanting to tear the magazines in their faces, I thought it was a "demon" inside of me LOL ... once I found out about PTSD and cults everything changed ... now I pray for them ...
the Body Snatchers (1978)
Wow.....I know that Donald Sutherland look. That's the look of a JW out in FS spotting an apostate.
Think About It
Fernando; Ptsd, Panic attacks, sever anxiety disorder,
you name it I had it.
My problem, unaware at the time, Ptsd from Vietnam.
So when I left the JW,s it all came down with A vengeance.
After I begain my treatment with the Veteran Administration
Psychoanalysis things begain to improve. He told me I need
to face my fears, my time in Nam and my life as A JW.
For years when I saw my JW family members I would
have A panic attack, sometimes it would literally cause me to
pass out (unconscious). I thought Nam was bad but these
people had more of A devastateing effect then Vietnam.
Today I still some anxiety when they come to my door, but
nothing like years ago.
I have been out of the organization - oops I meant cult - for at least 3 years now. No one comes to my door when they're working my street. They know I have a goatee and that I have joined another church. But a couple of weeks ago I was about a block away from my house, walking home, when an elder and his wife were driving by. They slowed down, honked the horn, waved and smiled. (Maybe they never got the memo.) They seemed to be very happy to see me. I smiled and waved back. (Maybe they count that as a shepherding call now?)
Maybe it can help if you think of the witnesses and elders as coworkers and bosses from a job you quit long ago. Back when you worked for that company you obeyed that boss, and you supported the philosophies/goals of that company. You took pride in your job and recommended that company to other people. But then you quit that job and have been working in an entirely different career for many years. If you now see the old boss walking down the street, you know you have no connection to him or to that company; you don't care if that company is doing well or not because it has no effect on your life now.
^^ I like the former job anology.
Although for us with family still in, it's not as easy to walk away when our familes are still working for that company. And the company is spreading lies about the conduct of ex-employees and telling family members not to talk to the ex-employees.
No, absolutely not, this site has changed my mind forever, calmness has been replaced by fear. Thank you brother Waldo and JWN, you work
wonders for the average JW (probably going to be a JW dropout but I still love Jehovah and Jesus and teach the Bible. Just don't like men and women
who think they are better than us, or judge us as wicked for not obeying men.)
BTW, I ran into two regular pioneers who were staring at my goatee, it was ackward for them, not for me.
FERNANDO: No, it does not. Especially after eleven years of being a "fader". They are strangers from the past and have no relevance in my life. The best feeling anybody can have is "neutral". I don't feel hatred and I don't feel pity either. If they ever came to my door they would be dismissed like any other salesperson or nuisance. If they tried to get on their "high horse" I would laugh and tell them to Begone.
I would turn into a zombie.. They magnets they put into my head would activate .. and I could think straight for hours.. days..
I'm indifferent because I haven't seen one that I knew for about 8 years. If I saw one that I knew I might feel something.
W
