by Terry 35 Replies latest jw experiences
Those who contribute the most to humanity often die, broke
What you have added to this forum, may be of no consolation. However, assisting others to improve their critical thinking, is nothing to disregard.
If we kept statistics on the amount of people you helped get over the hump, you would be surprised.
Thanks for sharing,
I agree with everyone above, your wife's death wasn't your fault Terry. (((((hug)))))
There are alot a sad human stories tied up with this religious cult.
One cant be too overly guilt ridden for their decisive actions in placing themselves as a devout member.
Its important to consider and realize the fear induced indoctrination that a person goes through when being drawn into this organization.
There are strong psychological elements to why people are lured to the JWS/WTS.
The core foundational doctrines of this publishing house is that which are made up of lies, ignorance and misrepresentation of facts.
Being that so, this religion can not help inflecting damage into peoples lives in real terms.
There is maligning corrupt business underneath this so called pure and righteous religion thats simply not obvious to some people
for they are not expecting of it or the corrupt procurement of power by the governing men at the top of the pyramid.
The reason I came here is to help people out escaping this unwholesome corruption and to promote people to help themselves
toward a better life, without the prevalence of fear, superstition and human ignorance as being their guiding direction.
We all make mistakes. I have made them, and innocent people hurt for my mistakes. But if someone came to YOU, with the story above, I don't think you would say anything differently to them than anyone here has said to you. So I hope you are treating yourself with the same mercy and understanding that you would treat others.
As for the warning though... good advice. I would give it also. Act. Do. Even if what you do is remaining patient and vigilant. Don't let someone else convince you to go-with-the-flow, when your heart and your gut is telling you that 'the flow' is bad for you and your loved ones.
Peace,
Tammy
I agree with the above advice , but there is a whole huge bunch of people "Going with the flow" and not rocking any boats etc. "for the sake of family "
How long will they hold their tongue and sit there in the K.Hall giving tacit support to the religion ?
How will they free their family, if the family think everything is O.K ?
What a waste of lives.
I've got to agree with you, wobble. The people that are just going through the motions of being a JW are wasting their lives and many times the lives of their children also.
I do appreciate the kind words of support and I must say I understand where you are coming from when you assuage my sense of culpability.
Here is why I feel I COULD have dones something.
As the husband of a JW wife I know she was more or less obligated to follow my lead...up to a certain point.
But, I never argued with her about the Society being wrong. Not at all!
There was a reason for that. I didn't think the Society WAS wrong!
I just thought the entire participation in Jehovah's Witnesses was a waste of my time!
I thought to myself that I was probably safe in slip sliding away because it was OBVIOUS to me Jehovah was not at all patrolling the pronouncements and policies they way others seemed to think.
I would just live quietly and mind my own business. Why should anybody at the Kingdom Hall bother me about it other than "encouragement"?
However...
One or two of the sisters at the Hall who came over to visit my wife were giving ME an earful!!
I remember one such conversation as though it were yesterday.
"You can't give your children what you don't have yourself. Do you want to be responsible for these three beautiful kids dying at Armageddon?"
I quickly replied:
"If you think that I think Jehovah has a hankering to destroy my beautiful children because I find the meetings boring and all the wacky date-setting ridiculous, then your Jehovah and my Jehovah aren't the same god!"
Of course, it make me pretty pissed off now reviewing it in my head!!
What happened to "sisters may not counsel the brothers"?? :)
No, my guilt has to do with the fact I WAS NOT A FAMILY LEADER. I slunk off and did my career thing and left the worship rituals to my wife --OBLIVIOUS that something was going on inside of her faith!!
I did NOT notice she had become alcoholic until it was too late.
Why?
I drank too! What was the big deal? I was a "responsible" JW drinker, if you know what I mean.
I would sit in my favorite chair and drink a Black Cow listening to Steely Dan every night while my wife worked the Night Shift in data processing.
My job was days and hers was nights.
When she would come home zonked I wouldn't notice it because she'd go right to sleep.
When the alcoholism suddenly became a REAL problem she would not listen to anybody or anything.
My window of opportunity had passed!
The situation was so impossible I moved out. Had I not done so I would have gone crazy and started breaking furniture or something I was so frustrated.
It took me years to calibrate the calculus of those final days...
I didn't have a clue.
I thought the Society was in Jehovah's favor, but, just "humanly" in error and prone to be over zealous about setting dates.
I found the meetings were soul-killing.
I blamed myself, mostly.
I eagerly faded.
Had I paid more attention to my own life, wife and situation I think I could have rallied a very hands-on confrontational meeting with the Congregation Overseer and my wife. But, that guy wasn't me. IT IS NOW, but, not back then.
I took the coward's way.
I escaped with being disfellowshipped and my wife became a persona non grata JW.
It seems awfully weird and incomprehensible NO judicial meeting every confronted her with her drinking!
WAY too hard on yourself Terry.
You are looking back with 20-20 hindsight and judging yourself based on what you DIDN'T know or understood at the time.
Can't do that as much as our "natural born guilt complex" wants us to.
There are times that our ego drives us to believe that we have more of an effect on the people around us, even those we love and depend on us, then we TRULY do.
What makes you think that IF you have been more of a leader that things woudl have turned out better and NOT worse?
We do the best we can at any given point of our life and that is the best we can do.
As much as we would like to "be God" and have this control on the lives of thers, we barely have control on OUR lives.
You know one of the great lessons of the bible that many people "skip over"?
People will do what they decide to do and even GOD can't stop them.
There is a huge lesson there.
Terry, most JW's bristle and go the opposite direction when you argue with them about the truth about the org. Even "submissive" wives. You may have caused a big rift by doing that. You can't bring your wife back by lamenting these things.
