Telling family / friends about researching JW religion

by dozy 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ding

    Punkofnice said:

    She refused to listen to anything even slightly negative about what she described as HER organization. We went thru' some odd conversations like: 'When we got married you were a JW so therefore you're not the same person I married!'

    I know another brother who went through the exact same thing.

    The wife wasn't gung ho.

    In fact, she was basically inactive and avoided going out in service as much as possible.

    Given her habitual inactivity, according to the WT's own teachings, she most likely stands to be wiped out at Armageddon.

    But it was "the truth," it was her religion, it was her identity.

  • leavingwt

    is this kind of reaction common?

    Yes, very common.

    JWs are trained to despise being unevenly yoked with unbelievers.

    Further, remember how important that STATUS is within high-control groups. What active JW would want to be known throughout the circuit as the person married to the apostate?

  • torrent

    It is definitely common for family members to act this way. I think most are so entrenched/attached that it may not be possible for them to even consider that their religion is not the one and only true religion.

    I am going through a situation with my family now that will surely result in an elder(s) call, even though I haven't been to a meeting in over two years. I mentioned some doubts I had and the research I had been doing to my brother and his wife. She promptly told my folks and the wildfire of gossip has spread to the extent that I have heard that I am an apostate, my wife is dragging me away (she has no interest either way), that my brother's exwife in another town is responsible, That I am having an affair and am splitting up with my wife, and on and on. My wife thinks it's funny, but I am not real happy about it. I have chosen to keep waiting until someone decides to confront me, whether that is my family or the elders. I plan to be kind, but honest when that happens. I have no problem with anyone who stays in the Org, but it is just not for me.

    I think that if one displays the true christian spirit of love and forgiveness that Christ displayed, that it is the only chance one has of helping these people understand because that spirit is not promoted by the organization. The WTB wants to control and manipulate.

  • punkofnice

    Ding - It doesn't surprise me one itty bit.......they've had their 'minds cleansed' and are afraid the God that lives in 'pleiades' will 'soon' use 'anti-matter' to destroy them........'lovingly' of course! How happifying!

  • AwareBeing

    Our family really feels for you guys and gals who have to endure,

    on account of the worldly tactics employed by the WT overlords.

  • Cadellin

    I will echo the sentiments already expressed--It's very common to the point of being ubiquitous. I am very careful what I tell my husband. If I say anything critical of the borg, the wall goes up, the shade comes down and the lights go off within his head. I can literally see it happening. It's freaky.

    So, we don't go there. He knows how I feel; we've reached detente and I guess this is where it will stay for the time being.

    Be careful.

  • outsmartthesystem

    Sounds a bit like my situation. Although my wife insists that there is NOTHING (aside from gross infidelity) that should break up a marriage. She actually encouraged me to "research" my doubts. She truly thought I'd research and then come to my senses that the borg is right. Now that my research has proven the opposite....she desperately wants me to talk to the elders "because they're there to help and they'll understand". This is where I've drawn the line. I know that even if I don't get the boot.....the elders will make sure to tell her what spiritual danger she is in. If she hears enough of that whispered in her ear....she may leave. But she sees my neglecting to talk to the elders as proof that I am the one that is wrong....I just don't want to admit it. (that I am afraid to talk to them because they'll make me see that they're right)

  • PSacramento

    I remember when I presented my mom with my research about how God does NOT use an "organization".

    I cited chapter and verse from the OT and NT, showed even chronologically that from the very beginning, God has used INDIVIDUALS to do his teaching and works and that whenever an "organization" was involved IT caused all the problems.

    She read it and pretty much dismissed it, even though all the passages were from the NWT !

    I think that unless someone WANTS to know, WANTS to have their questions answered, showing a JW anything, even the most airtight evidence, is a waste of time.

  • i_drank_the_wine

    Sadly I do think that this is a common reaction. The second I started fading, my JW wife at the time started giving me hell every moment we were together. She eventually moved out on me, got me DF'd for drinking beer and watching regular R rated movies in the privacy of my own home by repeatedly calling the elders on me, and wanted (and got) a divorce. Funny how they say all sorts of shit about honoring your marriage vow to Jehovah, but as soon as they get the idea that you're not down for slaving to fake-old-Yahweh-in-the-sky anymore then they can violate all their own religion's standards and get divorced while having the elders stand behind them. Granted this scenario that happened to me can work either way, male/female roles reversed.

  • RayPublisher

    @Punk of nice - You said: "She refused to listen to anything even slightly negative about what she described as HER organization. We went thru' some odd conversations like: 'When we got married you were a JW so therefore you're not the same person I married!'"

    Well almost WORD FOR WORD that's what my wife said- it has been an enormous strain and everyday I try to be a good husband and she has noticed it and things have gotten a a little bit better. But I'm not out of the woods by a long shot I know that.

    @outsmartthesystem - Wifey wants me to do the same thing- "talk with the elders, they will help you". I said yeah they will help me out the door and spiritually execute me- is that what you want? They will ask me loyalty questions and that'll be it.

    Then I explained to her that they are ignorant of the problems to begin with, haven't read CoC, etc. so how would they be able to help me when they don't have a frame of reference and I already know exactly what they will say to me to "refute" the problems I have with the bOrg?

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