How Many Out There Have to Hide or Be Stealthy When They Visit This Site? I know I do.

by PaintedToeNail 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • DesirousOfChange

    Desirous-I know what you mean, my hubby keeps saying 'where else would we go', I keep saying 'it says who, not where'. He has gotten uber JW the last few months, even though he agrees with most of what I tell or he cannot answer my questions. He is buying the propaganda too. I'm hoping he is just having a fit of zealousness and that it will wear off in time. Over the years he has never been spiritual.

    Painted, yet I understand their delima. If you are just wanting to fade, then you cannot go to anywhere else, that is, you could NOT change religions or "churches". That would def bring the JC calling. You could NOT "preach" any other doctrine or even voice your doubts or concerns, as that would soon make the gossip mill and again bring in the JC. You could NOT change your lifestyle as far as holidays or birthdays publicly, or that will bring them a-calling. Sadly, many have been watched and spied upon by their own family and reported for any such activity, bringing on the JC. You can go months or years without a shepherding call when you are sick, depressed, or just absent, but LOOK OUT! they are always available to keep the congregation clean!!!


  • PaintedToeNail

    DOC-How right you are. I now have people calling me and inviting me to do things that they never bothered to invite me to before. The interesting thing is, I do not feel any desire at all of being with them. I only wish there were people from here nearby.

    I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I contemplate my life without my kids and spouse (due to shunning, should it come to it), and I see a lonely life indeed.

  • DesirousOfChange

    I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I contemplate my life without my kids and spouse (due to shunning, should it come to it), and I see a lonely life indeed.

    I feel sorry for the people who have little or no life left to enjoy due to giving it all for an empty promise of never growing old. Esp the ones like those being cast aside at Bethel or those who gave up having children or pursuing secular goals in life and now are looking at an empty cup.


  • DaCheech

    My wife's ok with it, she's even ok with me looking at porn.

    I turn the other way, when she's looking at soap opera's and (enrique iglesias/gianluca grignani/eros)

  • d

    Only a few people I know, know that I post on here think goodness that have alias so that in a sense their is still some secrecy.

  • Crisis of Conscience
    Crisis of Conscience

    LOL @ DaCheech!!

  • undercover

    I have no other outside sources for friendship or comraderie-so this site is a lifeline for me.

    I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I contemplate my life without my kids and spouse (due to shunning, should it come to it), and I see a lonely life indeed.

    First of all, take one day at a time.

    You're not lonely have a husband and kids. Enjoy them now. Even with the differences, you can focus on what drew you to each other and on your children.

    Even if the worst was to happen, being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely. Start now in taking up hobbies, getting out more, doing more. While home and family are number one now, you can still have outside interests. If they family unit were to dissolve, it would be easier to get out and about if you already had a social network in place outside the family.

    Don't let this place be your only lifeline. While it may be one of the few places where the majority of people understand the JW angle of life, being on this board is not a substitute for getting out and meeting new people, making new friends and experiencing things in your community. This place is a great place for support but it shouldn't be your only contact with the outside world.

    Easier said than done, I know. It's really tough when you think you're the only one around that "knows" the lies of the WTS. But if you take up new things in life, things that have nothing to do with religion or faith, you start to meet new people who don't know anything about your past as a JW, nor really care. You start to move away from the JW lifestyle...and obsessing on it... and you look forward to your new hobbies, new interests, new friends. I did it. And it was slow at first...and there are times even now that I feel like the odd person out because of being raised the way I was. But those times/instances are becoming more and more rare.

    Good luck...

  • PaintedToeNail

    undercover-Thank you. I have been attempting to do new things. Meeting new people is the most difficult thing, as I am not naturally gregarious, to say the least. I have reconnected with several 'worldly' friends, but nearest one lives 400 miles away.

    I've order some self-help books on what career you want to do in life and how to achieve it...I look forward to reading it. I am smack in middle age, and I still don't know what I want to do, lol! I blame alot of that on being a JW, as one was not supposed to have 'worldly' ambitions. I am trying to overcome my upbringing, but it will probably be an ongoing process until the day I die.

    Until I'm able to establish better and new friendships, this place means alot to me!

  • Hiding Questioner
    Hiding Questioner

    "Imagine if a car salesman said he had the best car in the world and that you will love it, just hand over your life and it's yours to drive ... Oh yeah and you re not allowed to read or hear anyone else's opinion of the car. Would you buy it?"

    I too must sneak at both my lurking and posting activities with my wife, who got very upset one day when she found me lurking. To this day she does not know that I sometimes post. Speaking of cars, I love cars and she knows it, So, I like the example I gave her re my feelings on the WT. Imagine you spent your life loving BMWs (WT) and thought they were the greatest/best/safest cars in the world. You would trust your life and your kids lives with this car. Then one day you get a job working on the BMW assembly line (Bethel) or at your neighborhood BMW dealer (Congregation) and from this you find out that for years BMW has been knowlingly installing cheap faulty brake lines in their vehicles and refused to fix them. These were internal problems that the average customer (R&F JWs) would not notice as the brakes worked fine until failures happened. Your illusions over the BMW car would be forever changed/crushed and you could no longer drive (or even ride in one) without of both fear, anger and disgust.


  • out4good3

    I never wasn't any good at playing that "incognito" thing when I was making my way out of that farce of a religion. I let her, my wife, and elders at her behest know, on more than a few occasions, that there would be no browbeating or guilt tripping when they dared try to project authority over me.

    I guess I'm LUCKY I haven't been announced as "no longer a JW" yet!!!! ROFL.

    But, working in the computer industry, I've always had my own laptops I didn't have to share with anyone to surf with.

    One day my wife happened to pick up my laptop and call herself using it. She opened up the browser and the first page to come up was from this site. She was irritated to say the least, but didn't say anything to me outright in defense of her cherished religion.....just kept reiterating over and over for awhile that if I wanted "real" information about the witnesses that I shouldeither read their material or ask one.


    I guess she'd forgotten that I was baptised as one and actually believed it for awhile. Furthermore, after living with her playing the little zealous witness for about 20 years at that time, I was well aware of how they will "soft-pedal" what really goes on when it reflects badly upon their organization.

    One day, my BIL was over my house and picked up my laptop and started using it. He proclaimed to his staunch JW wife "look, they have Russel's will on this site!!!" She was not amused and I'm sure she gave him holy hell after they left.

    My wife has learned to stay off of my electronic devices, my phones and computers. I fully support her in her activities, she knows, as long as they don't interfere with what I want to do for myself or big activities I plan for the two of us. She's fully aware of how I feel about religion in general and the WT soceity in particular to not go there with me under any circumstances.

    I guess I've drydocked her much too many times in the past when she's tried challenging me with WT dogma.

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