Some of you may have had the same experience. (I hope) I always worked hard on preparing to give talks to the congregation. I am self-conscious and I need to feel as though I am really bringing something worthwhile "to the table." When I was giving Public Talks, the local elders always seemed concerned if the talk seemed in any sense "original" I used the outlines as just that, outlines. I used the scriptures that were in the outlines. But I also put a lot of thought into my preparation...I made the material my own and felt as though I was sharing my faith with people who shared my faith.
But the consternation among the elders...I was a MS...
It didn't prevent them from allowing me to go out to surrounding congregations, which actually sort of confirms my gut feeling that they are actually jealous to some degree, of my freedom to use whatever illustration I feel fits, with whatever limited articulateness I may have, and it works (!); they on some level, recognised that I actually was being encouraging. But they had to work me over regularly, about some miniscule detail that was in my talk, that may have been worded in a way that they hadn't seen in print. Not actually apostate, but more like "who do you think you are, actually THINKING about your material?"
I still go to most of the meetings. Most of the brothers still give these lukewarm, uninspiring talks. And I know that they are just doing what they are told to do; not to shine in any way because it puts too much emphasis on themselves rather than the wonderful material that the wonderful organization has provided. But what a drag! I want to know people who actually have hearts and blood flowing through thier veins, not robots who just fill the allotted time-slot.