And that about covers it!
And that about covers it!
@I drank the wine: Amen. I have immense guilt over EVERYTHING I DO! From being a good parent to being a good employee. Just ridiculous.
Me personally, one thing I've learned is how not to grow to emotionally attached to other people. I blame that entirely on my upbringing in this religion. The second I had a crew of friends that I loved more than my own flesh and blood, I was forced to stop speaking to them entirely because of this religion's teachings on disfellowshippings. There's one instance that will always stand out to me though, and its something that happened at a JW graduation party. A couple females supposedly got into a scuffle over me, and I had long left the party. After the Sunday meeting, it got back to my father about this party, and although I wasn't there when the situation happened, my name came up. Probably the worst ride home in my life as a teenager. I learned a valuable lesson that day, that you should NEVER under any circumstances get overly close to another JW or get associated with any clique of JWs, or for that matter anybody else. I always loved the rapper Nas' lyric that goes, "I never sleep because sleep is the cousin of death." Ya know something, call my view skewed, but the friend is only a step away from being an enemy, a hinderance, or a liability.
Proberbs 18:1-A loner is out to get what he wants for himself. He opposes all sound reasoning.
Thats what Proverbs says, George 6:66 says, "A loner is out to get what he wants for himself. Dagnabbit you're right! And a whole lot less stressed as a result from avoiding people and all the crap that comes along with em!!!"
O Pig I completly agree with you!! to bad this thread seems to have turned into mournfull wearing out of woes dispite your good intentions. I know exactly what you mean about apprecaiting the normalness. I get giddy at Christmas, I love that I can make friends with anyone I choose. I apprecaite alot of things out of life people with no Witness background dont even understand. Just the simple joy of being just anyother person In the wide community that is all people, being a part of it all and not being scared
I have a good group of friends I grew up with,and now,we're all out. But,we became friends,because we all grew up in the same congregation.
And I think it taught me empathy and how to relate to people from a variety of ethnic,and socio-economic backgrounds.
It wasn't all bad,sometimes,we had a lot of goofy fun. And we can look back and laugh at all the really crazy people that passed through the doors of the Kingdom Hall,like the old man who barked like a dog during the prayer,or the little boy who sucked on rocks,and the list goes on,and on....
The Watchtower gave us a fantasy presented as reality. I grew up believing that every person I loved would be with me for eternity in bliss. I was told that "Jehovah would grant any desire" and I was so happy that he was going to resurrect my dead pets and grant them eternal life since it would be my wish.
The bonds that are created with other human beings while living within a fantasy actually transcend the fantasy. Because friendship is never NOT real. They can be interpreted many ways from many differen't perspectives, but never can they be said not to have happened.
A friend that becomes an enemy because the friend has been misled doesn't actually destroy the friendship, but limits it. Each party, within the most private part of their pysche, knows the truth, if it is not too hidden, that the relationship never actually died or had reason to. Instead, the relationship just met some external criteria that spawned an ultimatum. Some are too scared to go against the grain so they recede back to the group (give into the ultimatum) with hopes of the lost one's return.
In the meantime those bonds, although sometimes fast burning and broken now, are still worth given honorable positive mention.
just one other thing i thought of...
When i read books about those people who have had a JW upbringing and I read about all the times they were mistreated and hurt, and eventually they end the story about how they couldnt be happier in their new life.... it's just a remarkable life, a terrible start with such a happy ending.
Just the fact that that have this amazing story to tell kind of gives a different value to their life. I know some people who have no story at all, they grew up went to school and got married. Not that that's bad, but I really appreciate a story of struggle and overcoming that hardship.
I gues what I'm getting at is I wouldnt want my memory wiped and filled with different ones. Because what I've been through is what makes me me. My life isnt perfect but i wouldnt want to swap it with anyone else, because it's my fight, not theirs, and I feel like I can handel it and tweak it to my advantage. And I think when I'm an old man I'll be really satisfied that I had a rocky start but turned it around.
There was nothing positive about my upbringing that was not available outside the cult's teachings/confines.
Overcoming the demons implanted in your head by lunatic control freaks doesn't make you a better person, no matter how you try to spin it.