My 1-Year Anniversary as a JWN Member

by dontplaceliterature 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  dontplaceliterature

  @ BOTR

  I wouldn't say I worry about it. There is no sense in worrying about something I have no control over, I suppose. But it is a shame that there are probably some lost Jehovah's Witnesses out there who could have been helped by us but were scared back into The Organization when they came across this site. The radical/exceptional/sensational topics that are highlighted on this forum and the emotion with which they are sometimes brought to the fore may only confirm in the minds of Jehovah's Witnesses that apostates are dark, satanic, slanderous, and hateful. In the words of my wife: "I've read some of the things people write on their, and they are childish and crazy!"

  I appreciate your thought that this thread is as much for us as it is for anyone else. It is nice to see new members join the forum and it would be nice to have even more joining. However, we also need a place to vent and express anger sometimes. It would be nice if people were more careful about posting angry or extreme topics in public parts of the forum. I'm sure I'm just as guilty as the next guy/gal.
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  Azazel

  Az
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  Black Sheep

  However, the reality of losing my family and destroying them emotionally in the process brings me crashing back down to Earth.

  Ah

  Scuse me .... but ...

  ... we are not the guilty party.

  It's a tough job to dance through the hoops the WT has set up as traps for our families, but it's not impossible. It takes time and patience.

  Never ask your missus anything that she has an answer for that doesn't require resorting to some kind of blatant dishonesty that you can easily accuse her of.

  Teach your kids critical thinking. Teach them not to compartmentalise. They should be allowed, and able, to trash you if you talk crap.

  My wife is in no way interested in learning anything negative about the organization, has no desire to leave, and will not talk to me about it. As some of you know, it's very hard not to be able to share your most intimate struggle with your closest friend and partner.

  I know. Very well. You are not alone in that struggle.

  I wish you all the best for the new year.

  Chris
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  leavingwt

  Happy Anniversary!

  My how time flies.
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  breakfast of champions

  Enjoyed reading your one year anniversary* post. Have had many of the same thoughts and feelings you have experienced over the past year as well. I also wonder at times if I am just dragging things out by staying "undercover" in hopes of preserving my family, and yes, not being able to freely express myself to my own wife is frustrating, and I often wonder how long it can last. There are glimmers of hope, though. I KNOW my wife has doubts - big ones - with regards to the org. She has seen the ugliness first hand. But in the end, I think it all boils down to "the hope" and not wanting to give it up for nothing but the uncertainty and ambiguity that is our world. She always has sad that she lives in denial, and that has never been truer than now. But I hope she has enough of an open mind that ultimately it will all be worth it.

  Really the best thing I did when I figured out this was all BS was enroll in college, just as I should have 23 years ago. The first semester was great fun, I learned a whole lot, and I am looking forward to building this new framework for my life. Perhaps if you haven't gone to school already, you might want to give it a try- it has helped me immensely.

  Good luck in the coming year!

  * thanks to "semantic bleaching" it is perfectly appropriate to use the term "anniversary" with reference to any time period, whether its days, weeks, or even a year.
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  Bangalore

  Happy anniversary.

  Bangalore
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  its_me!

  Not Placing--- I have been here almost two years now, and I have changed a great deal as well. It is so painful when you cannot discuss these things with the closest members of your family. My parents and little brother are devout. My mother suffers great depression and is on three different anti-depressants, (which aren't working by the way). I feel very strongly that if she was not in the Org. she would not suffer so badly. I am grateful for this forum and the people that post here, I have learned so much, but it hurts to be alienated from one's family. I sincerely hope that your family, as well as mine and all those here who have family members that are devout in the JW religion, come to the realizations that we all have. I hope that for everyone who is in and miserable. Glad to have you here, and I hope to hear much more from you in the future.
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  Vidqun

  DPL, now that I have read both your threads, I am more up to date. Here's a bit of advice. Even if you do not believe in the Bible anymore, do take an active interest in it, even if though it might only be academic. This will help you stay "in contact" with your wife. The complaint of most of those that have an unbelieving mate, are that they are unable to discuss "spiritual things" with them. And be careful to not be overly negative, because that will really stifle the relationship. My two cents, for what it's worth. Happy anniversary!
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  dontplaceliterature

  @Vidqun

  Thanks for the advise. Mum is the word with regard my true feelings about The Bible/God around my wife. We still study and discuss publications together. It gives me an opportunity to plant seeds, and I'm not going to give that up just yet.
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  outsmartthesystem

  DPL - You have a message