Telling family / friends about researching JW religion

by dozy 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • dozy

    When a JW husband of a friend of mine found out that she had been researching online about Jehovah's witnesses , he described it as a "breach of trust" and a legitimate reason to break up the marriage (or at least separate , citing the WTBTS "spiritual danger clause").

    Thankfully my own wife has been more understanding but is this kind of reaction common? And is it in some way justified on the basis that snooping around online , talking to others on messageboards , not from day one telling one's mate etc is perhaps dishonest?

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    And the JWs will still insist that they dont break up marriages...

    its the one that stops believings fault.

    horrid people


  • punkofnice

    When I left the bOrg my wife and I nealry got a divorce because of her actions. She refused to listen to anything even slightly negative about what she described as HER organization. We went thru' some odd conversations like: 'When we got married you were a JW so therefore you're not the same person I married!'

    Sadly the 'mind cleansing' of the WBT$ really works a treat, so much so it DOES BREAK UP FAMILIES!!

    The 'mind cleansing' works on such a level that the JW will never ever see any wrong with the GB or the organization. It's impossible!!

    I even said: 'This is how the watchtower breaks up families because you will never admit the GB might be wrong. You have to find the error in me!'

    Suffice to say we are coasting along and she's deluded herself that I just have doubts and questions. I cannot convince her I am in no doubt and my questions are all answered to the detriment of the WBT$. Probably becasue she refuses to listen.

    I think this comes under 'Mileu control' where the leaders are god.

  • Anony Mous
    Anony Mous

    Hey punk, same is happening to me. I told her before, about a month after I started coming here what I believed and didn't believe in. She didn't believe me and we went on with life as if nothing happened. It's after I said "I don't want to go to the KH anymore" she started.

    "You lied all this time", "You got married for the wrong reasons", "You're not the same person anymore".

    I asked her, really think about what has changed about me. I told her honestly, I used to believe the same things you did when we got married. Things have happened in the past and now I can't believe that God would allow this to happen in his organization.

    They do not get those ideas by themselves however, my wife didn't get those until she went back to the Kingdom Hall. There is an undertone in the literature and in the Kingdom Hall from others (mainly elders and their elder-wives) that gives them those ideas. They will deny that anybody influences them and you can't make them see - they are truly blinded by false religion.

  • carla

    Those of us on the end of the spectrum can say the same thing, 'you weren't a jw when we got married and are definitely not the same person anymore'. And it's true!

    jw's sadly affect marriages and families everyday. If they had any truth whatsoever they would not fear scrutiny.

    What is with jw's who do not believe spouses when they don't believe in the borg??! Drives me crazy! I am without doubt that my jw finally realizes that I do not believe anything coming out of the wt and never will. At first he didn't though. They had him using the 'you just don't want to live a godly life' (or however it goes) routine on me. Try pointing out all the un-godly things within the org and look out! fireworks, and not the good kind. I was labeled and opposer from the beginning and made the mistake of using the c- word, cult. Things since have somewhat settled down and we are able to find our life together with the damn jw's in the middle. I sometimes think jw's with ubm's have it the best in many ways. Though they may lose privileges (yeah, like cleaning the toilets or something, what a loss!) they can also do more things in life because they can always blame the 'worldly' spouse and trying to keep peace blah, blah, blah........

  • punkofnice

    Anony Mous -

    They will deny that anybody influences them and you can't make them see - they are truly blinded by false religion.

    I feel sad for you mate. I know how it feels and it proves they are all brainwashed 'mind cleansed' to act, react and speak like robots.

    I've even been told by her, the reason I left 'the truth' was because I was too lazy to go on failed circus. Ironic that she was irregular and I did 10 hours per month and pious-sneered occasionally!! Too lazy....I know that wasn't her words, it's not her style!

    Dubbies and JW rellies whisper sweet hate crime in their ears. They have their ears tickled and are told they're better than we are. This flatters them in to obeying the 7 paedo-protecters in Crooklyn, the GB!

  • punkofnice

    carla -

    they can always blame the 'worldly' spouse

    Proof positive they are ruled over by guilt, fear and phobia!

    If it were the 'truth', none of this along with propaganda stunts would be required.

    I only hope trailer's partner wakes up and smells the coffee.

  • J. Hofer
    J. Hofer

    i know that my wife's family was discussing behind my back whether it wouldn't be better for my wife to leave me, when they found out that i don't attend any meetings anymore. some came to the conclusion that it definately would be better and regretted that she probably would not consider that because of love. (i know that because i eavesdropped most of the communication)

  • punkofnice

    Hofer - Sounds like they relish bad things happening. They would probably congratulate themselves on having successfully broken up a marriage whilst at the same time piously looking down their nose and saying: 'I did it for Jar Hoover! It's HIS will!' Then they go away thinking they're now 'qualified' to live forever with a pet panda on earth after their loved ones have been lovingly murdered by Jar Hoover.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    This is why you never "tell" a faithful JW anything negative about their religion. They have programmed defenses that are all too predictable and powerful.

    The only way to get through at all is to ask questions that get them to think and even then it doesn't always work. They have to be ready to do the most psychologically difficult thing it is for a person to do: accept the possibility that they've been wrong, duped, misled, for years or even decades.

    Think of what learning the truth about the Borg did to you at first? Remember the anger? The anguish? The denial? Now imagine there is a part of the psyche that KNOWS that anguish is a possible result of accepting new and contrary information; how will new and contrary information be treated? It will be avoided at all costs because nobody wants to go through those horrible emotions. It isn't done consciously but that doesn't make it any less real.

    And that is just a part of it that doesn't even take into account the mind control that's put on them by the Borganization.

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