Love amongst the "brothers"

by Thirdson 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    dyan4help welcome to the board

    I'm sorry to hear about your financial hardship you are now going through besides the emotional abuse by that "lovin" jw family. I hope you will be able in the future obtain the money that is owed you.
    Please know that we are here to help you work through all the emotions you must be going through, widow, single parent, leaving a mind control group, money "stolen" from you. Sometimes just talking with others who understand helps clear the air for you to put things in order of priority. I'm glad you found this place and please feel free to jump in with your knowlegde and experinces in life.

    j2bf

  • chauncey
    chauncey

    From my studies of the Bible; Jehovah has always picked a people to do his will so to speak.

  • California Sunshine
    California Sunshine

    Dyan4help!

    IF THERE IS ANY SHAME TO BE CARRIED, IT IS BY THOSE HYPOCRITICAL MORONS (CO, PO, ELDERS, PO'S WIFE, ET. AL) THAT YOU HAD THE MISFORTUNE
    DEALING WITH IN YOUR CONGREGATION!

    YOU, my dear, were manipulated at a very vunerable time in your life.
    That "PO", and his wife, conspired to STEAL from a widow! My stomach is turning at the thought. So glad you had a contract.

    Discredit jehovah's name, INDEED!

  • Undine
    Undine

    I learned quickly that going against the grain of what is deemed
    "right" will put you in a very lonely, unloving place, fast.

    I made the decision to divorce my elder huband, with out "scriptural
    grounds". (I'd been a "good sister" for nearly 25 years).

    To this day, the words of my lawyer ring in my ears and they were "Get
    a tight grip on your daughter because I believe your "husband" is going to do
    everything in his power to take her away from you."

    I told her that was preposterous! That my daughter and I were so close that
    he could never wedge between us!!!

    I was devastatingly wrong. When it became clear to the congregation that I
    was divorcing "one of the glorious ones" the cold shoulder began. My daughter was
    invited to "get togethers" with their moms but my child was invited alone, without
    me, through her father. My daughter was force fed so many negatives about me
    ("your mother is worldly, so we can't say hi to her" to her father's blatant "your mother does not love
    Jehovah" "talking to her is no better than talking to a worldly person off the street" etcetera, ad nauseum...)
    and she finally succumbed to turning entirely against me. She reached a point where she
    "believed" that she was afraid to be alone with me. (Of course I was snubbed by the elders and congregation,
    but that would have been a piece of cake to endure by comparison to seeing my daughter turn against me).

    I moved away and because we had joint custody I had a good feeling that getting her
    as far away from "them" as possible would do her and our relationship a world of good.

    But my x-husband did not and does not honor joint custody. He has been masterful at
    manipulating what was a natural and undeniable truth, that is, my daughters love for me, into
    nothingness. And all the while remaining a "pillar" in the congregation.

    I have gone from many different angles to try to get my daughter back and they have
    all been to no avail.

    "Love among the brothers". What a blatant lie.

    Undine

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Undine,

    Sorry to hear about your tribulations, losing the affections of your daughter. Losing the love of the morons in the congregation, that I can understand.

    But the natural love of your daughter was hijacked from you. That's what you get for taking a stand.

    You said your ex-husband doesn't honor the joint custody....Isn't there something your lawyer can do to enforce the custody arrangement? After all, it was set down in legally enforceable terms by a judge or court official, right? Isn't his denying such access to her on par with kidnapping? (Not to say that your reunion with your daughter would necessarily be easy, but hey, you gotta start somewhere!!)

    If I didn't get to see my daughter, I'd go nuts!! Best wishes to you.

    J.R.Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
    Mark Twain (1835-1910)

  • Undine
    Undine

    Gopher,

    How dear of you to respond...Thank you for that...
    I have gone through the ringer of working through the
    system...and it has been to no avail. I have had her removed
    from her fathers house via the police with court order in hand...
    I got her out that time but she was like a stranger. It killed me.
    That time I got her out, but another time he hid her at another
    elders house!!!!! I went there to his door with the only friend I had in town,
    and the "elder" with my daughter safely inside his wretched little house, had the nerve to point
    his finger at us and say: "DO YOU GO TO MEETINGS???" Then the police (whom I'd
    called) arrived, and the jw's ushered the police in the house while my friend and I stood on the doorstep in the cold, looking in.
    I could go on and on about the hellacious ordeals my daughter has been put through...frankly, I am probably
    talking too much...my god, the more I write the angrier I get...to be able to get it out and have a dialogue
    about it with people, who like me, are on "the outside" feels very good...it was/is so horrendous. And then, to hear my daughter screaming to them that she does not want to go with me!!!!!!! The police sided with the jws and eyed ME as though I was a wretched woman!!! I felt as though I was in some sort of surreal nightmare. The whole religious issue is practically incomprehensible to those (the police, in this particular case) who do not have a clue about JWs and their clannish closedness.

    I have, at great length explored the whole "Parental Alienation Syndrome" and I realize
    that it is not only jw's who are guilty of this crime, but for myself? I blame jws and their seamy judgemental mores.
    My x-husband being one of the petted elders in the whole sick arrangement!!!!!!!

    My lawyer has taken a stand with me and helped me as much as she can
    but she can only go so far without $$$ from me, and that I do not have, to the degree
    I would need to take the whole matter back to court.

    I have noone back there who could force my daughter out of the house. I could barely do it
    myself. What these "people" have done is the blackest and ugliest thing.

    You are so right Gopher, when you spoke of "denying access to her being on par with kidnapping"!!!!!!!!!!!
    First, she was emotionally kidnapped which paved the way for what was to follow.

    It is all so sick and so hard for me to believe and I have stuffed so much emotionally over the past few years.

    Thank you for saying this: "The natural love of your daughter was hijacked from you. That's what you get for taking a stand."
    Hearing these words come from someone who has been on the "inside" is like fresh water thrown on my face and makes me cry.
    THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

    Undine

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Undine,

    I am so sorry to hear the sad background story. It sounds like your daughter is still at a somewhat impressionable age. At some point when she exerts some independence, you may again have a chance to have the relationship with her that you both so deserve. May you have strength until then!

    J.R.Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
    Mark Twain (1835-1910)

  • Undine
    Undine

    Gopher,

    A thousand thanks~

    Undine

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit