How are things going since my exit?

by discreetslave 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    3 weeks is a good little break from the WT routine. Even if he slips back into the routine again, he'll remember how stress-free his life was during the time off. Every little break helps!

    Have fun on vacay!

  • discreetslave

    Our trip was postponed. Friday night we almost had a huge argument but it turned around and he just let me talk and he didn't shut me down like he has when I get into my reasons for leaving or about my views of Christianity.

    It was awesome. He interjected here and there with typical JW responses but he was not as defensive as he had gotten before. I may be putting cracks in his foundation. This is huge. I thought I missed the boat with him. I've been regrtetting not being more articulate and giving more details as to my exit in my DA letter. I wrote it so hastily and I'll never know if I could have reached someone but the person I care most about reaching is him. I never thought he would have let me say all I did.

    The next morning when his alarm went off at 7:30. I layed there praying he wouldn't go out in service and that the kids wouldn't get up either. We both went back to sleep and didn't wake up until the my 2yo woke us up at 9:55. It was an awesome morning which turned into a great day. He went to the meeting on Sunday but I honestly think if the power was still out at the KH he wouldn't have gone to another one (I live within 20 min of 22 english cong.'s and a french group we use to attend there is no excuse to miss a meeting here).

    We're supposed to visit my family this coming weekend which means a 4th week no service unless he gets out during the week(he broke his record at 2 weeks). I'm still dreading the upcoming WT's on apostates then the one on loyalty in dealing with df'd ones.

    He's planning on visiting our old cong the day of the apostate article. I don't know how many in that cong. know I left. I emailed one couple from there and I don't know who've they've shared it with. Part of me wants to go with him and tell the first person who approaches me beware I'm a mentally diseased apostate according to the WT. Since that wouldn't go over to good I'll refrain. Especially since it seems I may be able to wake him up after all. I'll keep you posted.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises
    Part of me wants to go with him and tell the first person who approaches me beware I'm a mentally diseased apostate according to the WT.

    LOL... if I could stomach going to a KH I would do the same!

    It sounds like he's being reasonable under the circumstances. Slowly does it... don't expect too much too soon, nor try to confront him with more than he can handle. But it sounds like you're doing a good job so far.

  • discreetslave

    Thanks guys. I'm trying to take it slow. After rushing out I was worried I had burned a bridge. I'm doing my best to take it slow now that I've been given a second chance.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi discreetslave. It sounds like your husband loves you more than the WTBTS, which is a good sign! Go slow by not saying anything derogatory about the WTBTS and planning fun activities that will gradually take him away from attending meetings. Occasionally ask him how he feels when he seems anxious about something related to the WTBTS. Since he knows that you will not tell the elders about his doubts, he will be honest with you about his feelings. Always ask him about how he feels without telling him about how you feel or think about the WTBTS, unless he insists about knowing how you feel or what you think.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • discreetslave

    Well things got pretty rocky after my last update . We got into a number of arguments. As of this weekend we're on the mend. We didn't go away I'm planning on taking the trip without my husband. I feel I need to be in NYC for at least a week or more and his work makes that difficult. Plus going without him makes it possible to meetup with exJWs. I don't want to see him go off to a meeting anyway it'll just bum me out. NYC always renews me so I think it will be better without him. I can do some soul searching.

    My college plans are postponed. I've decided to apply to other schools. Right now I don't want anything to do with the Bible other than to help wake a witness up or keep someone who wants to be a christian away from JW's. The college I was accepted to is a Christian university & right now my views are rapidly changing so a secular school would be better.

    The changes occuring in me & my life are happening so fast. I feel like I can't keep up at times. Right after I left I was sure I didn't want to be exclusive to one religion but I still considered myself a Christian. Now I'm so turned off by the Bible. The homophobic views, the chauvinism, the bloodshed, not to mention all the horrible things done by religions who profess it's the word of God. I love people and variety so right now I think the Bible & I are no longer compatible. I like Jesus and the good principles found in it but that's about it. So that leaves me in limbo as to whether there is a God. I'm on the fence right now. Agnosticism seems to be a better fit for how I feel right now. This is so strange since March I went from JW othersheep to JW anointed to JW apostate & born again Christian to whatever I am now.

  • life is to short
    life is to short


    I can so relate to you about not knowing what to truly believe. I have always wanted to have a belief in God, but even when I was pioneering, at Bethel, etc I could never understand him. I think my problem was when I was a teenager I read the Bible through cover to cover. It just left so many questions for me. Questions I could never get answered.

    I remember when I got to bethel I spent night after night, hours and hours in the library's trying to find my answers. With all the books available to me in the true house of God I felt sure I would have answers.

    Nope it still left more questions then ever. Still I tried to tell myself that it was just to deep for me, etc. After all everyone else seemed to get it so the problem clearly had to be me right? My questions were not the kind that were on doctrinal issues but on how Jehovah treated people. Why did he have some of the stories written that were so cruel and heart wrenching reordered in the Bible? I have never found any true answers.

    I would love to believe in a God that loved me. I am jealous of people who have that feeling of being loved by Him, I want that feeling so badly. But I never felt it, no matter how hard I have tried to please him. To me God seems like my abusive parents. Yes they gave me life but I was never to enjoy this life. I was only born to be there for them, for them to use in anyway they saw fit. I had no rights in my parents eyes. I was an ungrateful child who should have been happy that they allowed me to be abused by themselves and others.

    To me that seems like what God is all about. No matter how much I try to get him to love me he never will.


  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Honestly, I'm glad you're not going to end up at Liberty. That place is fundy-loon paradise.

    Have you considered going the (much cheaper) community college route for your first two years and then metriculating to one of the state universities? Transferring from a VA CC you don't need to worry about the same admissions requirements that incoming freshmen do. You end up with the same degree for much less money.

  • leavingwt

    Right after I left I was sure I didn't want to be exclusive to one religion but I still considered myself a Christian. Now I'm so turned off by the Bible.

    Many of us have been through this. Just keep reading and learning and take your time. Unlike the WT and its false sense of urgency, you're in control of the timing. You're intelligent and you can decide for yourself what you believe and your opinions and values and evolve over time, with your increased knowledge and life experience.

    Hang in there.

  • DesirousOfChange

    I just found out he's assigned to handle the mics every 2 weeks and some reading assignments. He has two young kids and no JW wife...

    You could volunteer to keep the kids at home those nights.......just the kids wouldn't care.

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