Did your spirituality improve after confessing to wrongdoing?

by jwfacts 34 Replies latest jw experiences

  • DonutZ!
    DonutZ!

    Hey thats my thread!

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    It's actually about releasing shame and guilt. When I first became a witless, I disabled the Christmas lights where I work (which is easy if you pull one of the leads out of each set of bulbs on the circuit on just one bulb per circuit, so it doesn't make contact). I got yelled at and required to fix the lights, which I easily did. The fixing them was supposedly celebrating Christmas. Yet, none of the other witlesses found out about that incident.

    What that did was the guilt from that (the fixing the lights, not disabling them) interfered with my field circus. Of course, I had been in a stagnation rut for several months prior to that, but I blamed the Christmas light incident for it. I never let the hounders know about it, since I thought all I had to do was not touch such lights in the future (which is the primary basis for repentance--not doing the offense in the future). Had I confessed, that might have "closed" the problem. It might have led to a hounding session, since that was the last time that happened. Or a private reproof--for an isolated act of celebrating Christmas. But, either way it would have assuaged the guilt until they decided to take up the matter again in the future.

    Either way, I doubt it would have had lasting impact on my "spirituality" since the real issue wasn't the disabling of the Christmas lights or fixing them later.

  • Morbidzbaby
    Morbidzbaby

    LOL @ DonutZ!

    WTWizard, I find it funny that your guilt involved those Christmas lights...yet this recent Christmas, your comments on the decorating were very in-depth lol. Funny how things change, isn't it?

    As for jwfacts' topic, within myself I always thought that certain "sins" weren't necessary to confess. Sins where you weren't hurting anyone else, only yourself, could be brought to Jehovah himself (who I questioned the existance of anyway, but still cried and prayed to once in a great while just in case). Sins involving someone else...it depends on if they would be hurt by it or if they saw it as a sin at all.

    For instance: My last JC, I confessed to the elders. At the time that I confessed, I felt it might hold me back spiritually because I was trying to strengthen myself. It took way too long to set up the JC and I ended up coming back here in the interim. So when the JC finally happened, I really didn't feel sorry or guilty. When I left at the end of it, I didn't feel any weight lifted or an improvement in my spirituality. I was just relieved it was FINALLY DONE after so many months of waiting!

    So, no, my spirituality didn't improve...Actually, it didn't ANY time I had to be in a JC (I've had 3). I walked out of there feeling no different, thinking no differently than I did before. Just glad I got through them unscathed at the time.

  • its_me!
    its_me!

    I confessed sins with a completely repentant heart , no one was going to tell on me, no one knew what I had done, I confessed all on my own. I was ridiculed, degraded, and mentally and psychologically raped for hours by the elders in my hall. That was the beginning of my departure from the JW religion. The way my situation was handled was so scarring, I still have trouble forgiving them...

  • truth_b_known
    truth_b_known

    No.

    In fact, it started me down the road to being completely inactive.

    As a 30+ born-in witness, myself and my wife confessed to the elders. It wasn't sex, but it was related. It took place between our engagement and our actual wedding. Long story short; I was privately reproved for something it would be impossible for me to do again. I would have to be single again to do it.

    The elders on my judicial committee said it was to punish me. The explained I had to be punished. This confused me.

    Punishment is part of discipline and discipline is a form of correcting. Punishment is usually used for repeat offenders while counselling on a first time offense may be all the discipline a person needs.

    Like I said, it would be impossible for me to commit the "sin" I committed, again. So, why was there a need for punishment. If I was unrepentant I would be disfellowshipped.

    I found out later that the elders on my judicial committee were relatively new and none of them were born-in Witnesses. I also found out that they had no clue what they were doing because I had all my privileges restored and they said they would not mention it to the body elders of my home congregation when I moved back. I found out that they were not allowed to do that.

    I knew then that the whole thing was BS.

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    The first time I "confessed" I didn't improve. As a matter of fact, I only went to a few more meetings, then became inactive for 2 years. I wasn't DF'd, but privately reproved.

    When I decided I wanted to go back, I knew I had some more 'splainin' to do, and I actually told the elders that, but also told them I wasn't ready to talk to them. They didn't push, which surprised me. I didn't go out in service or answer though--to show "respect" for that arrangement. So when I felt ready, I was simply relieved that I had got it over with and could then move forward.

    I never thought in terms of whether I was blessed or if holy spirit was with me---it simply felt like a duty I had to get over with. I have a guilty conscience anyway, so I couldn't have gone on for long without the process. Since leaving, I don't struggle with guilt even a tenth as much as I used to. I don't feel the need to confess either. I can actually let most of the stuff go. I offer my apologies if someone else got hurt, and move on. I certainly don't need 3 men in a room to tell me I'm clean. For that matter, I no longer think in terms of clean and unclean, or right and wrong. Just do my best not to hurt others, and the rest is small stuff. I'm not in need of redemption, because I don't believe anymore anyway.

    NC

  • clearpoison
  • outsmartthesystem
    outsmartthesystem

    "Tec, good point. Confession to god is a totally different experience than being grilled by a couple of older men, wanting graphic detail about indiscretion."

    Unfortunately though.....the society has done a hell of a job obscuring the two. to a witness....the only way to confess to God is THROUGH the interrogation of a judicial committee. How witnesses convince themselves that this is a "loving" procedure is beyond my comprehension

  • dog is god
    dog is god

    hen I was 19, almost 20 I was working and living on my own. I had a date with a guy I was crazy about one night but I went over to pay my rent to the apt mgr across the way. He offered to make me a martini and after 2 closed the drapes so I couldn't see my date come. I was VERY naive then. It ended up a rape. I confessed to the overseer. It turned into a horrendous situation. He accused me of being immoral and commettee meetings ensued. At one point he said, " I knew your mother should not have let you go to Mexico when you were younger". They decided to put me on "Probation" (what they used to do back in the day) which was announced from the podium accompanied by "watch your association with her". THEN he had a secret meeting with my mom giving her THEIR opinion of me. Since I didn't know about this meeting I didn't know why my mom took such a turn in feelings for me. We somewhat straightened it out 55 years later. I was deeply shamed but stayed because I was convinced I deserved it. So no, I did not feel better.

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    D.I.G. --- That's a heartbreaking story.

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