My observation, the "threefold cord" actually weakens a marriage (page 3)

undercover

Good topic.

Interesting read... and I see what you're saying Robert. I think you're right. Our marriage got re-defined once I left the religion behind. Not purposely, not planned; but we learned to be a couple on our own... a twofold cord, not a threefold one. And there was an adjustment. But once we got through it, that twofold cord was pretty darn strong.

Not only that but removing that third cord allowed us to intertwine our two cords even tighter togehter, relying on each other instead of on an imaginary third cord.

Giordano

We married when she was 16 and I had turned 18. We pioneered together for about 2 & 1/2 years until we just got bored with the whole witness thing...it stopped making any sense to us. However we really couldn't fade......... I held three major positions in a very small congregation and our families were in. So we decided to move out of the area and just drop out. Since I was also the publisher's card servant (whatever it was called........this was in the 1960's) I sort of took our Pub Cards with me....oops where did those cards go to?

Soon after relocating we really started to open our minds and look at life differently. Our son came along about then and our family was dedicated to knowledge, art, music etc. We celebrated our 48 anniversay together in November. Having been and still are artists during those years we worked together on the business side of things. My wife was recently invited to have a one person show at a very fine museum which opened just a few days ago and will run until Feb 19. It would have been very difficult to explore what we were interested in and grow as persons, travel and worked at what became our profession if we didn't walk ourselves out when we did.

Magwitch

I believe a lot of witnesses will marry any available witness as long as they have a beating heart. It does not matter that they have absolutely NOTHING in common, because they believe they love Jehovah, they will put Jehovah first and Jehovah will in turn bless the marriage even though they NOTHING in common.

Speaking from experience when you have nothing in common it just does not work.

elderelite

Yes. To everything u said in the op. Especially the part about how a paradise right around the corner makes u ignore serious problems cause they are about to go away... Yes big time to that. The day i woke up is the day my divorce started

flipper

ROBERT 7 - Excellent thread ! Well done. I really agree with your thoughts and sentiments. As one who was married 19 years as a former JW to a fanatic JW woman myself I can attest to everything you are saying.

To me the added problem was the WT society deceived JW's into thinking that just because you had the alleged " TRUTH " in common - that any other problems would just work themselves out if you put " Jehovah first " in your marriage. Really a crock of poo-poo . Totally untrue. It caused JW couples to ignore differences that arose due to family environment differences in how they were raised , or extreme personality differences which may indicate a couple are just not a good fit as a couple and shouldn't be together ! But the alleged " magic pill " of being a Witness was thought to be a cure-all for bad marriages.

I have since found in my own life anyway ( with my current marriage of 5 years ) that a good marriage is based on love, respect, and many varied and common interests we share together - not just ONE interest of sharing a religious belief. I have learned it takes a lot of meshing variables that come together in a positive way with a man and woman - and not just one thing that keeps them together. Authentic , unconditional love is the answer. Not " cult conditional love. " Peace out, Mr. Flipper

wha happened?

As long as the third cord is not anything that has to do with the WTB&TS

flipper

The 3 fold cord actually ends up being the husband, the wife, and the WT society in actuality- not God. One reason the GB and elders are so interested in what happens in JW's bedrooms

Robert7

It's another source of control, and in fact may be their strongest. A marital relationship is the core of your life, and if the WT has control over that, they have control over you! Disgusting.

WTWizard

That "third cord" becomes the boss in a marriage. You are limited in what you can do, and field circus always takes so much of your time that there isn't enough left to enjoy anything. Stagnation is the goal of that "third cord", as Jehovah seems to get his jollies out of making people miserable.

bats in the belfry

Robert7 > I've heard people say (not sure if I've seen it in writing) that you cannot love your spouse unless they love Jehovah first.

My guess is, that's how the WTS wants them to think, although I could not find anything in their official publications. God/WTS always comes in third place - with husband and wife being primary and secondary string. No other strings attached!

True it is, “two are better than one . . . For if one of them should fall, the other one can raise his partner up.” But better still is “a threefold cord,” for it “cannot quickly be torn in two.” More than anything or anyone else that can help you to have your marriage like a threefold cord, strong—and also happy—is having God as the third strand to your marriage cord.—Eccl. 4:9-12.

Awake!72 2/22 p. 8 Is God in Your Marriage?

Thus, if marriage partners really love each other, not just physically but also because of the other partner’s spiritual qualifications, and have deep respect for God, he becomes a third party in the contract. In this way marriage ties are greatly strengthened, for as the Bible says, “a threefold cord cannot quickly be torn in two.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12) Asking God to be a third party can be the greatest help to those planning to marry. It can also transform many miserable marriages into happy ones.

Awake!82 6/8 p. 12 Is This Divorce Necessary?

Nevertheless, the son will have to balance respect for his parents with the necessity of being head of his own household if he is to have Jehovah as the third strand in the symbolic ‘threefold cord that is not easily torn in two.’—Ecclesiastes 4:12.

w87 2/1 p. 6 Following Bible Principles — The Superior Way

The strongest friendships are founded on a love for Jehovah. King Solomon wrote: “If somebody could overpower one alone, two together could make a stand against him. And a threefold cord cannot quickly be torn in two.” (Eccl. 4:12) When Jehovah is the third cord in a friendship, that friendship will endure.

w09 10/15 p. 18 par. 3 Maintaining Friendships in a Loveless World

My observation, the "threefold cord" actually weakens a marriage

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