I realized today that I have no friends at all...it's me and my wife and two dogs and three goldfish, thats it's....I'm not too bothered by it but my wife wants to go back just for the friends.....I have de-programed her out of the "matrix" and she now thinks for herself, but she still feels like she needs a spritual side and friends. I have people at work but we don't hang out. I've become a a loner. Iam shocked how Witnesses dump you after years of friendship, helping them, giving them money in times of need....they only come by to give you your magazines for F### sake!!! BRAINWASHED CULT!!!!!!!!! I would rather die that by a Witness again. They are zombie robots! Like in the movie "The matrix" i no longer want to be a battery powering the "society" but my wife is like the bad guy who knows it's not a real steak but it tastes sooooo good......so he sells out.
My story .....no friends after leaving the Cult and lost wife?
by Witness 007 23 Replies latest jw experiences
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Gladring
Hang in there! The Spaghedeity will provide!
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shamus100
Trust me, you don't want those idiots as friends. ;)
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Gladring
Are you out in the sticks, or are you near a town?
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stillstuckcruz
It really is awful. I feel for you. Their love is exclusive on you devotion to the Society. I'm sure there are more suicides than are reported...
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Billzfan23
Get out in the community and make friends. Head to a local couples hangout spot, bar, restaurant, library, museum, etc...and start to meet people. Join a local group or club and go from there - it can be a local softball league, and indoor virtual golf league, whatever - but be social. Friends will come if you're a nice person.
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Gladring
I'd go with Billzfan.
It took a good two years after leaving to make friends for me. While in the borg, I had got into the habit of saying no to any social activities. Once I broke that habit I started taking opportunities to make friends when they come along. I still suffer shyness, but I just grabbed some opportunities. Some people will be assholes, some you'll have nothing in common with. But in time you will find a few friends who you click with.
Be patient. Most people at our stage in life have their social networks made, it takes time to break into them. Are you into music? That got me out and making friends - what hobbies do you have that you can share?
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Gladring
It does suck to find yourself with no friends (and for me, very poor social skills). Very lonely place at times.
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Gladring
What I found, was that my energy and efforts ebbed and flowed. For a few weeks, I would be full of enthusiasm and really follow up on acquaintances - you know, actually calling or meeting up with people, not just saying you will. Then I'd run out of steam. But I noticed that in the slack times, some of the efforts I'd made in the past started paying off. In other words, it might take months to see the reward - but keep making/taking the opportunities and eventually some will pay off.
Other things that worked - our young child gave my wife an excuse to join a toddler group, and she met other mums that way. Not all of them clicked, but she still keeps in touch with some. Night classes - same thing, you might make one friend out of it that'll stick.
Just keep trying.
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clarity
Witness 007,
Hi to you both. Look, being out together is a bonus but you've let it become your downfall!
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If you were a lonely single you would be much more inclined to get your butt out of that chair and find new friends and a new life! The 'pain' would be too much ........ not to!
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A couple has many more opportunities to be involved with other living breathing humans, plus you always have partner when you get 'scared'.
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Step out of your comfort zone. You can do it.
all the best
clarity