Should i break up???

by Dudu 34 Replies latest social relationships

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    LOL you need a HUG!!! Big Hug


  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Why are you dating a guy who doesn't want to be around you?

    Move on.

  • 144001
    144001

    Dudu,

    In light of the brevity of your relationship (i.e., 4 months), the subordination of his interest in you to his desire to hang out with the guys is indicative of a level of interest in you that is inconsistent with your expectations/needs. Therefore, you must either reassess what sort of relationship you need/expect, live with feeling unfulfilled/unhappy, or move on.

    My advice? Move on.

  • Dudu
    Dudu

    You guys are right ... I deserve more, and im not even a demanding person ... i think ive been reasonable, not too demanding of his time but this is too much, he calls me , he is really nice when he is around, and has been after this friendship when he is changing, or maybe he is not so interest in me anymore ... anyways i need a deep breath

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    I don't think breaking up is the answer right now unless you're just looking for a reason or maybe you have good reason but are just now paying attention. Did he ask you to go with him? I would ask to go too. If he doesn't want you along you might have your answer

  • Dudu
    Dudu

    i need a hug mrsjones .........

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    ((((Dudu))))) trust me, you're gonna be ok

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    You'll be fine.......

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    Why aren't you going to the beach with him? Do the two of you also socialize with others as a couple? If not, I consider that a red flag. It's not healthy to have only each other socially. Do you not like the beach? Are you not invited? Not that you have to do EVERYTHING together, but this is just something to think about.

    Has this relationship reached the next level for you but not for him? What would you be doing if he didn't go to the beach? Could it be that he wants recreation, but you are more likely to choose something more sedentary? What do you think of his friends? What do his friends think of you? And what about your friends? Does he fit in?

    Love doesn't conquer all. There are some practical things to consider too. Lot's of questions to answer. This isn't a one question decision.

    NC

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    Besides, when he called me asking "permission" i told him it was ok, that he should do whatever he wants to .... and i hang up on him....

    Here is another thing to consider. This was pretty passive-aggressive behavior and will only push a person away. You said yes--but there was a penalty. If you meant that is was NOT okay with you, then why did you say yes? In my experience, this just drives men crazy. They are forced to guess at what we really want, but we don't give that to them. We simply give them the curt little "fine", and they know it's not fine, but they don't necessarily know why. In those cases, it's much easier to go off with friends than spend the day trying to get you to say what you mean.

    The fact is if you are worried that saying "no" it's not okay, and you think that will push him away, then ask yourself this: Do you want to walk on eggshells or get the real answer? If you say no, and he says well I can't accept that, then maybe that signals a problem. Maybe it will be a problem you can work out, or maybe you'll decide the gap is to wide to bridge, but either way, you WILL know. But passive aggressive games won't get you any closer to the answer.

    NC

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