hahahaha - I remember as a kid in grade school... my older sister once found a Bic pen on the playground. (I think that they cost around a quarter back then... maybe more... it was over 45 years ago...)
Anyway, she took it in to the main office at the school and turned it in to the lost and found.
I think that there is a limit on what I would do to try to locate the 'owner' who may have lost something.
Remember... a lot of these stories are made up by fellas who haven't been out in the 'real world' since about the late 50's or early 60's. So, the 'flavor' of their stories reflects that era.