Feeling sad, dunno why ...

by Dudu 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Thetis

    Dudu, it's not easy to just erase everything you believed to be true.....It's like starting your life all over again, minus the guilt which has been so deeply ingrained. When good things happen, it's like a hollow victory........

    I am often too afraid to be happy in case I become sad, afraid to accept any good things that come my way as I feel I don't deserve them, afraid to reach out in case I am rejected.....all from a life time of training.

    As the others have said, go easy on yourself and expect to climb those steps and then take a few backwards again, it's all part of the process. Professional help is a good idea but make sure they understand otherwise this can make you feel worse.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Thats the word.... Anxiety! I didnt know how to express what i was feeling ... Ive been reading more about spiritual topics in general, other than that im doing the same things, and im the same loving, caring person. But I was baptized at the age of 10 and im 30 , so i think is normal to have these feelings... thanks for your comment, i know im not alone with these situation.

    You are certainly not alone. And, yes, I agree.......ANXIETY is a good expression of the feelings that come upon someone when they come to the realization that they have perhaps been duped all their life. It's like an onion. Something peels away the outter layer, and then it's one layer after another that gets peeled away. Each one easier than the previous. Further, I think it tends to undermine other institutions in life in which we have relied and that we have trusted.

    You're talking 2 months. I'm at 1 year of revelation and still anxious, angry, hurt, etc etc


  • sizemik

    The onion illustration is a good one DOC . . .

    Not only because of the un-layering nature of it all . . . but it can also make your eyes water occasionally.

    I've been away from JW's completely for about 5 years now apart from a couple of unexpected visits . . . and I'm still dealing with some of the legacy . . . which is why I'm still here I suppose. Although . . . life is 100x better now, on every level.

    Great post discreetslave.

  • nugget

    The indoctrination runs deep and sometimes it kicks in and we are not even aware of it. Not attending meetings, no service and having doubts are all things we have been made to feel guilty about. Stopping bad habits is tough withdrawal is to be expected but it is tough when it happens.

    Life does get better.

  • Dudu

    Today i felt way happier than yesterday BUT, one of my co-workers asked me if i am jw, I had to say yes coz im a teacher and it was one of her students who told her i am JW.. that student is the daugther of a JW couple I know for years ... was very odd :S

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