Fingers in the ears tactic

by trailerfitter 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • trailerfitter

    Hi again, some of you know my partner is going down the road to the Kingdom Hall and will be baptised soon. Thanks to those who gave some expert and wonderful advice about this earlier...

    I am opposed to the JWs message. I wonder some times if I just agreed to everything all will be okay. ( like my father does for a quiet life). I can help thinking how unjust some things are so I put up my foolish resistance anyhow.

    The darling wife came home yesturday from a meeting with joy about a talk by a guest speaker on famous people who believed in God. Yeah okay Micheal Jackson was a JW at one point and even Charles Darwin was going to be a minister before he decided to become a naturalist. To my amazement she went on the internet to show me what had been written about Abraham Lincoln. Okay yeah,... I study on the internet all the time,...however I raised an issue about using the internet for research, We'd already talked about this some time back. Turns out everything I look up on ther net is distorted lies that has been put on there by Satan influenced people including ex JWs, Everything she look up is all bright and true.... work that one out....(shock).

    We even got to the point last night where she put her fingers in her ears to stop listening to me...that is rudeness but is this fingers in the ears a JW tactic? However many folk think the same as myself on the net, I have never actually felt so alone in my thinking as I do now.

    When I looked at the FAITH IN ACTION video yesturday ( on my own) I couldn't help but notice how much of a point was made to say how bad other religions are, imeragerye of the banner waving bible students say " RELIGION IS A SNARE AND A RACKET" was very prominent. I am studying TV and film at the moment , this passive form of none random imeragery beliberately put in at certain times in the DVD is very powerfull and in a none verbal form enforces the message.

    The WWII issue of the church blessing soliders was madein this DVD.. I personally feel that it was needed to resist Hitler and the horrors he had in store for Europe. The video gives talks from some of the Governing Body members,....stating the jehovah is a fighter, and the JWs are not pacifists ( meaning they were fighting pacifists) . In that case why was it so wrong to bless the troops who gave their lives so people like the WT can print their mush?? Okay yeah,... don't answer that's written in the bible isn't it? The whole DVD was telling folk how much the JWs had suffered and how wondeful they were. Okay, So how about actually tackling issues world povety instead of waiting for your Jehovah to do it all.? They'd rather critise the UN and call them the whore of Babalon instead. Incidently this is how we got onto the internet lies,...I pointed out the the WT had a membership in the UN until they were found out...even after saying that it was in national UK newspapers she wouldn't accept it point blank.

    It appears to me that ever base has been covered by bible teachings and the WT policies? I want to stop her bible classes from happening here in our house and tell my wife to take it elsewhere. That though is playing into their hands,...yet again persecution and we wouldn't want to do that in this day and age would we.

    Why they cannot see that all other religions are valid to those who want to follow them if they want free speach why do they continue to knock others and then cry they are being the victim when it is turned on them??.....

    If you can't beat them join them? No I think not.

  • Glander

    You are in a bad spot. If your wife is preparing for Baptism into the JWs I feel it would be reasonable to set down with her and ask her how this decision will be impacting your family relationship. If you are expected to respect her new vows how does she feel about respecting yours? You may find situations that require compromise. Will she accept compromise? JWs are all about zero compromise. I think this serious conversation is really necessary ASAP. You sound like you might be of an age to be starting a family. This is an extremely serious matter to agree on. Will your children be raised as JWs? etc etc.

    PS. The fingers in the ears are a dead givaway that she is not confident of her conviction.

  • trailerfitter

    Hi Glander .. thanks for reply. We already have 2 children and one of those is 6 years old. the other is 18. I'm actually 43 years old!! I have told her to think carefully about our situation and the fact we might not stick around if she decides to devote much time to 'their' missionary work. This, she thinks is her calling.

    I cannot talk to her about the issue and how it effects us,... we've tried. The effect from her side she perhaps does not realise. I told her about the blood situation and will be seeking legal advice about my situation with her. The child is okay in the UK as noone can refuse blood for a child however we did agree that she is not to take the child out of the country because of the this.

    It is a good sign if you say that she is not confident about her convictions, does not appear that way. I know that she also has been complaining about me and my attiude. Perhaps this would not be so bad if she'd talked to some one out of the JW organisation though.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Tell her nothing. That way she has nothing to stick her fingers in her ears for.

    Make her prove every bit of BS that leaves her mouth. Do not let her change the subject. She has to prove the stuff that she comes up with ... no diversions allowed.

  • blond-moment

    "Make her prove every bit of BS that leaves her mouth. Do not let her change the subject. She has to prove the stuff that she comes up with ... no diversionsallowed" blacksheep

    If you do this, don't let her throw in any questions until she has answered yours. JW are trained to take control of the conversation by answering questions with questions. Soon as they do that, they control the convo. You don't have to get mean or angry, but stay firm.

    Randy Watters from has some great tips for talking to, and asking questions, that do not trigger the auto shut down(fingers in the ears) witnesses do. He has some great info on his site, even the "what does the bible really teach" study guide, how to study from that book, while raising the right questions that makes them think.

    That DVD made me so angry to watch, just propaganda fluff.

  • outsmartthesystem

    Listen to Blonde Moment and Black Sheep. I was once a very devout JW. I was very skilled at answering questions with questions. Or throwing out ad hominem attacks or red herring diversions. I was very much (as are all JWs) like a politician in that I would never actually answer a question I didn't want to answer. If I ever got pinned in a corner by an astute critic.....I always had the fallback that every JW uses. That critic was being controlled by Satan and was trying to damage my faith. It was best to excuse myself than to engage in a pointless discussion with one that was obviously not "rightly disposed". This is the thinking that JWs automatically fall back to without knowing it in an effort to protect their beliefs.

  • trailerfitter

    Outsmart. did you really believe the critic was being controlled by satan?? wow. How did that feel? did you fell superior in that knowledge?

  • trailerfitter

    Right, I have now personally experienced the influenced by Satan excuse. It is a pathetic and sorry reply to say the least!

    Satan will stop at nothing to get people to not join the JWs.... I wonder if satan is really bothered to be honest as the WT are doing a good job in misleading it's faithful to say the least. I bet ol'nick has a chuckle every time a JW struggles with life and refuses blood on the operating table or if faced with a life or death situation.....nothing more emotionally testing... this sorry practice could only be dreamt up by some one mentally ill.

    Now the tide has turned, I am the one putting fingers in the ears and saying LA LA LA but only doing it to mimic the reaction. I am surprised how quickly she has learned "their" responses. Anything that is too hard to comprehend is brushed off quickly with a second though. I see now how it works...a defense mechanisim. I keep slowly offering the truth how I see bible scripture and now watch the reaction of how it is to be answered. I think it is quite amusing that there is a scurry to the holy book and a rustling of pages then silence while the answer is constructed....

  • punkofnice
    We even got to the point last night where she put her fingers in her ears to stop listening to me...that is rudeness but is this fingers in the ears a JW tactic?

    Well, maybe not in a literal way but the brainwashing 'mind cleansing' will make her incapable of hearing anything negative about the WBT$. The trap is set really early on in the studies with newbies where they say (sorry I don't have the ref) that relatives will try to stop a person studying. You are likely fulfilling this prophecy in her mind thus making the WBT$ correct.

    Hang on in there. She's at the honeymoon stage right now. If she gets craptized she'll soon find out who her friends are and who just wanted to count time on their monthly report talking to her.

    I feel your frustration mate, I really do!

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I am surprised how quickly she has learned "their" responses

    Don't be. Cult mind control works.

    Have you read Steven Hassan's book "Combatting Cult Mind Control"? It is indespensible to anyone with loved ones already in, or being recruited by, a cult.

    Good luck. And keep us posted.

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