RESCUE OPERATION: What did you do to help others Wake-Up?

by 00DAD 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • 00DAD

    Please share anything--whatever facts, methods, ideas, etc.--that you found successful in helping other family members or friends to "wake-up" and leave JWs. Also, include anythings that you found didn't work or even backfired.

    I'm particularly interested in how you were able to reach family members that initially shunned you out of mis-guided loyalty due to WT indoctrination.

    FYI: I was DF'd a little over two years ago. At the time I was unaware how many of us there are that have doubts and disagree with WT doctrine. Like many that have/still do, I stayed a long time to avoid losing my family. Now I've gained my freedom but they are still Stuck in The Movement. I need help to rescue them!!!

    Thanks in advance,


  • i_drank_the_wine

    NONE. I made the mistake of giving people a list of reasons that I do not believe the religion: 607, failed predictions, UN, blood hypocrisy, and on and on. In hindsight, I probably just made my "family" and "friends" more loyal to the cult.

  • Nickolas

    This is a common theme, 00Dad. A similar thread was started several days ago.

  • 00DAD

    Thanks for the referral Nickolas

  • Reopened Mind
    Reopened Mind


    I can't take all the credit for this but TotallyADD began asking if there had really ocurred a worldwide flood. So I offered to research it for him. When he was satisfied there was no evidence of such a global catastrophe, he started wondering what else might be wrong. This opened the door for me to show him the websites I had found, namely, JWN, By this time he was not afraid to read "apostate" literature. Having served as an elder for more than 25 years and having been raised a JW, he readily related to what Ray Franz wrote in "Crisis of Conscience". We followed up by reading "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and "Releasing the Bonds" by Steve Hassan. Two excellent books.

    I think the most important thing is to listen closely to the concerns of the person you are trying to help. Ask leading questions a little at a time so the person sees for himself what a hokey religion the JWs is. When I visited a long time friend in the org she was spouting all the familiar catch phrases so I just left her alone. If she's happy with where she is, who am I to make an enemy of her by trying to change her? Although TotallyADD and I have left we are neither DF'd nor DA'd. I know that will make it more difficult for you to reach out to family members still in.


    Reopened Mind

  • leavingwt



    Steve Hassan's 'Strategic Interaction Approach', as outlined in his 2nd book, 'Releasing the Bonds', available from Free Minds.

    NOTE: If a person TRULY enjoys being a JW, he or she is not going to leave, 99% of the time.

  • wobble

    I tried various things with family members, none have worked so far, and I no longer care too much.

    The older ones have six decades of their lives invested in this cult, and seem happy to be JW's, so I let them get on with it.

    The younger ones have their own reasons no doubt for sticking with it, they too seem happy enough.

    I am here for them if they ever want to discuss matters, but I will not be pro-active in trying to free them anymore, I am now too much of an Ex-JW, it really doesn't matter.

  • Nickolas

    I have come to that conclusion myself, wobble. As much as it sounds and feels like surrender, I still wonder about the possibility of tipping the balance with gently offered facts and observations that pose no immediately perceived threat (thereby not causing defenses to be raised and subsequent termination of thinking and listening) but nevertheless plant a small seed of doubt that may be subsequently nurtured into full blown uncertainty. It is that indelible certainty that the Watchtower is what it claims to be, that cognitive dissonance that blinds one to obvious fallacies, that holds Jehovah's Witnesses captive, especially those who love the Watchtower. But do you ever hear a tiny, tiny voice in the back of your mind telling you that you've forgotten something or that something, something is missing? Most of the time you shake it off, but some of the time you come to realise what it is. Patiently and lovingly planting a seed or two and watching to see what might sprout might be the best strategy of all.

  • AGuest

    Greetings, dear 00DAD, and peace to you!

    For me, telling them the truth ABOUT God and Christ... and not trying to lead them AWAY from God and Christ (which is what the WTBTS says we, those who leave THEM, will do). Some folks who want them out FORGET that... while doubting the WTBTS... these STILL believe... in God and Christ. They forget that in addition to asking them to leave the WTBTS, they may be asking, urging, trying to compel, and even trying to guilt them into more: leave "Jehovah", as well. Leave... God. But the truth is that in addition to those who stay because they can't bear being ostracized or are truly staying for the WTBTS... the FDS... the GB... OR family... there are those who stay because they THINK "Jehovah" is "with" these people somehow... or was with them (and they now have some suspicion that He might no longer be). Many, then, WANT to leave that harlot... but don't want to leave God. They stay, then, because they don't know where ELSE to go!

    Those who want their loved ones out, though... or even just other JWs... must ask themselves, then: WHY do I want them out? For WHOSE benefit (mine - i.e., no more meetings/FS/assemblies, no more WTBTS "control" over any part of my marriage, family, life, no more "Armageddon", I can sleep in on weekends, don't have to rush home after work for meetings... and the list goes on). Yes, they can ask, "do I want him/her/them out because THIS organization is a misleading cult... and so, I don't care if they believe in God; I just don't these people telling him/her/them about Him? Or do I want them not only out of this religion, but all religion, indeed ALL things even related to faith?

    Right now, they see, three choices from the WTBTS: (1) serve Jehovah (God) by serving the WTBTS; (2) don't serve God; or (3) there is no God. From many who are trying to get them out, there are no choices... because there is no God. The latter won't work for these, though, because they have and are conscious of their SPIRITUAL need.

    So, the true bottom line is stay in the WTBTS... or give up God. That seems to be the only choices they are given.

    I would offer that there are other choices, though. In particular, I would offer that one could tell them TRUTH about one of the WTBTS most false... and most heinous... teachings: that there are only a few who should partake of the flesh and blood of Christ... that they number 144,000... that they will live forever in heaven (and are the only ones who even go there)... and that NO ONE else should so partake... particularly those of the "great crowd"... and that the great crowd will not only go to heaven (which they will, for a short period)... but will live... forever... ON EARTH... WITHOUT having so partaken... which is in DIRECT opposition to what Christ is recorded to have said at John 6:48-58:

    "I am the bread of life. Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, yet they died. But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which anyone may eat and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”

    Then the Jews began to argue sharply among themselves, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?”

    [Jesus] said to them, “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. J ust as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.”

    I have had the privilege of sharing this truth with many over the years. And it seems to "ring" the same with virtually every one that I have. And as a result, most DO leave the WTBTS... sooner or later. Because NOW the choice isn't "the WTBTS or no God." It's "God... but no WTBTS." True, some leave only to join another harlot - what can I do? That's on them. Faith is not the possession of all men... and living as a free person is not easy for everyone. Some NEED to be led... and need to see the one(s) leading them. Even if such ones are lying to them. They're enslaved in a manner of speaking once again, yes. But they ARE out of HER.

    Some leave... and also leave God altogether. Again, nothing I can do. Free will... and thus, free choice.

    Most who left, however... joined themselves to Christ, and him alone. They no longer subscribe to ANY religion... or put their faith in the Bible as something to be followed, adhered to, and used to "see"... but simply do their utmost to LIVE the law... of love. In their homes, in their communities, at work, and in their relationships (as spouses, parents, children, siblings, even exs...).

    Of all the verses I have shown people over the many years... these, John 6:48-58, seem to be the ones that at least get them to CONSIDER, if they haven't already... that the WTBTS is a false prophet. If, then, you are not concerned that they leave GOD... so much as they leave the WTBTS... it might be something to show them, have them read... and then ask them what it means to THEM... and why THEY think the WTBTS teaches to the contrary.

    I hope this helps and, again, peace to you!

    A slave of Christ,


  • just n from bethel
    just n from bethel

    The best action that helped me was ... nothing. Yep those that said nothing - but lived their lives in a way that completely broke down the myth that JWs claim about ones who leave.

    Observing some relatives of mine over a period of years that had left the org and ALL religious belief systems, I was most impressed by their humble, happy, and successful life. They never once preached their agnosticism/athiesm. They didn't claim to have THE TRUTH about Christ or Allah or any other ancient legend. They left prior to Ray Franz and never bothered to read his books or keep up with any others that left the org later. They simply walked away, and lived their life. They worked hard in a number of charities and careers - made money but were generous and frugal at the same time. Never criticized the JWs when the JW family tried to preach to them (and it seemed to happen multiple times year after year), but still respectfully defended their own positions.

    Their immediate family was closer than any religious family I'd ever observed and not filled with problems that seemed to plague many of the JWs and religously pious. They enjoyed animals, travel, education, science, history, movies, and many hobbies that kept their minds sound and in the present.

    And one day I looked around at not just my relatives, but many others I had known over the years that had left the org. The majority of the ones that had left dogmatic religious piousness behind, were living lives that were far more successful than those that still clinged to judeo-christian mythology or even the JWs-runied-my-life attitude. You won't find many on forums like this because they've moved on pretty quick. I hope to join them one day. If I'm still here multiple years from now spouting out dogmatic doctrine on whatever my beliefs are at the time, then it will have been a sad journey, one not for any to follow.

    But for the many silent ones that skipped this step altogether and got on with their life, all while leaving superstitious dogma behind - you've done more for real truth than anyone I've ever seen here. I look forward to joining you soon, and from what those that know me have told me recently, they've never seen me happier. Amazing what can happen when you leave, not only a high control group behind, but religous mythology altogether. Live that life and others are sure to be inspired and be happy - anything else, especially religously dogmatic, you might be looking at pushing away observing JWs - because that's what would've happened to me had I only seen those that went the Jesus freak route. Thank god enough people took a more balanced route - they'll be the ones that continue to set the post-JW standard for living the best life, IMHO.

    I'd say I hope this helps, but I know it works for sure - so no need for faith on this one.

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